


A Lion Tamed 3

by StuffandThangs11



Series: A Lion Tamed [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Abduction, BDSM, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Castration, Character Death, Coercion, Dom/sub, Exhibitionism, Hand Jobs, Human Trafficking, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internet, Master/Pet, Multi, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Orgasm Denial, Orgy, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychological Trauma, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Psychology, Public Humiliation, Public Nudity, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sadism, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Slavery, Spanking, Strapping, Subdrop, Submission, Therapy, Threesome - M/M/M, Violence, Whipping, psychological reconditioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:37:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 55,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6839320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StuffandThangs11/pseuds/StuffandThangs11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the episode 8x18 - Restoration</p><p>What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.</p><p>This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Derek's fingertips idly reach up to slide over the collar at his neck. He knows that his hands are supposed to remain behind his back a majority of the time, but it makes him feel better to touch and feel it. Mikael's promises and the fact that Derek's still wearing this collar are probably the only things keeping him as stable and calm as he is. 

Derek feels okay. He feels more okay than he'd thought he would. Whether or not he can maintain the feeling that he'll make it to the other side of this and Mikael will be there, well, that remains to be seen.

His Master is not here with him. Mikael will come for him. Eventually.

The plane ride is quiet for the most part. The plane ride is also long. It's a long time to be quiet with three people in such close quarters, especially when one of those people is Zane.

Zane seems to have very little to say to Jesse. Jesse seems content with the silence every bit as much as Nick would have been. Derek is biding his time, thinking ahead about how things might go once they get back into the states, back to Quantico.

Derek is missing Mikael with an intensity that he knows will only grow as time passes. He has to work hard not to cry, not to think Mikael... Mikael... Mikael...

Zane has one of his guns in his hand for much of the plane ride. It's resting on his thigh and trained at Jesse. Jesse seems at ease with that. Derek knows that being in the Gallery for so long, also in the FBI before that, Jesse has probably had guns trained at him before. He's probably seen and been through worse things.

Derek rests his head against Zane's other leg, dozing here and there.

It's only when the plane starts its descent into Florida that Zane speaks.

"So I guess we need to get some things straight. I'm in charge. You might have the inside scoop about what needs to be done on the FBI front, Nickjesse, but all final decisions about Derek are mine." Zane can be silly and fun and random and ridiculous. When he has to be, he can also be ruthless and somewhat frightening. He's both of those latter things now.

Jesse nods. "It's just Jesse."

"Yeah, how am I to know that? Your name could be Dick for all I know. Yeah, I think I'll call you Dick." Zane says. "It's appropriate."

"All final decisions are yours." Jesse says.

"And I wanna know every damn thing you do. I find out you're holding out on me _at all_ , we're done. Derek and me are out on our own, FBI be damned. You got it?"

Jesse nods. "I've got it."

"So what's the plan, Dick?"

Jesse seems to steel himself from the digs Zane is making about his name before answering. "We land. We rent a car. We head up the East coast all the way into Virginia. We might have to stop off at a motel some night in there, get some sleep since none of us have slept in two nights now."

"Then what?"

"Then I take Derek in with me."

"To Quantico, Sir?" Derek asks.

Jesse nods. "To Quantico. They'll want to make sure you're okay, get a statement. You have to be careful not to mention Mikael or Zane. You have to ask to come back with me. Tell them you need to be with me. You don't want to be alone and I'm the only one you trust. I'll take care of whatever convincing that's left to do after that."

"And where am I gonna be through all this?" Zane asks.

"You're my boyfriend who's been watching my house while I've been gone." Jesse says. "You'll be at my house."

Zane doesn't seem to care much for this idea, but he accepts it anyway because what else are they going to do? "How long do you think the feds will take with you and Derek?"

Jesse leans in, his look challenging. "Possibly an entire twenty-four hours. Can you handle being alone for that long, Zane?"

"Only if I have to... _Dick_." Zane counters, leaning in as well. "Do you lie to every man you fuck, _Dick_?"

"I didn't want to lie to you, to any of you, not after I knew you."

"Screw that noise." Zane shakes his head and meets Derek's gaze. "I don't like the twenty-four hour thing."

"It could be shorter, Sir. It could also be longer depending on what they want from me and what I'm willing to give them." Derek says. "The two of you should get cell phones. In Florida. New cell phones so that you and Nick can keep in touch. Nick... I mean Jesse. Jesse can call you if it's longer than twenty-four hours."

"I can buy us cell phones." Jesse says with a nod.

Zane nods too. "Yeah, that's pretty much the least you can do, Dick."

 

* * *

 

At the airport Jesse rents a car. Zane sits in the backseat with Derek. His gun is out again, ready to shoot Jesse dead if he suspects anything strange afoot. They drive straight to a store that sells cell phones. Jesse goes in and Zane stays with Derek in the car.

"You think the gun is necessary, Sir?" Derek asks.

"I think until we're settled and we really know what game he's playing, the gun is absolutely mother-fucking necessary." Zane wraps an arm around Derek's shoulders, pulling him close into his side. "I can't trust him. You shouldn't trust him either."

"He was undercover doing a job." Derek shakes his head. "I'm not saying I trust him, but I understand that he was in a rough spot the minute he cared about me, and then you and Mikael. I think he's doing what he can now, Sir."

"We're all doing what we can, Derek. We need Mikael."

"You need him too, Sir?"

"Yes. No. Maybe." Zane dramatically rolls his eyes. "He's better at making decisions than me."

"You're doing fine, Sir." Derek says. "I thought maybe... you were hurt because you liked who you thought Jesse was."

"Are you psychoanalyzing me?" Zane asks. "Because if so, don't."

Derek looks away, out of the window toward the store Jesse had gone into. He can see Jesse at the counter. Zane squeezes Derek's shoulders a few times, like a pulsating hug.

"Alright I'm an asshole when I'm pissed off. Maybe you're right." Derek looks back over to Zane. "Dick's not who we thought he was."

"Jesse, Sir." Derek says. "Maybe we should try to figure out who he really is."

"You're the ex-profiler, right? You figure out who he is and let me know."

Derek smirks and shakes his head. Jesse is coming back to the car. Derek never saw him do anything but pick out phones and purchase them through the large windows of the store. Straight to business, just like what Nick would have done. So who is Jesse?

"I don't want him dead, Sir." Derek says it quickly before Jesse can get all the way to the car. "I don't want you dead either."

"Yeah? If wishes were horses, or whatever that stupid phrase is..."

Jesse gets in the car. Zane's hand tightens on the gun in his lap.

"I already had the girl inside program our numbers in each others' phone." Jesse looks at Zane in the rearview mirror as he passes one of the phones back to the other man. "Do you remember Mikael's number?"

"He would have gotten rid of his phone just like we did." Zane says. "Don't worry. He'll be in touch with me eventually."

Jesse nods and they get on the road. "We'll drive for awhile, see how far we get before we need sleep."

"I can stay awake forever." Zane says. "Sleep is overrated."

"You could take turns sleeping, Sirs." Derek says. "Also, I know how to drive... or I used to know how to drive." It's been a very long time but he knows he can do it. Neither of the men he's with go for it. Derek hadn't really expected them to. Derek is Mikael's most precious possession. They're supposed to take care of him in every way.

"Anxious to get there, huh?" Zane asks.

"I'm anxious to be where Mikael can easily find us, Sir." Mikael knows they'll be in the D.C. area. Jesse had given Mikael his address. "Aren't you?"

Zane doesn't argue. "I'll sleep when you're with your old buddies trying to avoid questions about where you've been."

Derek meets Jesse's gaze in the rearview mirror. He has no idea what Jesse might be trying to convey to him or if he's just looking and not trying to say anything at all. Who is Jesse?

 

* * *

 

They end up stopping overnight at a motel. Zane wants to keep an eye on Jesse so he demands one room, but with two beds. Derek doesn't get to sleep in the middle of his guards as he once would. A part of him is sad about that. A part of him isn't sure he'd want to sleep next to Jesse right now.

Zane is loaded up on weapons even as Derek lays down in the bed with him. Jesse lies in the other bed and stares at the ceiling. As per his usual, he says nothing when Derek wishes he would say everything. Maybe there's something reassuring in that one, small, consistency.

Eventually it looks like Jesse has fallen asleep. Zane falls asleep too with his arm around Derek and a gun in his hand. Derek, thankfully, finds sleep too.

When the room is first starting to get light again, Derek feels Zane's hand on his cock. A glance at the other bed shows Jesse still asleep. Zane's hand strokes over him again and again.

"Shhh..." Zane whispers. "Don't wanna wake Dick up."

Derek smirks because the phrasing is amusing. Zane is grinning against his shoulder. Derek is glad that Zane is grinning. It means Zane isn't so pissed off that he can't smile, at least not right now in this moment.

"I can please you too, Sir." Derek says softly.

"Nah. Gotta stay alert. Just a quickie to take care of you."

Derek presses back against Zane, his ass pressing to Zane's cock. Zane is still fully clothed but Derek can feel that he's hard. "You want me, Sir."

"Yep. I'll have you soon enough."

Derek understands. Zane needs to feel comfortable enough to give into his own desires. Right now he doesn't feel comfortable with Jesse so close by. Derek rolls to his back and spreads his legs, looking up to Zane. "How about just a kiss, Sir? Can I have that?"

"You're the devil, you know. Might as well be offering me an apple."

Another smirk and Derek lifts his hips up to press his cock into Zane's hand. "That would make you Eve, Sir." Zane's lips are against his and they kiss. It's a nice kiss. It isn't Mikael, but Derek knows his body wants this, needs it.

"Adam. I'm Adam. " Zane is laughing quietly against Derek's lips. Another smile, two smiles, Zane and Derek's, pressed together in another kiss.

When Derek cums it's such a release of tension. His body had needed it. He'll always need it. He wishes he could have done more for Zane. Zane feeds Derek his spill the same way Mikael would.

"The next time we stop for gas, will you buy some cloves, Sir?"

"Gonna pick up smoking?"

Derek is stretching beneath the sheets, eyes closed, content to rest in the aftermath of one hell of an orgasm. "I just want to light them and smell them, Sir."

When Zane doesn't answer him, Derek opens his eyes. Zane is looking across at the other bed. When Derek looks, Jesse is watching. How long he'd been watching is anyone's guess. Derek isn't sure how to interpret what he sees in Jesse's eyes.

"Time to get ready and go." Zane says. "Let's get you dressed, pet."

 

* * *

 

On the second leg of their trip, Zane has been true to his word and bought Derek several packs of cloves and a lighter. Derek has lit two of the cigarettes so far. The spiced scent has filled the small space of the car. Derek takes one drag of Mikael into his lungs with each cigarette. Then he just lets it burn, occasionally pulling air through the filter to keep it lit, but not inhaling. The scent makes him feel better about getting closer to where they're going.

Mikael will find them. Eventually.

In Virginia, in a rural neighborhood that Derek has been in before and knows well, Jesse pulls into a driveway of a small house. The yard is freshly mowed but some hedge bushes in the front are in terrible need of trimming. The siding is a pale blue, the shutters, garage door and trim are white.

Jesse turns the car off and just sits there staring at the house.

Derek watches him from the backseat, wondering how strange it must be for him to be back here after so long. Probably as strange as it is for Derek to be coming back here after changing as much as he has.

"Who's been mowing your yard, Sir?" Derek asks.

"Of course you would notice that." Jesse shakes his head. "My neighbor."

"I've been in this neighborhood before." Both Jesse and Zane look at him. "I used to restore old homes. It was a hobby outside of work. I did one a block that way on the other side of the street."

"It's a good hobby." Jesse says, nodding.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's get inside." Zane opens the back door and slides out. "Open the trunk."

Jesse presses the button for the trunk and Zane grabs bags as Derek slides out of the car. The three of them go up a few concrete steps to the front door. Jesse gets some keys from under a potted plant on the front porch and unlocks the door.

The house inside is quaint with mismatched furniture. There's Harley Davidson paraphernalia on the walls and a few old western scenes painted on canvas in frames. The house smells stale, like it hasn't been lived in in a long time. Jesse turns on the air and opens some windows to help air it out.

"You've got a bike?" Zane asks.

"Yeah." Jesse waves them back through the house. There's a room that has weights in it, a full gym, with a small desk shoved into a corner. The other room is the bedroom. There's one bathroom in between the two rooms. "You two can have the bedroom."

"It's your bedroom, Sir." Derek says.

"What's mine is yours." Jesse leaves no room for argument, walking away to check things through the rest of the house.

Zane lays their bags at the foot of the bed. "You wanna wear those clothes for going into hell or do you want to borrow some of mine?"

Derek looks down at his traveling clothes, clothes Mikael loves on him but that won't go very far in convincing his friends that he's okay to live with Jesse.

"I'd like to wear nothing, but I think I should wear Jesse's clothes." Derek says. "It's more convincing, Sir." Plus Zane is bigger than Derek while he and Jesse are closer to the same size.

"You can wear nothing when you get back here to wait for your Master."

Zane's certainty that Mikael will come gets Derek to smile.

"Hey Dick!" Zane calls out as he starts pulling at the golden ties to release the leather from Derek's skin. "Derek needs some of your clothes!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

Derek is wearing a helmet. He hasn't been on a bike in a long while. Being on the back of Jesse's bike and holding onto Jesse's waist as the other man drives them in to Quantico is a strange feeling. Normally Derek would have no problem touching this man, being close to him. Now it just feels strange. Who is Jesse?

Zane had been in fine form before they left. He'd fidgeted with the ARMY tee shirt Jesse had loaned Derek. The jeans Derek wears hang low on his hips. Jesse wears a size bigger than Derek. Luckily, Derek's usual boots work just fine with these clothes. The golden laces on the boots are hidden beneath the jeans.

Jesse touches Derek's collar, sliding a handkerchief around it to wipe any of Mikael's and Zane's prints from the gold metal and onyx gems. Derek is glad he thought of it. He'll fight it if they try to take his collar this time. But it's better to be safe than sorry. Even Zane seems appreciative of the idea, until it's time for them to leave him there.

"So, pretend like you need him so you can get the fuck back here to me. Okay?"

Derek nods. "Yes, Sir."

The thing is that in the environment he's about to go into, Derek doesn't think he'll have to do much pretending. Even now, he thinks he'd rather be with Jesse, who understands everything Derek has been through, Jesse who knows where his loyalties lie, than with the FBI. That could change only if Jesse himself drastically changes.

Jesse pulls the bike into the gates, flashing an ID badge. The man waves them into the parking garage. Jesse parks and Derek gets off the bike first.

Derek has been here a million times. Right now it feels foreign. His stomach is full of nerves.

Jesse takes the helmet from Derek and places it with his own on the handlebars. He doesn't head inside right away. Instead, he stands in front of Derek and looks at him.

"I know this is weird, for you and for me. For you because of what you've been through and what you want and need and can't have right now. Me, because... it's been a long damn time and a world away since I've been here." Jesse says. "We're both walking back into a world we aren't sure we're a part of anymore. But we're doing it together. Because we're together, we're gonna be okay."

"Are we, Sir?" Derek asks. "I keep going back and forth in my mind. One minute I'm okay, one minute I'm not. One minute I wanna try to trust you. One minute I don't think I can."

"We are okay. I'm still me." The way Jesse says it, it sounds like he believes it. "You're okay, Derek."

Jesse holds out a hand. "Hold my hand."

Derek unclasps his hands from behind his back and lets Jesse take one. Derek's fingers curl, holding onto Jesse as well. Jesse nods and they head inside together.

Up an elevator, past security where they're both spot checked and past yet another security checkpoint, Derek is taken to an area of the FBI headquarters he hasn't been in all that often. The BAU works out of a certain area of the massive building. This isn't that section.

Jesse stops at a desk and flashes his badge. "Here to see SSA Thompson." The woman behind the desk nods and speaks into an earpiece.

A woman walks toward them through a hallway. She glances down at Jesse's and Derek's joined hands and back up. "Agent Mendez, Agent Morgan, I'm so glad you're both safe and back where you should be."

Wow. Agent Morgan. It's been a long, long time since Derek has been called that. The use of his former title makes his features flinch. He can't help it. That old life has never felt like it's infringing on who he is now until this very moment. Derek is not that man anymore. Is he? He's surprised at his own reaction and looks away to regain his composure.

Derek is asked to sit in the waiting room while Jesse Mendez is debriefed. It takes about an hour. It's an hour too long. His thoughts start getting less sharp, more blurred. Derek has started in one of the waiting room chairs, but eventually can't help himself and slides to the floor to kneel on it and clasp his hands behind his back. Things make more sense there. People stare at him. One man asks if he's okay. Derek nods and whispers a 'yes, sir'.

When Jesse returns, he feels a little embarrassed and stands up with a little prodding from Jesse. "I'm sorry, Sir." He whispers.

"It's okay. You're okay. I tried to make it as quick as possible." Jesse says, taking a hold of Derek's hand again. "We're going to the BAU. Then you're going to have to meet with some agents to answer questions. Are you ready?"

Derek shrugs. Will he ever be ready? Right now his voice seems to be failing him. Apparently, Derek realizes, he shouldn't be left alone.

They walk through the building together, to another floor, to an area where he's more familiar with his surroundings. Another lifetime ago, this was his second home. None of his old team are in sight. Derek thinks they might be out on a case. Then he spots Penelope in the war room. The team must be in there.

Derek's steps falter. Jesse squeezes his hand. Derek starts walking again, up the steps toward the war room.

Penelope sees him first. "Oh my god. It's you. It's... oh my god."

Hotch stands up. Everyone else follows suit. Penelope is the first to get to him though. She trots over to him on four-inch clunky heels and wraps her arms tightly around him. Derek, this time, returns the embrace. It feels good to hug her like he used to do. Reid and J.J. are next. Derek hugs them too. The last time he was here, it was strange to have contact with normal people who didn't expect sex from him. Mikael has fixed that part of his mind. It isn't entirely comfortable. But it's not uncomfortable either.

"We didn't know how long it would take you to get here after the Gallery was down." Hotch says. He's staring at Derek's face, obviously looking at the scars.

Derek works hard not to look down. He's a lion. He doesn't look down. That's one of the last things Mikael had said to him. "About this long, Sir."

Rossi's hand clasps Derek's shoulders. "We're glad you're home."

"Yeah, I'm... sorry about running."

Aaron shakes his head. "No, that wasn't just your fault. Did you get to where you wanted to be?"

No, Derek hadn't gotten back to Antoine. But things had worked out in the end... until now. "Yes, Sir."

"We can get you a new place or David has offered to let you stay with him for awhile." Hotch says.

David smiles. "All the Vino and Italian food you can stand. How about it?"

"He's going to stay with me for awhile." Jesse says.

Everyone looks at Jesse. Derek looks at everyone. "I just, I need someone who knows what I've been through. And I need you to hear me and understand that it's what I need, Sir."

For awhile, no one says anything. Finally Hotch nods. "I hear you, Derek. Agent Mendez, I owe you an apology for the last time we met." Aaron offers Jesse a hand.

Derek can see that Hotch is trying to get on the inside of what Derek needs by making things right with Jesse. Smart. Hotch is always so smart and quick.

Jesse takes that hand and shakes it. "I was in deep cover. You didn't know. I couldn't let you know. We're good Agent Hotchner."

"We'd like your address so we can visit Derek. Also, we'll want to put a detail outside of your house for awhile. We don't think anyone from the Gallery will be after you, but we'd like to make sure. Also, Carl Buford is still out there."

Jesse nods and moves over to the table with Hotch to offer up his address and phone number. Derek hears him telling Hotch that his boyfriend will be there a lot too. Derek's hands automatically clasp behind his back again.

"We'd like to see more of you this time." Reid says.

"You'll have Jesse's address, Sir."

"Maybe we can do dinner at my house some nights?" Rossi adds with another squeeze to Derek's shoulder.

Derek nods. "Can I bring Jesse, Sir?"

"You can bring anyone you want. We all know I always make too much food."

"Are you sure you'll be okay at his house?" J.J. asks quietly. "We can make other plans if you want us to."

"That's the best place I could be, Madame."

"We've missed you." Reid adds.

Penelope steps in close and hugs Derek again. Derek smirks and hugs back. "We already did this, Madame."

"I know. I know. But we have a few years to make up for." She pulls back and holds onto one of Derek's hands. "I have your lion." When Derek looks confused, she continues. "The stuffed lion I gave you the last time you were here? I know it's stupid but it was in the box of things you left behind when you made like a tree and leafed, and I just... I kept it. But I want you to have it. Is that okay?"

Derek nods. "It's not stupid, Madame. I want the lion."

"Good." Penelope smiles, looking relieved. "Good. I'll get it to you."

Hotch and Jesse come back over. Jesse takes one of Derek's hands and Penelope lets go of the one she'd been holding.

"I want you to try therapy again." Before Derek can protest, Hotch continues. "We've set up a safe house where those abducted by the Gallery are being held. We're looking for their families and there are a group of psychologists who are specially trained for the kind of trauma these people have been through. I think you should speak to one of them."

"The Mistress's harem, Sir?" Derek asks.

"You mentioned them the last time you were here but I'm not sure that any of these people are from the harem. They were in the catacombs and the labs, in large communal rooms waiting to be sold." Hotch says. "We're still cataloging names and finding their families. I can get you the photos we have so far and you can look through them."

Derek had gone straight from the labs to the harem. He'd never seen those communal rooms. "I'd like that, thank you. Did you get the Mistress, Sir?"

"Yes. We have her." Hotch nods. "We have all the heads of the Gallery houses around the world that we know about. She might have done something with the harem before we got to her or to them. She's still being questioned and she isn't being very forthcoming."

The harem isn't here. Where are they?

"I'll keep you informed if we find them. Will you start seeing one of the psychologists I told you about?"

Derek looks to Jesse who nods slightly. Derek nods. "Yes, Sir."

"I'll set it up. Agent Mendez gave me his new phone number so I can reach you." Hotch pauses, glances at Jesse, back to Derek. "May I speak to you to the side for a minute?"

Again, Derek glances at Jesse who lets go of his hand and nods. Derek moves over by the windows with Hotch, his hands clasped behind his back again.

"You don't have to stay with him if you don't want to." Aaron says quietly. "You have options."

"I know. I want to be with him, Sir. He understands me."

Hotch glances at Jesse, then lowers his voice even more. "Who cut your face like that?"

"Not Jesse, Sir. Jesse keeps me safe." The words slip easily from his tongue. Derek is surprised to find that a part of him really still believes that Jesse will guard him and keep him safe. "Carl did this to me. He wanted me dead."

_Ugly whore._

"Why would he want you dead? He wanted to keep you for himself."

"If he can't have me, no one can, Sir."

"He's evolved." Hotch nods, thinking for a long moment. "Do you need a doctor for anything?"

"No, Sir. I've been taken care of."

"You'll have a detail on you before you leave the building." Derek nods, and then Hotch continues. "I should have been more hands-on last time. I was too busy working to make sure the people who hurt you were put away and I didn't really see you or hear you."

"It's okay, Sir." Derek says. "I'm okay."

"I'll do better this time if you'll let me."

Derek smirks and looks over to the others in the room, people who were his friends, people who are still trying to be his friends in spite of everything.

He nods. "Yeah, I'll let you, Sir." It's the first time in a long time that Derek has been asked permission for something. He isn't sure if he's responded to it correctly. He isn't sure how he feels about it yet. The world hasn't imploded, so maybe he did okay.

 

* * *

 

It takes more than twenty-four hours for the bureau to complete their questioning of both Derek and Jesse. Derek is in fact at the bureau for over forty-eight hours. He makes himself drink the water they bring and eat the vending machine sandwiches they bring all by himself because he worries that they'll put him back in a psychiatric facility if they don't think he can do these things.

Feeding himself is no easy task. It goes against everything that's been ingrained in him for the past two years and some change to feed himself without his Master's express permission. He fights through it anyway.

When they ask about his collar, Derek says that it's his. He never mentions Mikael. He never mentions Zane. He only talks about Nick, or now, as he knows him, Jesse. He talks about the Gallery and about Antoine. He never says that Antoine is dead. He skillfully lets them think he's alive and that Antoine is who he's referring to when he speaks of his Master. Derek used to know how to spin words in his favor in an interrogation. He finds that it's similar from the other side of the table. He finds that it comes back to him easily and quickly.

Mikael had reminded him how powerful words can be. Derek remembers that now. He uses his words.

There's only one time, while they're talking about the Gallery, the Catacombs, to be exact, that Derek feels that things are too intense, too much. This is the only time he slips to his knees and asks if he can please the Agents sitting across from him. They back off and coax him back up into his seat. Derek is proud that this only happens once. It could have been worse. It _has_ been worse.

Derek thinks Zane must be going crazy back at Jesse's house by the time they release him. Jesse is in the common area and stands when he sees Derek exit the interview room. Hotch is sitting with him.

"That was a long time." Hotch says. "Are you okay?"

Derek looks at Jesse and nods. "I'm okay, Sir."

Jesse smiles. He looks proud of Derek, like Nick would have looked proud of Derek. Jesse texts someone on his phone, presumably Zane.

"Security will be following you home." Hotch and Jesse shake hands again as Jesse offers a 'thanks'. Then Hotch looks to Derek. "I'll call you later on his phone."

"Yes, Sir."

There's a hesitation here before Hotch makes himself walk away. Jesse and Derek start for the parking garage. Derek is quiet. Jesse reaches for one of his hands where they're clasped behind his back and Derek lets him take it.

"Are you really okay, Derek?"

"It was a lot, Sir. I'm tired." His throat closes, almost chokes on the next words. "I want Mikael." He draws in a shaky breath and wills himself not to cry, not here, not now.

"I know." Just outside the doors to the parking garage, Jesse pauses and wraps both arms tightly around Derek. He holds on for a long time. Derek eventually holds onto Jesse too. Somehow, Derek keeps himself from crying. Somehow.

"I'm sorry." Jesse whispers.

Derek can't bring himself to say it's okay or that he forgives him right now because he needs his Master so badly and his Master isn't here. Mikael isn't here because of Jesse. Or at least that's where Derek's blame goes when he's missing Mikael this badly.

When the embrace finally parts ways, Jesse takes Derek's hand again and they start walking. At his bike, Jesse looks over to Derek. "You haven't asked about Zane."

"I assume he's pretty pissed off right now, Sir." Derek says.

Jesse smirks and nods, offering Derek his helmet. His look turns momentarily wistful. "Well, he knows we're on our way now. But I don't think he'll ever stop calling me Dick."

After his helmet is secured, Derek slides onto the bike behind Jesse and wraps his arms around his waist. "Give him time, Sir."

Jesse's answer is the rev of the engine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

They pull into the drive in front of Jesse's house. A push of the button opens the garage and Jesse takes the bike in. Derek slides off the back and removes his helmet as Jesse does the same. Then Jesse's fingers grab Derek's chin and their lips meet. Jesse's kiss is quick and desperate. 

Derek kisses him back because he knows he's supposed to. Maybe he's surprised enough not to think about it. Maybe the recent days have been long and taxing and a mindless kiss feels good. Maybe Derek just needs to be kissed, needs to be fucked. Maybe kissing Jesse is as easy as kissing Nick had once been.

The door to the garage from the house slams open and Jesse quickly turns away, hanging the helmets on the handlebars of the bike as if nothing had just happened.

Derek looks from Jesse to Zane. Zane, who's worriedly and possessively looking Derek over as if he'd expected to find him harmed in some way while he was in Jesse's and the government's care.

Zane's eyes send daggers at Jesse. "About time, Dick." Then he's over by Derek, getting a closer look, wrapping his arms around him in a hug, pulling back and looking him over again. "You okay? Tell me you're okay. That took too damn long."

"Yeah. I'm okay, Sir." But Derek's hands are unconsciously clawing at the tee he's wearing. He's shifting uncomfortably. Derek needs these clothes off. Derek needs to kneel on the floor. Derek needs to feel right in his own skin again. Yes, today had been long and taxing. "Please, Sir."

"Heel." The word sounds different from Zane's lips. But Derek embraces the familiarity of it. Zane leads him inside to the living room where he starts to undress Derek.

Jesse has followed them inside and stands off to the side, hands shoved into his jeans pockets as if he wants to help but Zane won't let him near either of them. "I think he did okay. There's gonna be a security detail out front. They've been told you're my boyfriend. They're making sure Carl Buford and any remnants of the Gallery can't get to us."

"Well isn't that peachy." Zane says, tossing the clothes Derek had been wearing at Jesse. "I'm kind of an occasional criminal, and here I am _literally_ surrounded by feds. I feel safe as houses."

Naked now, Derek slips down to his knees and looks down at the floor. He needs a minute. Just a minute. Derek doesn't get his minute.

"I checked your record."

Both Zane and Derek look at Jesse, startled by the confession. "You did a background check on me? Today?" Zane asks.

"Yeah."

"Find what you were looking for, Dick?"

"It's clean except for some burglary charges when you were a teenager and one DUI."

There's a pregnant pause as Zane looks stunned at Jesse. "How'd you swing that?"

"I'm a fed." Jesse says plainly.

Derek knows the implications here. Jesse has been in Zane's files and made a few changes. Once again, he's conflicted. As wrong as it is, it's also good. If any of the BAU team plan to follow through and be present in Derek's life while he's here, there will be background checks, especially on Zane.

"How safe do you feel now?" Jesse asks.

"Safe as fucking houses, Dick."

 

* * *

 

Jesse goes out to the grocery store, leaving Derek with Zane. Derek has curled up on the floor and slept for about two hours. He'd needed to shut his mind off. He'd needed that blessed nothingness after more activity with people on the outside of where he's been than he's had in such a long time. Even two hours does wonders for him.

When he wakes, he's lying with his head in Zane's lap. Zane's fingers run lightly over Derek's skin as Mikael's sometimes do. Derek keeps his eyes closed and imagines he can smell cloves, imagines those fingers are Mikael's. Maybe that's not fair to Zane. But Derek can't help himself.

"I know you're awake, beautiful." Zane says. "You ready to talk about those forty-eight hours?"

Derek doesn't know if he's ready, but he will make himself ready for Zane. "May I have a clove, Sir?"

"Only if you talk."

"I'll talk, Sir." Derek pushes himself up to sit. Yes, he knows Zane would let him have a clove either way. He'll talk for Zane though. Zane is Mikael's voice when Mikael isn't here.

It's as if his guard has known this was coming. Everything he needs is right there. A glass even sits on the table for ashes. Zane grabs the cloves from the coffee table, lights one, and hands it over to Derek. Then one of Zane's arms wraps around Derek's shoulders, pulling him in close to his side.

Derek inhales one deep drag for his Master and then lets the cigarette burn. He breathes in the spiced aroma. "It was hard, Sir. Being there and seeing them, people from my past. They still care about me. Something's different."

"What's different?"

"Last time I was here, they still looked like they wanted to fix me. They weren't sure what to think of me." Derek pauses. "This time it didn't feel that way, Sir. Maybe it's me who's different."

"It's been awhile. Maybe everyone's changed. I mean, we once had a Nick, now we don't."

"I'm sorry he hurt you, Sir."

"He hurt you too. He hurt all of us."

"I think he hurt you the most."

Zane shakes his head and silence falls between them until Zane continues. "What else? They questioned you for a long time. Longer than they did Jesse. He kept texting me updates."

"And you kept calling him Dick, Sir?"

"What else?"

"I made them think Antoine is still alive. I made them think he was still my Master. They still have no idea who Antoine is. And they never heard the name Mikael or Zane from me." Derek pulls air through the filter of the cigarette to keep it lit and exhales the smoke. "I miss Mikael."

"I know."

"I want Mikael."

"I know."

"I need him, Sir."

"Yeah, I know."

"I choose him."

"He chooses you too."

And then comes Derek's greatest confession of the days events. "I had a moment today where I didn't feel like I was his, where I wasn't sure about it."

"What happened?" Zane asks. "Tell me."

"Someone from Jesse's department called me Agent Morgan." It's ridiculous now that he thinks about it. He's on the floor, naked, with a collar around his neck. He's not with the FBI anymore, right? And yet the minute someone called him Agent Morgan, something in him had... shifted. "I don't know what happened, but it felt weird." Thankfully it went away after a few moments. Derek is no less guilty over it. He wants Mikael.

Zane massages the back of Derek's neck, rubs a hand over his shoulders. "It's okay. No matter how you look at it going in there was always gonna be hard. Don't think too much about it. You're with me now. Mikael will eventually be with us or we'll go to him."

Derek nods, bringing the clove to life again.

"Hey. Look at me."

Derek looks at Zane.

"Mikael and me, we love you."

"I love you too, Sir."

"Plus, us three, we still have the same names we started with." Zane jokes.

It's the perfect thing to say in that moment. It makes Derek smile and laugh. Zane laughs too. After a moment though, Derek shakes his head. "I couldn't have made it through today without Jesse, Sir."

"Yeah, like Mikael says. We'll use him until he's no longer useful."

The keys sound in the front door and Jesse comes in with his arms full of grocery bags. "There's more in the car if you wanna help, Zane."

"Why would I wanna help you?"

Jesse shakes his head. "Whatever." He takes the bags into the kitchen and heads back out.

"May I help put groceries away, Sir?"

Zane grumbles. "You're making me look bad. You don't do any work. I'll go help Dick."

Derek brings his clove to life one more time, exhales the smoke, then sets the butt in the glass on the coffee table. He smiles to himself. That's exactly the response he'd known he'd get from Zane.

Together his guards bring groceries inside and put them away. Derek watches them dance around each other in the kitchen, careful to maintain a safe distance, Zane glaring at Jesse any time they actually touch, Jesse looking longingly at Zane when he isn't looking.

Zane definitely got hurt the most by Jesse's secret. Derek briefly reaches up to touch his collar, then shakes his head and clasps his hands behind his back. His Master will come for him.

Jesse makes fajitas that night. He makes sure to cut some of the fixings up into tiny pieces for Zane to feed to Derek. They all sit around the coffee table, Derek kneeling.

"You really can cook." Zane says. "At least that much wasn't a lie."

"I got stuff to cook for us every night this week. I don't mind going back to the store for more." Jesse looks up between Derek and Zane. "I actually like cooking."

"What if we want pizza?"

"We'll order pizza."

"What if we want greasy burgers?"

"We'll go get greasy burgers."

"Nah, this is good." Zane says.

Jesse looks at Zane, waiting for the punch line. There doesn't seem to be one. "Thanks."

After they eat, Jesse turns on some music to help with the silence that keeps creeping up between Zane and him. Derek can tell that Zane's lack of chatter is getting to Jesse.

Zane is watching Jesse in the kitchen. Derek turns in to face Zane and nuzzles his face at his crotch. "I could please you, Sir."

"Yeah, I know you could." Zane's attention is on Derek again.

Derek glances into the kitchen at Jesse. "I could please him too, Sir."

Zane follows Derek's gaze. "Like I'd make you do that..."

"He was good to me today, Sir. He was good _for_ me. I was on the floor in public, embarrassed, and he picked me back up and acted like it was nothing even though he had to have been embarrassed to be with me."

"Fuck no. No one's embarrassed to be with you, beautiful." Zane reaches out to pet at the side of Derek's face. "Hey, Dick! If you were embarrassed by Derek today you're even more of an asshole than I thought."

"What?" Jesse calls.

Well, this isn't exactly the way Derek has planned it to go, but at least they're talking.

Jesse looks at them over the kitchen counter, drying his hands on a dish towel. "I wasn't embarrassed."

"You weren't embarrassed to be seen with Derek around the people from your real life?"

"No." Jesse answers simply. "And this right here, right now, this is real life too."

"Even when he was on the floor?" Zane prods. "In public?"

Jesse looks at Derek, setting the towel down and coming into the kitchen. He shakes his head, looking back to Zane. "Not even then." To Derek again, "Did you think I was embarrassed by you?"

"I was just telling Zane how you were good to me today, Sir. When you found me on the floor."

Jesse shakes his head. "What did you expect me to do?"

"Give me a break. Like we know what you're actually capable of." Zane says. "You're a fucking liar!"

"I lied because I had to. I also helped you. I'm still me, Zane." Jesse steps closer and Zane reaches for his gun. "You know me. You both _know_ me."

"You're a fed, Jesse." Zane says. "Your real life doesn't mix with mine, with ours."

"You don't even want to try?"

"What's there to try?"

Jesse does his best not to look heartbroken. He doesn't completely accomplish it though. Derek sees it. "Nothing, I guess."

"That's not true, Sir." Derek says. He realizes that he's just disagreed with one of his guards, but Mikael gave him his voice for a reason. Jesse and Zane will tell him if he's wrong or needs to stop just like Mikael would if he were here. "There's something."

"Define 'something'." Zane says.

"When I was in the labs, you were there for me. More so than you were for other pets you'd looked after. Right, Sir?"

Jesse nods. "Yes."

"That's something. When we wrecked after Antoine sent me away, you were crawling through the wreckage to me even though your leg was injured. I remember that, Sir."

Again, Jesse nods.

"That's something. The FBI sent you back to the Gallery. But the Mistress sent you with me. The FBI would've rather you be in the Gallery. You wanted to be with me."

Yes, Jesse nods.

"That's something. And then you met Zane and you fell for him."

"I never knew you could love more than one person like that." Jesse loves Derek. Jesse loves Zane. Jesse shakes his head and starts pacing his living room. "I mean you never shut up, Zane. You talk about the stupidest shit and I never know whether to roll my eyes at you or laugh."

"Both are acceptable." Zane mutters.

"Do you have any idea what it took for me to tell Mikael what was going on so he had time to do what he needed to do? It goes against every ounce of training I've ever had. It could've destroyed years of me living this shitty life in the Gallery undercover. It could've destroyed my career! It could still destroy my career!" Jesse says. "I did that for you! For both of you. And then today I'm altering FBI files with your name on them, Zane, cleaning them up."

Jesse pauses his pacing and looks and them both. "I don't blame you. I've got trust issues too. I would be pissed at me too. But..."

"That's something." Derek says, glancing back at Zane. "Isn't it, Sir?"

Zane's hand idly twists a few of Derek's braids. "I'm not okay with the lies. I got Mikael, my friend since forever, to trust you."

"I know." Jesse says. "And I'm sorry."

"I told you things."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I trusted you."

"I'm sorry."

Through this exchange, Jesse has moved closer to the couch. Zane's grip on his gun has loosened. Jesse kneels by Derek on the floor in front of Zane.

"You don't have to trust me, Zane. Neither do you, Derek." Jesse says. "Not yet anyway. I'll wait for you, both of you. I'll wait."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

A week passes. The first week is easy. After that initial confrontation Derek has prompted between Jesse and Zane, they've started talking more. Derek enjoys listening to them, watching them dance around each other both of them without getting too close for comfort.

Derek learns that Zane's parents were never all that interested in him. Mikael's family had taken Zane in to their own. Mikael and Antoine had always considered Zane one of the family. He learns that Jesse has two sisters just like he had once had. Neither Jesse or Derek are ready to see their respective families.

He learns that Jesse is ex military, which is something Derek has suspected. Jesse starts teaching Zane how to cook which is always entertaining to watch. Derek learns that Jesse has always been bi-sexual although he'd never acted on it until the assignment in the Gallery. There was something liberating in being able to be who he was in that respect even while he wasn't exactly living the truth. He learns that Zane is the same, he's always been with whoever the hell he wanted to be with.

Derek doesn't want to talk about what he is or isn't. He has no idea, truthfully. When he thinks about the man he used to be and the man he is now everything gets too confusing for him to handle right now. He needs things to be as easy as possible until he has Mikael to lean on again.

Sometimes Zane snaps at Jesse for no good reason. Sometimes Zane withdraws back away from him. Sometimes it seems like Zane is taking another step closer to Jesse again. Jesse takes whatever Zane gives him with ease, just glad that Zane is talking at all. Sometimes Derek feels very much on the outside of whatever is happening or needs to happen between those two.

Jesse makes Zane and Derek take his bed while he takes the couch. Derek feels bad about this and tells Zane so. Zane brushes it off. Zane finally fucks Derek. Zane lets Derek suck his cock. Zane touches, bathes, grooms and feeds Derek. Jesse watches a lot of it from afar. By the end of the first week, Derek is beginning to suspect that Zane is doing it on purpose to make Jesse pay, to make Jesse jealous, to make sure Jesse knows what he's not having.

Hotch, Reid and Penelope come by twice. Both times Zane dresses Derek in Jesse's clothes. The first time is tense. Hotch is trying to get a look at the place without being too obvious about it. He's trying to profile Zane. Zane and Jesse have to pretend to be a couple before they're ready for it. Penelope brings Derek his plush lion. Reid, Penelope and Derek talk while Zane yammers on about motorcycles and how lame some of them are. Not Jesse's bike though. Jesse's bike is bad ass.

The second time they come over, they bring J.J. too. The group of them sit around and talk. Derek is once again in Jesse's clothes. He kneels on the floor and Reid sits down on the floor with him like it isn't a big deal that Derek is kneeling with his hands clasped behind his back. Hotch has brought Derek a book of photos of those liberated from the Gallery. Derek flips all the way through them. None of them look familiar. None of them are from the Mistress's harem. 

Again, Jesse and Zane pretend to be together. Derek thinks they're both excellent actors, or that there's a little bit of truth to help the lie seem as solid as it does.

The second week starts to get harder. There's been no word from Mikael. For some reason Derek is having trouble finding his voice. Both Jesse and Nick seem to notice it by the next weekend. Or maybe they've noticed it and have finally decided to do something about it. They start prompting him to talk more often.

Derek doesn't want to talk. He wants to wait in a cone of silence for Mikael to come get him. He needs his Master.

"I wish I could go get my dog." Jesse says. "But he's with my parents and I'm not even sure he would remember me. Did you ever have a dog, Derek?"

"Yes Sir. Clooney."

"Named after the one and only George?" Zane asks. "I mean, no judgement. George is a salt and pepper fox these days."

"Yes, Sir. My sisters named him."

"Your sisters have good taste." Zane is messing with Derek's braids. Jesse is sitting away from them on the opposite end of the couch.

"I only have one now." Derek hates how depressed his voice sounds. He's surprised to find that he really, truly is depressed. This is the first time in a long while where he's had to just kneel, where he has too much time to think, to get lost in his own mind.

What if Mikael can't come for him and help him keep his mind where it should be?

_We're okay._

 

* * *

 

The third week Derek starts therapy with the federal appointed psychologist that Hotch picked out. It's a man. Derek is more comfortable with men lately and he's told Hotch so. He's a man who's older than Derek but not too old, probably about the same age as Mikael. He has olive skin and dark hair that he puts back in one of those man buns men are wearing these days. He also has a pretty substantial beard and mustache.

Jesse and Zane have brought Derek to his first appointment together. They're waiting together out in the waiting room.

Derek automatically kneels on the floor. His mind is so withdrawn that it doesn't even occur to him to try to sit in chairs like normal people do.

"Derek Morgan." The man nods at Derek without any judgement in his eyes and takes a seat in one of the chairs. "I'm Doctor Cohen. Gray Cohen. Most people just call me Gray and I'd like you to feel free to do the same."

Derek says nothing.

"I'm not going to lie to you. You have a bigger file than any of the people I've worked with, probably because of your FBI background, and I've looked through it. All of it. Extensively. I know a lot about you." Gray says. "But you're more than a file. You're more than words on a page or any video of what you've been through or any of your own testimonies. I'd like to get to know you. I'd like you to get to know me."

Derek says nothing.

"First, I want to tell you that I have knowledge of the world you were forced into. My father was deep into the Gallery before he passed away... or was killed, I can't really decide which version is the truth. My mom fled with me and my younger sister once he was gone."

This man has a direct connection with the Gallery. No wonder Hotch chose him.

"I'm now married to a woman who is also my sub."

Derek looks up at Gray. This man has a sub? They're married?

"There's a lot going on in your mind. Is there anything you'd like to say?"

Derek shakes his head. "No, Sir."

Something clicks in Gray's hand, bringing Derek's attention there. Gray nods and continues. "We've been married for four years. Let me just say that after the things I'd seen as a child, I was never sure how to get what I knew I wanted in the right way. I got into the lifestyle. Made a mess of it. Finally found the right dom and he trained me, taught me. Then I met Karen. The rest is history."

Derek says nothing.

"I tell you all of this because I want you to know that anything you say to me will be confidential and will be understood in a way that most others couldn't understand even if they tried." Gray says. "You've been to hell and back, maybe more than once, maybe you're in a whole new kind of hell. I want to try to help you with that."

Again, Derek is silent and Grey nods at him, looking down to the collar at his neck. "Your collar is very nice. Tell me about it."

Tell him about it? "It's gold, with black gems."

"Does the gold mean anything to you? The gems? Is it just something that was put around your neck and you accepted it without question?"

"My Master likes how the gold looks against my skin."

Another click sounds. "Your Master has good taste."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Is your Master one of the men outside in the waiting room?"

"No, Sir."

"Is he with the Gallery?"

"No, Sir."

"But he isn't with you right now."

Derek realizes now that he's on a slippery slope of saying too much that might get Mikael in trouble. He presses his lips together and looks down to the floor. He needs to shut up.

"Alright. We'll get back to that eventually." Gray says. "Who are the two men sitting outside in the waiting room?"

"Agent Mendez and his boyfriend."

"Agent Mendez was deep cover in the Gallery?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You formed a connection with him?"

"Yes, Sir. He keeps me safe."

Derek hears another click as Gray answers him. "I think you keep yourself safe. Why are you looking down now, Derek?"

_You're a lion. You're my lion. You don't look down. You're strong. You're not a fragile thing, my darling. You are neither mindless or brainless. You never have been even when you've been at your lowest. You have a voice and a brilliant mind. Use both of them._

Mikael's words echo in his mind and Derek lifts his head again, looking at Doctor Gray Cohen. "I'm tired, Sir."

Something clicks in Gray's hand. "Of course you are. I'm surprised you're still up and walking and talking after everything you've been through. There aren't even a handful of the people recovered from the Gallery who will look up and speak more than a few words."

"I need my Master, Sir."

Something clicks in Gray's hand. "Was he good to you?"

"Yes, Sir."

"He never hurt you?"

Mikael had hurt Derek, with Katherine. But Derek doesn't say that. It isn't what Gray means, he doesn't think. Mikael had never physically hurt him. "No, Sir."

"Not even with whips or chains or paddles or anything like that?"

"No, Sir."

"He never played head games with you?"

Derek stumbles over that question, eyes narrowing at Doctor Cohen. Did Mikael play head games with him? Maybe a few. With his collar, with the drugs he'd used while Derek was hung at the edge of the bed. "He gave me my voice back, Sir."

A click sounds from something in Gray's hand. "You had lost your voice."

"Yes, Sir. Before, in the Gallery." After Antoine. "And maybe before that too."

Another click. "It probably happened a few times."

"Yes, Sir."

"I'm glad he gave you your voice back. What else did he do for you?"

"He took care of me, Sir. In every way. He loved... loves me, even though I'm this." Derek's eyes have filled with tears. His throat is starting to feel tight.

The click sound brings Derek's attention back to Gray's hand. "What do you mean by that? Even though you're what?"

"What they made me. What I am..."

Another click. "What are you?"

_I'm Mikael's._

"I'm a freak." Derek isn't sure which one of those is right, which one of those holds more weight than the other in this moment. He's confused. He feels a tear slip down his cheek.

There's a clicking sound. Derek blinks and looks back up to Gray.

"Can you define 'freak'?"

Derek's eyes narrow. "Look at me." What else is there to say? The evidence is right there in front of him.

"Do you mind if I tell you what I see?"

Derek says nothing.

"The kol tattoo around your eyes is sexy. The piercings are beautiful. The scars are noticeable. They don't take away from your persona though and let me tell you why." The click sounds again as Gray leans forward. "I see a man who's been through several different horrors and can still glare at me when he gets annoyed with what I'm saying. I see a man who is fighting, struggling, scratching and clawing if he has to, to survive in whatever way he can. Scars are nothing when compared to the man as a whole."

Another click that's barely noticeable as it's become a part of the conversation. "What is a 'freak', Derek?"

Derek thinks about it. Doctor Cohen has decimated the definition he would have given moments before. "I don't know, Sir."

"I want you to try to quit thinking of yourself that way." Gray says, accompanied by another clicking sound that might as well have been an applause for Derek's answer. "You're a survivor. You're strong. You're different than you were, but you're strong and a part of you survived. You're a survivor, Derek. Say it."

_I think you keep yourself safe._

"I'm a survivor." Derek whispers.

The clicking device celebrates his answer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

"You said I wasn't a freak, Sir." It's Derek's third session with Doctor Gray Cohen. While Derek has been hesitant with the man, he thinks he likes him. Gray doesn't make him talk about things he doesn't want to talk about or isn't ready to talk about. Doctor Cohen will shift from subject to subject as easily as Derek's mind shifts from one way of thinking to another these days.

He's now on week four without Mikael, five if you count the time in the airplane to Florida and their road trip. He misses Mikael so much that he could drown in nothing but the memories he has.

"I did say that. And it's true."

"But it isn't all just the physical, Sir. What you described was physical."

As Gray nods the clicking sound can be heard. "You told me to look at you. That implies the physical. Are you ready to go beyond the physical, Derek?"

Oh. Derek has no idea if he's ready for that or not. He looks away at some of the artwork on the walls, some impressionist painting that's all chaos and no sense.

"You feel freakish on the inside."

Derek shrugs, staring hard at the painting.

Gray glances over to the painting, back to Derek. "What do you see there? In the painting."

"Chaos, Sir."

Click. "There's a reason that that's what you see. What do you think that reason is?"

Derek stares at the painting. He sees chaos because he feels chaotic. That's what he thinks Gray is getting at. Gray isn't wrong.

Click. "Derek?

Click. Click. Derek finally looks back toward the click, toward Doctor Gray.

"Do you feel chaotic?"

"I feel like a mess, Sir."

Click. "How so?"

"In my head. My body. Everywhere and everything inside is a mess, Sir."

"Tell me why your body is a mess."

"It needs sex, sir."

Click. "You need sex. Needing sex isn't bad. The problem comes in thinking it's the only thing you need. Is sex the only thing you need, Derek?"

He needs sex. He needs Mikael. He needs Zane and Jesse to get along. He needs conversation and intellectual stimulation. He needs to work out. He needs music. He needs to figure out how to exist right now without being a basket case in his mind. Nothing is easy anymore. He needs something to be easy.

"No, Sir." Derek almost leaves it at that, but he continues. "I've been where I thought sex was the only thing before. I don't think that now."

A clicking sound, then Gray asks, "What changed?"

"My Master." Derek says. "He didn't want me to be a mindless, brainless thing."

"So he stimulated your mind." Click.

"Yes, Sir."

"Needing sex doesn't make you a freak. Sex is a great thing. It's a beautiful thing." Gray says. "I know how the Gallery operates. They do these enhancements and then use them against you to turn you into a person whose sole purpose is pleasure and sex. You're so much more than that though. It sounds like your Master knew that you were more than that too. So where is he?"

Derek says nothing that might betray Mikael.

Gray slides a notebook across the coffee table. It's open to a blank page. On that notebook is a pen. "I want you to make a list of things you used to enjoy, things you used to be good at, things that aren't sex."

It's so simple a task. But it's also been so long since Derek has held a pen or written anything that he stares at it for a long time. Gray waits him out. Derek unclasps his hands from his back and works on his list. As he's writing, Doctor Cohen occasionally clicks the device in his hand. It gets easier as he goes. Derek fills up a whole page and a half with things the old him liked doing and did well.

 

* * *

 

That night Zane and Jesse are in the kitchen cooking. Derek is kneeling on the floor in the living room. Only when things get quiet and still does Derek look over to see the two men kissing. He stares at them. Zane has Jesse pinned against one of the kitchen counters. They're touching and groping at one another as if they need to touch everywhere and can't do it soon enough.

Derek looks up at a photograph of Jesse's family on one of the shelves. An American flag is folded in a glass case. Medals are displayed in a shadowbox as well. There's a miniature figurine of a Harley Davidson bike.

He hears clothes shuffling behind him, falling to the floor. He hears laughter, soft murmurs, more kissing. He hears Zane call Jesse 'Dick' and Jesse calls Zane an asshole.

When Derek looks back over to the kitchen, he knows they're on the floor having sex even if he can't see them because of the counters of the bar blocking his view. He can hear it. He knows what it sounds like all grunts and cries and skin slapping against skin. A softly murmured 'yes' and 'harder' and 'faster, Zane, ah fuck'. 

He wishes he were a part of it. He knows they need this for themselves though. And most importantly, he isn't invited.

 

* * *

 

Derek is standing in Jesse's bathroom staring at himself in the mirror. The faint sounds of Zane and Jesse fucking in the kitchen can still be heard. He's looking at his reflection hard, not letting himself look away, not letting himself get lost in just one aspect of himself. He's looking at his entire self, the whole picture.

It's still his body, broad shouldered and muscled. It's still his face in spite of the kol, scars and piercings. His eyes stare back at him. Those are no one else's eyes. Just his. There's fire in those eyes.

He is not a freak. He's a survivor.

Derek looks down to the electric razor on the counter. He hesitates. He looks back to the hallway. Then he picks it up and switches it on. He starts shaving the sides of his head to perfect his mane of braids. He does one side, shaving all the extra hair away. As he's working on the second side though, something happens. He can't stop. He lifts the braids up and pushes the razor through their roots at his head. They snap away.

He does more.

And more.

Somewhere along the way he started crying. They're angry tears. He reaches to the back of his head and pulls the braids, frantically slides the razor through the roots or at least close to them. They break away.

"What are you doing? Derek, what are you doing?" Zane is in the bathroom with him, naked, twisting the razor out of his hand. He turns it off. "Fuck."

Jesse is pulling his jeans up over his briefs as he enters the bathroom behind Zane. Jesse looks at the braids and hair on the floor, up to Derek. He puts a hand on Derek's arm. "You're okay, Derek. You're okay." He looks to Zane. "It's okay. It's just hair. We can fix it."

Derek continues to stare at himself in the mirror without even acknowledging the other two men. His hair is a mess now, half shaved, half not, roots of braids sticking up here and there.

"Derek sit on the edge of the tub." Jesse says.

Zane shakes his head, staring at Derek's reflection. "Mikael is gonna kill me."

"No he won't." Jesse says. "Give me the razor." He takes the razor and repeats his words to Derek. "Derek, sit on the edge of the tub."

Derek doesn't immediately do as he's told. He looks to Jesse's reflection in the mirror. Jesse looks back and waits, arching an expectant brow. Finally Derek sits on the edge of the tub. Jesse starts to run the razor over Derek's head, shaving away the mess left behind. Derek stares straight ahead. Zane paces back and forth in the small space.

When all is said and done, Derek has a cleanly shaved head and at least one of his guards is disappointed in him. Jesse tells Zane that it'll grow back, it's just hair. Zane looks pissed off at Derek and unsure of what to do about it. Jesse keeps telling Derek that he's okay.

Derek _is_ okay. He's a survivor.

Jesse sleeps with him and Zane that night. Derek is nestled in between his two guards. He likes it here with them.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Derek is the first one awake. Zane is at his back. Jesse is at his front. He's sandwiched between them, warm and secure.

He remembers the night before and has a moment of pure panic over what he'd done. It could be a very bad thing. It's the first decision he's made for himself in a long time. No prompting, no coercion, no manipulation. The decision was his own.

The panic subsides. The lion presides.

This is the closest he's been to Jesse since their first day back here, at Quantico and then in the garage here at Jesse's house. His hand slides down Jesse's side. He shouldn't touch. He didn't ask permission to touch. Derek is touching anyway. He grips Jesse's cock and strokes it a few times.

Jesse opens his eyes. He reaches down and rests his hand over Derek's, stilling the touch. "You didn't ask permission." Jesse whispers.

Derek says nothing. He gets the feeling that that statement is about more than his hand around Jesse's cock.

Jesse lets go of Derek's hand and reaches up to cup his cheek. "Whatever this is, whatever's going on in your head space, it's okay. You still have to ask permission though. You're still Mikael's and we're still taking care of you."

For a long while Derek is silent. He feels Zane's hand at his hip indicating that the other man is awake. Jesse is still holding his gaze. Derek stares back.

Finally, "May I please you, Sir?"

"Not like that. Mikael wouldn't want you to talk like that and you know it." Jesse says. "What do you want, Derek?"

"I wanna suck your cock, Sir."

"Ask Zane if you can suck my cock."

Derek's jaw flexes. A part of him, the part of him that had shaved his head last night and taken too long to do as he was told wants to take what he wants without asking. Another part of him wants to do what he's been told. He has no idea how to make those two sides meet in the middle.

"Zane? May I suck Jesse's cock, Sir?" He asks.

Jesse looks at Zane over Derek's shoulder. They share a silent conversation that Derek isn't privy to. Then Zane tells him to lie back crossways on the bed. Jesse slides off the bed and helps Derek shift so he's lying crossways.

"Hips up."

Derek pushes his hips up and Zane slides pillows beneath them even as Jesse pulls his shoulders a bit to get the back of Derek's neck at the edge of the bed. Derek starts to lift his head and Jesse coaxes it to crane back. Then his dick is at Derek's lips. Derek's lips part and he takes him in an upside-down blow job.

His legs are folded up. The plug is pulled from his ass and Zane wastes no time pushing inside. Derek groans loudly around Jesse's cock in his mouth. His ass squeezes around the cock in his ass. It feels so good be filled up in this way. It's not Mikael, but it still feels so damn good.

Both men start fucking him, one in his ass and one in his mouth. Derek naturally breathes through his nose. It comes so easily to him now. He's good at this. He likes being good at this. He needs this.

_Needing sex isn't bad._

There's a moment where they're both balls deep into each hole, they're leaning over him kissing one another. Derek thinks it must be beautiful. He can see it in his mind's eye. They're beautiful. Mikael would think they were beautiful.

Then they continue to fuck him. He feels the spill in his mouth first. Jesse's cum slides down Derek's throat. Zane's soon fills his ass, warm and wet.

They both pull out of him and Derek waits for permission. His body wants. It needs. He can barely stay still with his need once he isn't being fucked anymore.

"Derek, you're beautiful. We love you to pieces. But because you forgot to ask permission, you don't have permission to do a damn thing." Zane says with a shake of his head. "I don't know what's up with you right now. But Jesse's right, you still need permission, for everything."

Jesse's hands slide over Derek's shaved head. Zane's fingers slide up over Derek's strained, leaking cock over the piercings there. Derek hadn't asked permission for any of these things, shaving his head or touching his guards.

This is his punishment.

He melts back into the bed and closes his eyes, taking deep breaths to try to keep himself from orgasm.

"Good lion." Jesse says.

Derek could almost imagine it was Mikael who had said it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

After both of his guards take care with his morning ritual, Derek spends that whole day kneeling on the floor and letting Zane and Jesse feed him and do everything for him. He doesn't try to do anything on his own. He asks for a clove at one point and Zane tells him no. This makes Derek teeter on the line between crying and lashing out. He stays quiet and waits.

"I can't believe you did this." Zane runs a hand over Derek's shaved head that evening, grimacing and shaking his head as if he's still trying to figure out a way to put it back together the way it was.

"I think it looks good." Jesse says.

Derek can't believe he did it either. He oscillates back and forth between being terrified of the possibility of Catacombs-type repercussions and being proud of himself for doing something, anything, that's entirely his own doing.

They're sitting on the couch. Derek is kneeling in front of them with his hands clasped behind his back. They'd just finished dinner and Jesse is hand feeding Derek dark chocolate whoppers from a box he'd bought at the store. The sweetness is delicious. Derek readily takes each offered piece.

"I didn't say it doesn't look good. Just... Mikael likes him with hair."

"It'll grow back."

"If it has to grow back out, Sirs" Derek says. "Can it be all of my hair, not just the middle?"

"That's your Master's choice, Derek." Zane says. "Not yours."

Derek falls quiet again, brow furrowed. He's frustrated. He's tired. He wants to fall back into nothingness and just exist without having to try either way.

Jesse seems to notice this because he reaches a hand out to tap his knuckle at Derek's chin and get his attention back to the present. "Hey... where are you going? We want you here. You wanna be here, don't you?"

There's no right answer to that question as far as Derek's concerned. Jesse and Zane look worriedly to one another when Derek doesn't answer.

Derek wants Mikael. Without his Master, he's a loose cannon. He can't figure out if being a loose cannon is good or bad.

 

* * *

 

"I like the hair cut." Click. Gray looks appraisingly at Derek and nods. "It suits you."

"I'm growing it back out, Sir." Derek says. "My Master likes it long."

Doctor Gray nods, tilts his head curiously. "You cut it yourself?"

"Yes, Sir."

"And then you felt bad about doing it because your Master prefers it long."

Did he feel bad for cutting his hair? No. Feeling bad about doing something questionable isn't the same as fearing the repercussions of your actions.

"Derek?" Click.

Derek looks back to Doctor Gray. "My Master isn't here."

"Makes things feel unsteady, doesn't it?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Do you feel like you did something wrong by cutting your hair?"

Derek has to think about that for a long while. He only answers when he hears the click again. "Maybe. I'm not sure."

"Why would it be wrong?"

"Because I'm supposed to ask permission, Sir."

Click. "To cut your hair?"

"Yes, Sir." Derek says. "I'm supposed to ask permission for everything."

"Your Master isn't here. Who are you supposed to ask?"

Oh. Derek is on that slippery slope again. Only this time he could get Zane and Jesse in trouble, not just Mikael. He doesn't want to do that. He loves Zane and Jesse.

Click.

Derek looks back to Gray. His eyes are hard, daring him to make him say anything more on the subject.

"I think your Master will understand, if he's a good Master."

"What do you mean, Sir?"

"I mean every Dom/sub relationship is different just like any other relationship." Gray's hand makes the clicking sound again. "But you've been without him for at least a month now. Any sub would loose his or her footing after that long without a Dom. And you have special circumstances on top of that; your abduction, the Gallery, who you were before and who you are now. Your worlds are colliding and you're caught in the middle of that. Any Master worth his weight will make allowances for all of these things."

Derek falls silent again, thinking about that. Gray allows him some time to absorb that before he clicks the thing in his hand to bring Derek back to him.

"You're in between worlds. You know that, right?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You need to know that there isn't just an either/or decision here. There's a middle ground if you want it." Click. "You just have to figure out what that middle ground is and decide to stand there, consequences be damned."

"I think I was there for a minute... that first day. I didn't understand what it was and it... scared me."

Click.

"Will you tell me what happened?"

Derek tells him about the moment when the Agent from Jesse's department had called him Agent Morgan and he'd felt disoriented and confused. Anytime Derek pauses in reliving that confusion, Gray clicks the device and Derek continues.

"I thought maybe my mind was fracturing again." He says.

"I want to talk about those fractures sometime." Click. "But first, I want to know if you want to work for the FBI again."

Does he? Derek isn't sure. He isn't sure he fits there anymore. He isn't sure his mind and heart are in it anymore. He just... doesn't know. Maybe he doesn't know his own mind and heart anymore.

Click.

"I don't know, Sir."

"It's okay not to know, Derek." Gray says with a nod. "That's perfectly okay."

 

* * *

 

Derek is kneeling naked on the floor a few days later. Zane has let him light a clove again. Derek has taken one drag of it and now is just enjoying the scent of it. His eyes are closed. He's imagining Mikael standing naked by the window, bathed in moonlight, enjoying his mid-night smoke. His Master is so handsome. His Master thinks he's beautiful.

Zane's hand smoothes back over the light fuzz on top of Derek's head. Jesse is in the garage working on his bike.

"I think that shrink is messing with you." Zane says. "He's confusing you."

Derek thinks everyone, since Carl had abducted him, has been messing with him. Tweaking him here and there until he's unrecognizable. Mikael had brought him back, but only as much as Mikael had wanted to bring him back, not enough for Derek to be in complete control of his own mind.

That's where his struggle is. Derek is slowly getting control of his own mind again. He doesn't want to let go of Mikael though. He wears Mikael's collar because he chose him. Or did Mikael coerce him into choosing him? Was it Derek's decision? Was it Derek's choice?

The lines are once again blurred.

There are some very basic truths though. Derek misses Antoine. Derek misses Mikael. Derek loves Mikael. He loves Zane and Jesse. He also wants control of his own mind.

"Say something, beautiful." Zane's hand rests on the back of Derek's neck over his collar.

"I like him, Sir." Derek says. "He doesn't make me betray any of you."

"What does that mean?"

"I mean when things get close to subjects he shouldn't know about and I don't answer, he changes the subject. He doesn't push for more information than what I'm willing to talk about."

"I guess that's something, huh?"

"That's something, Sir."

The side door to the garage opens and Jesse comes in with a box. "Hey, this was on the back porch."

Zane stands up and takes it. He pulls a knife from his pocket and slides it through the tape holding the box closed. After a peek inside, he smirks and grins. He turns to Derek and sets the box on the coffee table beside him.

"Go ahead, Derek. It's for you."

His hands unclasp from behind his back and he reaches out to pull the flaps of the box back. Inside is an iPod, ear buds and an iTunes gift certificate for quite a substantial amount of money. Derek inhales a deep, quick breath pulling the iPod out of the box.

"Did you...?" He looks back and forth between Jesse and Zane.

"It's from your Master." Zane says, then he mutters to Jesse. "Would've been nice for him to contact us, or, you know, me."

Derek opens the box and pulls the iPod and chargers and such from the box. The iPod is gold. The ear buds are black. Engraved on the back of the iPod are these words in an elegant script:

`I absolutely adore you, you know. -M`

'M' could mean Mikael, it could be Master, it could be Mine. Derek doesn't care. This is for him from Mikael. It's _everything_ to him right now. It's a lifeline.

When Zane asks for the iPod so he can charge it, Derek has a hard time letting go of it. He doesn't say the word no, but his actions speak the word for him. He finally relinquishes it when Jesse says he can hold the gift card until the iPod is charged. It takes a few hours.

Once it's charged, Jesse opens his laptop and the three of them sit together while Derek picks out songs to put on it. It's a good time, Jesse and Zane laughing and joking about some of Derek's song choices. They recommend a few songs themselves and those go on there too.

As it's syncing, Jesse notices that some of the space on the iPod is already used up. Once it's done, he unplugs it and messes with it. "There's a playlist on here already."

"Let me see." Zane takes the iPod and looks at the playlist. "It's a playlist called 'Mine'." As he scrolls through it, Derek peeks back to get a look. Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin and Tchaikovsky, and many more. It's all classical works.

"Well," Zane says. "You got a lot of Mikael's favorite pieces too."

"Good." Derek has never been a fan of classical. He likes words that have meaning. But right now he's so thirsty for anything Mikael, he wants that music like he needs air to breathe.

"This is his favorite." Zane adds with a smirk. "The Planets by Gustav Holst. He used to play it all the time on repeat."

"Can you google it for me, Sir?" Derek asks Jesse. He wants to know everything about why Mikael loves this work.

Leaning in with a nod, Jesse types 'The Planets Holst' into the engine and pulls up a page so Derek can read about it. The ear buds go into his ears. He plays _The Planets_ and listens as he reads.

There are seven movements in Holst's _The Planets_ , each one of them conveying a different emotive picture in a person's mind. For example, Mars is the bringer of war, according to Holst. The music is violent, chaotic and angry. Vicariously, Venus is the bringer of peace, as Holst tells it. The music emotes peacefulness to perfection.

He understands why Mikael loves this work. Mikael loves emotions. Mikael doesn't want mindless, brainless things. He wants to feel. He wants action and reaction. He wants Derek's fire and Derek's smiles and Derek's anger and his laughter. Mikael wants all of Derek.

It's forty-five minutes later. Derek is on the seventh movement, Neptune the mystic, and he's about to put the entire thing on repeat so he can listen again when he notices that the numbers on the screen say 7 of 8. There is no 8th movement to _The Planets_. He pushes the button to take him to the next piece.

"Hello, my darling lion. I knew that between Zane's mouth and your wit you would find me here." Mikael's voice sounds in his ears and Derek has to remind himself to breathe. "You enjoyed The Planets, didn't you? If not, if you were too smart and found me before its completion, I want you to go back through and listen to each movement because you make me feel all of these things, all of these emotions. Sometimes no words can describe emotion, you can only let yourself feel it.

"I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to get in touch with you. I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to give you your music. I'm sorry that it's going to take a bit longer for me to get new things set up for us, a new life that will be good for the both of us. I need to make sure that we're both safe, that we can have that lifetime we spoke about. This is a moment, Derek. It's only a moment.

"I miss you immensely, and I hope that you miss me too. I hope that Zane is taking good care of you and that Jesse's motives still include your safety. I hope that you think of me, that you dream of me, that you're obsessed with what will be for us and not what currently is. I will come for you. You are not alone. You are not without a Master.

"You are my beautiful lion, my most precious possession, mine. I love you. Always, Derek. Always ask yourself; what are you? who do you belong to? who do you love? All of your answers lie there."

There's a pause here. Derek waits for his Master to continue. "I absolutely adore you, you know. Your Master loves you, Derek. Be patient and I will be there. Now listen to this music again and think of me, my darling."

The track ends. Derek whispers 'yes, Master'. He listens to _The Planets_ all the way through just to get to his Master's voice on the 8th track. His Master doesn't just rule the world. He rules the universe and all the planets within.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

What are you? Who do you belong to? Who do you love? The answers to these questions are Mikael's, Mikael and Mikael, respectively. Derek has listened to his Master's voice too many times to count. He knows every note, every cadence, every ebb and flow of each movement of the _The Planets_. He listens to the music and his Master again and again.

What are you? Who do you belong to? Who do you love? Mikael's, Mikael and Mikael... respectively.

He also knows that he's becoming someone else. Derek, through therapy and time with friends he'd had before his world had imploded, is evolving into something else. Will he still be Mikael's? Will Mikael still want him?

It takes him awhile to share the message with Jesse and Zane. For some time he keeps it to himself, something that's just his. In the end though, three days later, he has to share his joy with the two men who he counts as friends.

Zane scours the rest of the classical music for extra tracks. There's only the one. Zane is both disappointed for himself and happy for Derek.

"See? I told you you still have a Master. He'll be in touch." Zane says, completely revitalized by the slightest communication from Mikael, even if it's to Derek. "This is good news." He leans down, cupping Derek's face. "See? He loves you. Keep telling yourself that so you'll remember it, beautiful. Your Master loves you."

Derek smiles. "You think he'll still love me with shorter hair, Sir?"

"I think he will. We're gonna let it grow out though. All of it, like you wanted. We'll put it in braids or dreads. Then when he's ready he can do whatever the hell he wants with it. Right?"

"Yeah. Yes, Sir." Derek nods.

"It sounds like he's making a place for you." Jesse says.

Both Zane and Derek look at Jesse. There, of course, might not be a place for Jesse wherever Mikael is preparing a place for them.

"I'll talk to him." Zane says. "I mean, it's not like I can promise anything. Mikael doesn't let many people in his inner circle and you..."

"Yeah, I lied." Jesse nods.

"But I can be pretty persuasive when I wanna be."

Derek hopes Zane is right about that. Jesse deserves to be happy too.

 

* * *

 

Derek has been seeing Doctor Cohen for five weeks now. It's been over two months since he's seen Mikael. He's only heard his Master's voice on his iPod. Derek dreams of that voice, those words, the music connected to them and the emotions it provokes.

He dreams of his Master fucking him to that music. He dreams of his Master's caress, his approval, his love, accompanied by Holst's _The Planets_.

Zane keeps buying Derek cloves again and again. Zane jokes that they've cornered the market on cloves between them and Mikael. It's nice to think that something in this world might just be theirs and Mikael's. Zane also keeps Derek's nails done. Every two weeks he removes the old nail polish and redoes the black with the gold stripe down the middle. Derek's hair has started growing out again.

Every morning Zane and Jesse wash Derek. They give him an enema. They slick him up and put a plug inside of him. He's only dressed if he's going out to one of his sessions with Gray. Sometimes he thinks Doctor Cohen is helping him get better. Sometimes he thinks the Doctor is just confusing him.

Sometimes he feels like he's two different people again, inside and out. Only the voices are no longer in his mind, they're on the outside, all of them, for everyone to see.

Rossi invites him to dinner. Derek wants to go, but not without Zane and Jesse. They dress him in one of Jesse's tee-shirts and a pair of his jeans. His iPod is slipped into his pocket because Derek refuses to be without it. They head to Rossi's house.

The minute they're let in, the smell of food and wine is a potent thing. Conversation and laughter comes from the kitchen. Derek has been here before under similar circumstances. It was another lifetime. He was a different person.

David Rossi's house is large. He's a wealthy man, after all. "Well look who's here!" Rossi proclaims when they round the corner.

It's a small gathering, which is good because Derek isn't sure he'd be okay with a crowd, with people he doesn't know. Everyone is smiles. Everyone hugs him. Derek hugs them back.

"I like the hair cut." J.J. says.

"Thank you." Derek trips over saying the word 'madame'. He's been working on not saying 'sir' and 'madame' to everyone. Doctor Cohen has been helping him with that.

Jesse shakes Hotch's hand and turns to the group. "This is Agent Jesse Mendez. That's Jennifer Jarreau, Penelope Garcia, Spencer Reid and our host, David Rossi."

"You can just call me Jesse." Jesse squeezes Zane's hand in his. "This is Zane."

"I'm completely fine with being in a room of federal agents." Zane proclaims with a shake of his head. "This is great. No pressure at all!"

Everyone looks at Zane.

Zane looks at everyone and arches a brow.

The room erupts in laughter and no one is the wiser for how _not_ fine Zane is with being in a room of federal agents. They think he's joking. With Zane, sarcastic honesty is the best policy.

Everyone seems to get along. Derek sits in an actual chair at the table and eats his own meal because he's had Zane's and Jesse's permission to do so. He struggles through it at times. At other times he feels like a real person, almost normal as normal is defined by most of the people in this room.

Derek even finds himself laughing more than he's not. It feels good.

"Hey, you! Yes, you, tall dark and handsome, get over here." It's Penelope. Derek has never been able to say no to her. Some things never change. It's after dinner and more wine bottles have been pulled out. J.J., Hotch, Reid and Rossi have invited Jesse and Zane into a game of cards. Penelope is a spectator and so is Derek.

"I think you might've had a bit too much wine." He teases her.

"Maybe. I like too much wine sometimes. So do you, or you did, plus beer. You used to like beer, sometimes you even liked too much beer."

She's not wrong. Derek used to like both of those things. He forces his hands into the pockets of his jeans so that he's not clasping them behind his back. "I used to do a lot of things."

"Remember that thing you used to call me?" She asks. "I kinda miss it a lot. I'm not saying you have to call me it now, but... just so you know, I'd be okay with it if you did it again, when you're ready."

Derek knows full well what she's talking about. That feels like a lifetime ago. It also feels like an inch closer to where and who he wishes he could be, a step toward that middle ground.

Derek takes that step closer. It's so much easier to take those steps when he's around these people, his friends from a past life. "If you're good with it, you're still my baby girl. You always will be."

Her face lights up and the look is contagious. Derek can't help but smile in return. "Dreamy sigh. You know how to make a girl happy."

"Just you."

"Maybe we can go to a movie sometime." She looks over to Reid. "We can take pretty boy and Rossi."

Pretty boy, Derek used to call Reid that all the time. He doesn't think about asking Zane and Jesse for permission. He doesn't think about anything right now except to nestle in this moment where he feels more human than he has in long, long time.

"Hey, pretty boy!" Reid looks up, surprised, then smiles. "Movies with Garcia sometime?"

"Uh. Yeah!" Spencer nods quickly. Everyone in the room smiles, well, almost everyone. "Yeah, I'd like that. Sometime this week?"

Derek nods.

"It's a date!" Penelope squeals. "I mean, everyone's invited, of course. But it's a date! A friend date. A date where friends do things. I'll bring one of my big purses to sneak cheap candy into the movie theater. It'll be the best time. We should watch a comedy or one of those sappy romances. Nothing dark and depressing because wow have we had our quota of that for the past few years. I'll google and see what's showing right now. Also you should get your own cell phone so I can call and chat with you."

His own cell phone. Derek has things that are his. His collar, his traveling attire, his stuffed lion, his iPod... now he might acquire one more thing, a cell phone. Derek looks over to his guards. They're both watching him quietly and curiously.

"I can help him get one." Jesse finally says with a nod.

"Derek has money." Aaron says. "His own money. He can get a new bank card and then his own cell phone, I'm sure. Right?"

Derek glances at Hotch and nods. Sometimes he forgets that he has a bank account that has money in it still. "I can get a cell phone."

"And then immediately text me so I'll have your number because of planning things and also not planning things cause sometimes a girl just has to ramble about things." Penelope says, embracing Derek in a tight hug. "I've missed my best friend."

It's a good moment for Derek. He feels good. He feels like this is a space he fits into easily. Penelope Garcia's best friend. Derek has a best friend who isn't a friend with benefits, fine print and conditions like Zane and Jesse are.

"I've missed you too." He's really missed her.

 

* * *

 

That night when they get back to Jesse's house, Derek is told to stay in the bedroom after they've taken his clothes off. They close the door and disappear into the living room, leaving Derek kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed. Derek can hear the soft murmurs of a conversation between the other two. That conversation doesn't sound pleasant.

He can't make out any of the words for how hushed they're keeping it. But Derek gets the idea that he's messed up, or maybe they're just upset about his interaction with his other friends. He thinks back over the night and makes a mental list of all the things that could have been perceived as a mistake. The list is long.

Derek is alone for a long time before they come back into the room.

Jesse kneels on the floor beside him while Zane sits on the mattress at the foot of the bed behind Derek.

"Hey." Jesse says. "You did good tonight."

"Looked like you had fun." Zane adds, sliding a hand back over Derek's short curls.

"I did have fun, Sirs." Derek stares at Jesse. "Are you both mad at me?"

Jesse shakes his head. "No. We're not mad at you. We're just worried about you. We know you need a Master and neither of us are able to give that to you the way you need it. That has to be hard on you."

"We're not Masters. We're just us. We work for Mikael, yeah, but I like to think we're friends too, beyond working for Mikael." Zane's hand rests on Derek's shoulder. "We're friends, right?"

"Yes, Sir. I didn't mean to make you feel like that was a question that had to be asked." Derek answers. They're friends. Zane and Jesse have helped him in different ways, in their own ways. They're the good in the shit storm of bad that has been his life for over two years now. No, they're not perfect. Neither is Derek. But they're his friends. There's no question about that in Derek's mind.

Mikael is the glue that holds them together though, especially when he has people like Penelope and Hotch and Reid and Rossi and J.J. The more he's around those people from his past life, the more he turns into someone else, someone new, someone who can exist in the middle ground of two different worlds.

Will Mikael let him exist in that middle ground? Will Jesse and Zane let him exist there?

"Like I said, we're just worried about you." Jesse says. "I'm gonna take you tomorrow to the bank and to buy a cell phone."

Derek gets the feeling that this is being done for appearances sake. He's still grateful that he'll have a way of talking to Penelope anytime he wants. "Thank you, Sir."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

Change is never easy. It wasn't easy for Derek to let go of his pride with Carl Buford to say a few meaningless words for him. It wasn't easy for Derek to let go of the warrior in him in the Catacombs when metal was shoved into his mouth and a baseball bat into his ass. It wasn't easy for Derek to let go of all the parts of him that had nothing to do with sex while he was in the Mistress's harem. It wasn't easy for him to accept himself as Antoine's stallion, to lose Antoine, to try to be in the real world again and then to regain his voice with Mikael.

Nothing is ever easy anymore.

Even now, as Derek is morphing into something that he doesn't yet understand, it's not easy. Change is hard. Derek has been forced into change time after time. He fought it and he was still forced and coerced and manipulated. This time he's slowly but surely scratching and clawing his way into change. Whatever this is going to be, whatever he's going to become, this is all him.

He's terrified of change. He's also hungry for change.

It's been another month of living without Mikael. There's been no word from him. Derek has been attending therapy with Doctor Cohen. He's been out with Penelope a few times. Sometimes others are there. Sometimes it's just him and Penelope. She's taken him shopping, helped him pick out some clothes that are his. Derek has clothes that are his. This is something new.

He's been talking to her and Reid, telling them things slowly, bit by bit. Sometimes she starts crying and she has to let him know that it's okay to tell her, she's just sad that he's been through what he's been through. Reid never judges, he just listens. It's a kind of therapy that rivals or is equal to what he's had with Doctor Cohen.

Jesse and Zane have had to let him out by himself because it would raise questions if they kept him hidden away. When he's in Jesse's home though, his clothes come off and his knees are on the floor, hands behind his back. They love on him and fuck him and let him please them as Derek needs to be able to do.

Derek's new cell phone is more active than Zane's or Jesse's combined. He feels like he's a part of life and the living of it even as he submits to his guards behind closed doors.

He's in Doctor Cohen's office, sitting on the couch. It's been a few weeks that he's been sitting on the couch in here and not kneeling on the floor. He's wearing clothes that are his. Jeans that fit right and a gray-blue henley top. The golden collar is still around his neck. Derek never takes that off. His hair is in tight braids against his head.

"The mall was a harder thing to do than it should've been." He says.

Gray nods. "Because of the people."

"Yeah. Penelope was there and played defense, keeping people away from my personal space as much as she could. But she could only do so much, you know? I guess I'm not good in crowded places. I don't know why that is. I used to be fine in crowds."

"It could be people related, or it might not be. You've developed claustrophobia because of what you've been through. Too many people can produce the same effect as that. Or it could be that a large number of people in one space is more interactive stimulation than you've had in awhile... in which case that should cure itself with time and exposure to similar circumstances."

Derek shrugs. "I'll keep working on it."

Doctor Cohen smiles. "I have no doubt of that. You've been doing well with being around your friends."

"Yeah, it feels good. Sometimes I have uncomfortable moments but for the most part, I'm getting better at being around them. It's almost like nothing happened sometimes. Normal. Good." He rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "I still need sex, but... but that's okay."

"That is okay. You're doing good." Gray says. "Are you having sex?"

Derek smirks and nods, thinking of Jesse and Zane. "Yeah. It's not... I still wish it were with my Master. Is that weird?"

"No. You miss him. You're looking for something specific and that's okay."

Derek is absolutely looking for something specific. A part of him thinks that something is Mikael, who he misses more than anything. A part of him also thinks that he's just looking for a Master, any Master. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It also muddies the waters.

In these months Derek has built Mikael up into this demigod type character in his mind who's going to come into his life and make everything make sense once again. Maybe he'll even make things easy. In these months Derek has also become confused about what is right and wrong anymore. He's trying to find equilibrium in that middle ground.

There's a clicking sound. Click. Click. Derek is drawn from his thoughts back into the conversation. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Lost you there for a minute." Gray says. "What were you thinking about?"

"Whether or not I'm lovable, I guess." Because that's what it boils down to. Can Mikael love Derek as a survivor, while he's existing on middle ground. Or will he try to revert Derek to who he was before?

"Everyone is lovable depending on who you talk to. Will someone from your past love who you are now? When you find the answer to that, remember that love ebbs and flows just as we do through the passage of time. And love, in its present form, doesn't come with conditions."

 

* * *

 

Derek steps outside of Doctor Cohen's office after his appointment expecting to find Jesse waiting for him as always. He finds Hotch instead. He looks out into the hallway to see if Jesse is there then back at Hotch. "Hey, what's up?"

"I need to talk to you. Can we sit?"

Derek nods and they both take a seat in the waiting room. Doctor Cohen has stepped outside with Derek and stands off to the side.

"Agent Mendez has been taken in for questioning. Zane is missing. We can't find him."

"What?" Derek feels tight, restricted, everything is tight and closing in even tighter. While he'd been in therapy, Jesse was out here being arrested? "Why?"

"It appears that he altered records for Zane."

Yes. Yes, Jesse had done that. It's the very definition of a federal offense. Derek can't deny it. All he can do is tell the truth. "Hotch, they're my friends. They're my friends and they helped me, okay?"

"You mean Jesse helped you."

Oh. Had Derek just put Zane in more danger by implying that he knew Zane before the Gallery had fallen? Fuck.

Thankfully Hotch skips over his blunder, as if it was something he'd already suspected. Hotch is smart. He's also Derek's friend and has probably ignored a few things for him. "But we can't ignore that the breach happened. You know that."

He knows that. It kills him inside, but he knows that. Derek feels like he's drowning. He'd just been getting control of a few things. Now it feels like that's slipping away, like he's fading. What is he going to do? What's gonna happen to him? Where is Zane?

Click. Click. Click.

Derek blinks and looks over to Doctor Cohen. He's pulled back into the present. "I'm sorry, Sir." It's been awhile since he's called anyone but Zane and Jesse 'Sir'.

"It's okay." Gray squats down next to Derek, a hand resting on Derek's arm. "Agent Hotchner? You might want to tell him what happens now."

"He'll be in questioning until they're satisfied with his explanations. Do you know how long he was in deep cover?" When Derek shakes his head, Hotch answers. "Eight years, seven years in the Gallery itself. That's a long time, Derek. People change. He just needs awhile to decompress, remember who he is, just like you."

Jesse has been in that life, in the Gallery, for seven years? Of course he's having some of the same conflicts, fighting some of the same internal battles as Derek is. You live an unlawful way of life for so long that unlawful becomes law. You lie so much all day every day that the lines between truth and lies gets blurred or non-existent.

"I've read his debriefing, Derek. He's done some horrible things that he... he's having a hard time with. He needs help and we'll get him that help."

"And Zane?"

"Is he a part of the Gallery?"

"No." Derek can answer that honestly. He quickly shakes his head. "No, he isn't. He's not with the Gallery."

"He's suspected of human trafficking and falsifying passports, but no one knows how to connect him to it and with what organization. Do you know anything about that?"

"Hotch." Everything is feeling tight again. Everything is imploding. Yes, he knows about more human trafficking. Mikael has never abducted people off the streets, kidnapped them from their lives, not that Derek knows of. He's bought them from the people who do that though, bought them and trained them and sold them.

Click.

"He worked security for my old Master."

"Antoine?"

Derek nods. His eyes beg Hotch not to make him say more than that. Let them all think Antoine is still alive. It should make no difference either way.

"I'm going to take you by Jesse's house to get your things. Rossi is meeting us at his house. You're not alone, Derek. You have us."

"Derek." Gray stands as Derek does. He takes one of Derek's hands and presses a small metal device into his hand. "If you feel yourself slipping away, use that. You also have my number."

Derek nods again then follows Hotch out of the offices.

 

* * *

 

At Rossi's house, Derek is led to one of the guest bedrooms. He sets a small duffel bag down, a small duffel bag that holds everything he owns in the world in it. The room is nice, obviously designed by a professional as much of Rossi's house is. Derek waits for Hotch and Rossi to leave him alone before he gets his iPod out of his bag. He slips his ear buds in his ears and listens to Holst. He pulls off all his clothes, kneels on the floor, hands behind his back.

He kneels there listening to the music for a long time, long enough to get through all eight tracks multiple times.

It's hours later that there's a knock on his door. Derek quickly pulls on some clothes and opens the door. Rossi invites him to come join him for dinner. Derek agrees.

They're sitting at the bar in the kitchen, eating sandwiches and drinking wine.

"I'm sorry about your friends, Morgan." Morgan. His friends call him that sometimes. It's been awhile though.

Derek shakes his head. "I don't know, I've been thinking about it and no one was dealt an easy hand in this. None of our hands are clean. None of us are perfect."

"Don't we know it. They'll do what's right for Jesse. He's earned that."

"He gave away eight years of his life to bring down the Gallery." Damn right he's earned it no matter how twisted he got along the way. Parts of Derek are twisted too. "No one comes away from the Gallery unchanged." He'd wondered once if 'once in the gallery, always in the gallery' applied to not just the pets, but the guards too. Jesse will always carry the Gallery with him too, just like Derek will.

"No, guess not. But you survived it." Rossi adds, a hand on Derek's shoulder. "You're one of the strongest people I know, Derek Morgan."

Derek is a survivor. Rossi's not wrong. Derek will never be a whore, a hole, in a harem, or a victim again if he can help it. Change is never easy. Nothing is ever easy anymore. He reaches into his pocket and clicks the metal device Doctor Cohen had given him.

Click.

It grounds him. "Yeah, I survived it."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

** TWO YEARS LATER **

Derek stares at his ghostly reflection in the window glass. The reflection isn't as sharp as it would be in a mirror, but he can still see himself. His hair is long, all of it in braids down to just past his shoulders. He still wears his piercings. The kol around his eyes isn't as dark and prominent as it was two years ago. It's still there though. He wears jeans and a tank top.

There is no collar around his neck.

After staying with Rossi for over a year and a half, five months ago Derek had moved out of Rossi's house and bought his own apartment and a new bike. Rossi says he was sad to see Derek go. It was hard for Derek to leave the safety that house had given him, but it was time.

Four months ago Derek had started working cases with the BAU again. His mind couldn't handle it, delving into the myriad of horrors that people inflict on one another, so he bowed out and bought this, his first fixer upper. He used to love restoring old homes, taking something ugly, forgotten and broken and making it beautiful and useful again. This is exactly what he's needed. It's a whole other kind of therapy, restoring broken things.

He swipes a handkerchief over the glass of the window he's just installed and turns back to the wooden window frame he'd stained yesterday. It rests on some saw horses waiting for installation. The saw horses evoke erotic memories of Antoine and Derek's stables. Derek has to remind himself that they're just wood holding up more wood. The window frames are going up next.

Derek still hasn't heard from Mikael. At this point he's not sure he wants to hear from him. He isn't sure Mikael would like the man he is now, the man he still plans to become. Derek has changed a lot. He still has a long way to go. 

Zane is still on the run. No one has seen him, not even Derek. Jesse has been going through therapy just as Derek has had to do, only Jesse's had to do it in a federal psychiatric facility until the feds can be certain which side he's on. Jesse has called Derek a few times from there and they've had several long conversations. Jesse has a lot of guilt. Derek is always quick to absolve him of that guilt. He loves Jesse. Jesse is his friend.

It's been three months now since Derek has bought his last pack of cloves. He refuses to buy another. It's his small way of letting go of Mikael. Derek is still holding on to other bits of his Master in other ways.

The harem still hasn't been found. Carl Buford still hasn't been found. Derek tries not to think too much about any of these things. There's nothing he can do about either of them and if he dwells on them he looses himself. He doesn't want to lose himself again.

Awhile back he'd had surgery to get the tracker and computer chip out of his shoulder. It felt good to let that go. He wouldn't let them take the pump from his arm. He needs that. It's also connected to a major artery that would require a more extensive surgery to remove. They've decided to try to start weaning him off of the sexual enhancement drug. Derek doesn't know how he feels about that.

Derek hasn't had sex in a long time. He'd gone out a few times looking for it at first, after it became clear that Jesse wasn't being set free and Zane wasn't coming back. He didn't go to any of his old haunts. He went to a local gay bar where he was pretty sure he could pick someone up to fuck him, a man who is into men. Penelope and J.J. aside, Derek is still more comfortable around men than he is around women. He picked someone up a handful of times. It felt so damn good in the moment. Then he felt like shit afterward.

After talking to Doctor Cohen about it, multiple times, he's finally gotten to the point where he can touch himself and not fear repercussions. Self pleasure is the name of the game now. Derek touches himself often. He fucks himself with dildos. He puts a plug in his ass every day. He gives himself what his body needs.

Hotch and Penelope took Derek to see his mom and Desi a few months ago. It's the first time he felt he could stomach it. His mom cried. Desi cried. Derek cried. Derek apologized again and again and his mom and sister just told him it was okay, that it wasn't his fault and that they loved him. They visited Sarah's grave together and cried again.

Anytime he gets too lost in his own thoughts, he uses the clicker Doctor Cohen has given him. It helps him for some reason. It helps bring him back into the here and now. It helps him move forward to the next thing. He hasn't needed to use it much lately.

He hears the click-clomp of heels before he sees her. He knows that walk just from hearing it. "Watch out for wires, baby girl."

"I am! I'm watching all the wires! I'm going to become an expert at walking through wire minefields. See how I'm not breaking anything? I think that means I'm an expert."

"Oh, watch out for that one." That voice is Reid. It's followed by a shriek from Penelope.

Both appear around the corner and Derek crosses the room to hug them. "You guys don't need to come here every day, you know. Not that I'm complaining, I just know you have your own stuff."

"Oh please, look at him, look at me. We do not have our own stuff. You're our own stuff."

"I feel like I should be offended by that, but I'm not." Reid says.

"Good, cause... we brought the greasiest burgers we could find and onion rings and fries! Annnnd...." Penelope reaches into her massive purse and pulls out a bottle of wine. "Bubbly. It's time for a break from work, isn't it?"

Derek laughs, looking between the greasy bag in Reid's hand and the bottle in Penelope's. "You guys are speaking my language."

"Great! We can floor picnic it. Just let me. Uhm. I'll... uh. Just..."

Watching Penelope try to sit down on the floor in her short skirt and tall heels is an exercise in hilarity. Derek finally has pity on her, taking her purse and helping her to the floor. He sits down too and so does Reid.

This is his life now. Derek is finding peace inch by painstaking inch.

 

* * *

 

Derek is sitting in the stands, close to the edge so he only has people to one side of him, the other side is open space so he doesn't feel too crowded. Penelope sits next to him. Reid is up behind him. J.J. and Will are in front of him. Hotch and Rossi are in the dugout coaching Jack's baseball team.

Sometimes people do a double-take when they look at him, because of the kol around his eyes, because of his scars. Derek tries not to think too much about it. Today he's worn dark sunglasses to hide much of what's around his eyes.

He's out here surrounded by people who care about him on all sides. They don't care about kol tattoos or scars on his face. Derek tries not to focus too much on the baseball bats, just on the game itself and the kids playing it and his friends coaching it.

Derek stands with the others, arms in the air, yelling, when Jack hits a ball thrown his way.

"Run run run, Jack! Run!"

This is his life now. Derek is finding happiness inch by painstaking inch.

 

* * *

 

Derek is alone in his apartment. He has the football game on the television and has taken all of his clothes off. He's still, to this day, more comfortable without any clothes on. He keeps waiting for the opposite to be true. It hasn't happened yet.

He pops open a beer and takes a healthy drink of it. In his bedroom, he grabs his collar and iPod from the nightstand and brings them into the living room to set them on the coffee table. He doesn't wear the collar. He doesn't listen to the iPod. He just likes to have them close, can't bring himself to completely let go of them yet.

He also grabs the stuffed lion Penelope had given him. He settles down on the couch to watch the football game.

This is his life now. Derek is learning to be alone with himself again, inch by painstaking inch.

 

* * *

 

At the gym, Derek is working out. He goes to the gym three times a week. Sometimes Hotch shows up with him. Sometimes Derek is alone. Derek runs on the treadmill. He works weights.

Every Wednesday he goes to judo. Sometimes J.J. comes with him to these classes. Sometimes she stays after and they spar with one another. It reminds him of Zane and Jesse.

No matter what he's doing and with who, there are times at the gym when he's sure he'll look over and see Mikael watching him appreciatively. This is how his Master used to like to admire what was his. Mikael is never there when Derek looks. Eventually he quits looking for him.

This is his life now. Derek is learning to rebuild himself on the outside as well as the inside.

 

* * *

 

"Come on, the whole point of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover." Penelope says. "In most horror flicks if a tiny blonde girl walks down a dark street, she's gonna die. This tiny blonde girl turns around and makes monster mash of the monster."

"Really? Cause I've sat through four seasons of it with you now and I thought it was about an angsty May December relationship." Derek knows it's not about that. He just likes to get Penelope going. Her hand baps his arm and he laughs and clutches the place she hit, smiling. "Alright, alright, empowerment, book covers and consequences for your actions. I got it."

"Thank you! I knew you were paying attention." Penelope says. "When we got you caught up on Doctor Who I was trying to figure out what to make you watch next and I think I chose wisely. Buffy is a heroine in every way, all day, every day. Plus she's the master of pun."

They're sitting at a bar, Penelope with something fruity and alcoholic in front of her and Derek with a beer. They'd decided to go out for drinks after Derek cleaned up from working on the house today. It took three different tries before they found a place that wasn't too crowded for Derek's comfort.

"Yeah, it's an all right show." In truth, he has more fun watching Penelope's reactions to things in the show than the show itself. Although the show isn't bad.

"Just wait until we get to Angel's spin-off! You'll probably like that even more. Plus David Boreanaz is hot in all things."

The bar tender comes by to ask them if they want more. They both ask for refills.

"Sarah Michelle Gellar is hot too. So is that... uhm... she plays Faith."

"Eliza Dushku! Yes, she's very pretty."

"Yeah, her. She's pretty." He says. "But she's got nothing on you, baby girl.

Penelope squeals and pats Derek's arm a few times in her excitement. "I love that I can talk about TV shows with you again! Isn't this fun?"

"Next we're watching something I pick out."

"After Buffy and after Angel's spin-off cause you have to watch it all together so it's all fresh. Oh! Then there's the Buffy comics you have to read. _Then_ we'll watch something you pick out." Penelope says. "What are you going to pick out?"

"I hear Breaking Bad is good."

"No."

"Mad Men?"

"Jon Hamm is a gorgeous hunk, but no."

"Vikings?"

"Eh, maybe, but no."

Derek is laughing again when the bartender brings their drinks to them. He adds a glass of wine alongside Derek's beer. "What's this?"

"From the gentleman at the other end of the bar."

"Oooo speaking of hot, he is super-duper sizzling."

Derek scans the people sitting along the bar. He catches a whiff of clove. Then he sees him. A thousand dollar suit and necktie. A clove in the ashtray in front of him. A glass of wine like Derek's in his hand. 

Mikael. 

Chiseled features, carefully combed hair, ocean blue eyes boring into him, drowning him. Derek wants to drown. He shouldn't want to drown. Mikael lifts a glass of wine in silent toast to Derek. Derek reaches into his pocket for something metal.

Click.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

This is another moment in time in a lifetime of moments. It's a moment that Derek had started to think would never happen. It's a moment where time seems to stand still even while the world around them keeps on moving. Mikael stares at Derek, lips pulled into a familiar perpetual smirk. Derek stares into the ocean, shocked at the audacity of its being here.

"He's like a taller, handsomer Daniel Craig. And that's saying a lot cause Daniel Craig equals yum." Penelope's voice cuts into the moment.

Time starts to move again and Derek inhales a deep breath. He's painfully aware of the lack of a collar around his neck. He picks up the wine glass, looks back over to Mikael and toasts him back before taking a sip.

Mikael grins.

"Oh my god, I'm watching a romantic drama play out. It's like, the best thing." Penelope says. "Are you going over there to talk to him? Thank him for the drink? Lick his face? Cause I'd be okay with seeing any of that."

"No, I..." Derek smirks, looks back over to her. His best friend is none the wiser about what's happening right now, about who that man is, about what's going on inside of Derek. His entire self has come alive on the inside.

When Derek looks back across the bar and finds the space where Mikael had been only moments before vacant he slides from his stool without thinking and hurries through the bar. He frantically looks around, doesn't see him, steps outside onto the sidewalk, doesn't see him.

He stands there for a long while before going back inside.

Penelope is sliding back on her stool too. "Didn't find him? I swear I didn't even see him leave. He was like a very, very hot Houdini! I looked around the back half while you were in the front."

Mikael is here. Mikael was here. Derek saw him. Mikael was here.

Derek holds onto the stem of the glass and twists it a few times, foregoing his beer for the wine Mikael had gotten him. He knows he wasn't seeing things. Penelope saw him too.

"Hey. Chocolate thunder. You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay." Derek says with a nod. His other hand slips back into his pocket to touch the clicker. Click.

 

* * *

 

For the next week Derek is looking everywhere for Mikael. He looks for him while he's at the gym with J.J. and Hotch. He looks for him when he goes out to buy groceries. He looks for him when he's catching lunch or dinner with Penelope and Reid. He never sees Mikael. He doesn't know if he wants to see Mikael except from afar. It's confusing.

Whether he wants to see him or not, Derek can't shake the feeling of being watched. He stands up straighter, walks more smoothly, tries to make himself look pleasing to the eye. It's a subconscious change, something he'd learned while living in the harem. If Mikael is watching him, Derek wants him to like what he sees.

Derek has made more use of Doctor Cohen's clicker this week than he has in some time. It helps to order his thoughts, to keep him grounded, to keep him from losing himself in his mind or drowning in his memories of the ocean.

When he's at the house he's working on, it helps to give his mind something else to do. At night when he's at his apartment he undresses, kneels and stares at his collar just as he had when Mikael had strung him up at the foot of his bed. Wanting what's just out of reach, unsure of whether or not he should want it.

He never puts it on. It's not really his anymore, not in that way. It's something he loves. It's something he cherishes. But he isn't the man who wears a collar anymore, or maybe he just doesn't wear _that_ collar.

For a week he never sees Mikael.

At this point Derek is only seeing Doctor Cohen once a week instead of several times a week. The Doctor notices that something is different about Derek. Derek tells Gray that he met someone and it was nice. Gray tells him that it's a good thing but to be careful. Derek leaves the session and heads back to his apartment.

He parks his bike, removes his helmet and gets off the bike. A car door slams behind him and Derek looks back to see Mikael having just gotten out of a slick sports car, buttoning his suit coat. Derek stares at him.

Mikael approaches Derek, reaching into the inside breast pocket of his coat to get a golden cigarette case. Mikael gets a clove and lights it.

The spicy scent envelopes Derek. He wants to take a drag of the cigarette, of Mikael, just one drag, inside of him.

"Hello, my darling. It's been too long, hasn't it?"

Derek has no idea what to say, what to do, what to think. He's spent years reminding himself how to speak, act and think for himself. All of that slips away in this moment.

"May I touch you?"

Can he say no? Is no still a bad word? Does he want to say no? No, he doesn't want to say it.

"Oh my sweet lion, you're speechless." Mikael reaches up, gliding the backs of his fingers over Derek's cheek, down the side of his neck to his shoulder. Mikael lifts his chin. "Where are your words, Derek?"

Derek reaches into his jeans pocket. His hand wraps around the metal clicker. He doesn't use it, but just holding onto it helps. "It's been years. I never thought I'd see you again."

"I'm just full of surprises, aren't I? There's much more where this came from, Derek." Mikael, cocky as ever, sure of himself as ever. He's everything Derek remembers him to be, maybe more. "Are you going to invite me in?"

"You wanna come into my apartment?" Through everything after Carl's first attack Derek has always been in everyone else's space. No one has ever been in his space. He isn't sure that someone like Mikael fits in his small apartment.

"I do. If you'll invite me in." Mikael steps closer, ocean blue eyes leveled with Derek's browns. He holds the filter of his clove just over Derek's lips. "Do you want to invite me in, Derek?"

There's a hesitation here as the spice is breathed in through his nostrils. Then he puts his lips around the filter and breathes Mikael in. Yes. Yes. Yes, please. "Yeah, come on."

Mikael grins and follows Derek to the apartment door and into Derek's apartment once it's unlocked. Derek flips on a light switch. His apartment is furnished by himself with a little bit of Penelope's help. It's nice, with a masculine vibe and a splash of color and quirkiness here and there.

Derek watches in shock as Mikael is walking around the apartment to take it all in. Mikael touches the collar and iPod on the coffee table and grins at Derek. Then he goes to the kitchen to rummage around in cabinets and get a glass to dump clove ashes into. Mikael goes into the bedroom, into the bathroom, back into the living room where Derek hasn't moved an inch from where he's shut the door. He's effectively christened the entire place with the scent of cloves, with himself.

"I like it very much." Mikael looks at Derek.

Derek looks at Mikael. "Where have you been?"

"Many places, Derek. I'd ask where you've been but I already know."

"Where do you think I've been?"

"Living with a friend of yours, Agent David Rossi? I've recently read a few of his books, very good, very interesting." Mikael says. "And then here, your new apartment."

Somehow Mikael has known where Derek has been. Somehow that doesn't surprise Derek. It makes Derek angry that Mikael has been keeping tabs on him while Derek has had no idea about Mikael. "You left me alone this long. Why are you here now?"

"Oh I've missed that fire in your eyes so much." Mikael steps closer. "Look at you..." Blue eyes devour him. Derek feels devoured. "Puffed up and beautiful. My wild lion has found his herd, regained his footing. Now I'm going to present him with a jungle to play in."

Derek has no idea what to say to that. He has no idea what it means. He just narrows his eyes and shakes his head.

"You know I couldn't come for you before. You were surrounded by federal agents; your friends, a detail outside of Jesse's house. And then while you lived with Agent Rossi? The man has almost as good security as I have."

Derek knows that's true. "And the past six months?"

"We're on my time schedule, Derek. Not yours." He says. "Also, I had to make sure everything was set up as well as it can be and that the time was right."

"Right for what?"

"To introduce myself back into your life. You looked like you were enjoying yourself with your friend the other night. Penelope, is it?" Elegant fingers lift the clove to his lips and he takes another drag. "Now we have a story for how we met, witnessed by one of your friends and everything. It's perfect, really."

Mikael arches a brow at Derek. Derek thinks he should have known that Mikael had done that on purpose, that he's always had a plan. He wonders what his plan consists of now.

"You'll tell stories of the handsome stranger across the bar, how you kept running into him until one day he asked for your number. And then we made a date but we never made it outside of your apartment when I came to pick you up." As he speaks, Mikael is stepping closer and closer to Derek until he's right in front of him again. "Do you want to know why we never make it out of your apartment tonight, Derek?"

"Why?" Derek whispers, already knowing the answer.

"Because I'm going to fuck you, Derek." Mikael hisses. "Or, the more kosher version for the retelling of it: because we just couldn't keep our hands off of each other, love at first sight."

Derek's insides feel like a live electric wire dancing around; jittering, maddening, alive. Before he knows that he's going to do it, his hands are on either side of Mikael's face, his lips against Mikael's. He kisses him like a starving man devours a steak when it's placed before him. The kiss is wild and frantic. It's necessary.

"Derek. Clothes off." Mikael speaks against his lips. "Now."

Derek wants to keep kissing him. But it's Mikael. If it isn't clearly a question with Mikael, then it's an order. There is no in-between with Mikael. Mikael leaves very little room for argument. So he leans back and pulls his shirt over his head. It falls to the floor. His jeans are pushed down and his boots heel-toed off before he steps out of them.

Mikael steps back and sets the glass with his clove in it on the coffee table. "Turn around for me."

Turn around? The question in his features must be obvious because Mikael clarifies.

"In a circle, all the way around, Derek. Slowly. I want to see you."

After drawing in a deep breath, Derek turns in a slow circle, letting Mikael see what he wants to see of his body, of the criss-crossed scars on his back, the plug in his ass that he puts there himself every morning, all the piercings he still wears. When he's facing Mikael again, he asks him. "Still like what you see?"

A corner of Mikael's lips draws up. "Oh, my darling, 'like' is too small a word for what you do to me."

Mikael snaps the button on his suit coat and shrugs out of it, resting it neatly over the back of a chair. "Go to your bedroom, Derek. Lay down on your back, pillows beneath your ass, legs spread wide. I want your hands above your head, holding onto the slats in your headboard."

Oh how Derek wishes Mikael would let him watch him undress. At the door to his bedroom though, he pauses, looking back. "You're staying here, right? All night?"

"Do you want me here all night, Derek?" Mikael's dress shirt is untucked. Long, slender fingers are working the buttons open.

"I want you here all night."

"Then I'll stay here all night." Mikael says. "Now do as you're told."

Derek stifles a grin by pressing his lips together and goes into his bedroom. He gets on his bed and lies back, positions pillows beneath him to elevate his hips, spreads his legs wide with his knees bent and reaches up to hold onto the wooden slats of his headboard.

He waits. 

He hears Mikael undressing in the other room and he waits. 

He imagines Mikael's body, lean and chiseled and perfect, and he waits.

Honestly, Derek thinks he would wait for an eternity to feel the way he feels right now.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

Derek hears the flick of a lighter and Mikael's shadow appears in the doorway, beautifully naked, glass in one hand and the glowing ember of his freshly lit clove at his lips.

"Beautiful." Mikael says.

Mikael still thinks he's beautiful, even with his scars, even without his collar and mane, even when all of his hair is braids, not just some of it. Even now, Mikael thinks he's beautiful. Derek exhales a metaphorically held breath, a breath that's been held for far longer than he cares to think about. Maybe there was a small part of him that worried that Mikael had seen him from afar and turned the other way.

"Give me one hand." Mikael waits for Derek to release one of his hands from the headboard and instructs him to hold the glass he's dumping ashes in upright on the mattress.

"Mikael..." Should he be calling him Master? It's been so long, too long. No, he's not calling him Master. "I wanna touch you." The hand at the headboard releases the slats and starts to reach for the other man. He wants to feel him. He wants to feel the warmth, the definition, the solidity of him. He's here. He's really here.

Should Derek already be naked and in bed with him? Should Derek's body, inside and out, be reacting to him the way it is? How in the world does Mikael have so much power over him, even now? Derek hates this. Derek also loves it.

"Not yet, darling. Hold the headboard and don't let go."

Derek holds the headboard with one hand, Mikael's glass with the other.

Mikael crawls onto the bed on top of him and promptly slides his tongue up Derek's cock between the piercings of his jacob's ladder. "Have you been pleasing yourself, Derek?"

Is it bad that he's been pleasing himself? No. Derek has been taking care of himself. He's a warrior. He's a survivor. That's what he does now. Derek's answer is almost defiant. "Yeah, so?"

"Good." Mikael chuckles deeply in the face of Derek's defiance. He's on all fours, knees between Derek's legs, hands in the mattress to either side of him, lips hovering over Derek's. He kisses Derek. Derek kisses him back "There's no more need for that now that I'm here, is there?"

That implies that Mikael is staying. "Are you staying?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"If I said yes?"

"Then I would stay."

"I want you to stay."

"Done. Do you still need to please yourself with my being here?"

"No."

"Good." Mikael kisses him then, devouring his body bit by bit. Mikael doesn't miss an inch of skin, licking, kissing, biting, reclaiming Derek all the way from his hairline down to the tips of Derek's toes. It's a long, drawn out process. 

Derek's body shifts and arches up into every lick, every bite, every kiss, silently begging for more. 

Mikael is steadfast though, always in control, deliberate and purposeful in every inch of reclaimed skin. They're on Mikael's time schedule, not Derek's.

As Derek restores old houses, Mikael is restoring Derek.

As much as he tries, Derek can't catch his breath. His chest heaves, his body writhes, his heart hammers in his chest and his skin crawls with want.

When Mikael is finished, he nuzzles at Derek's crotch. "Is this mine, Derek?"

"Yes." Derek doesn't even think about it. Is there anything to think about? Yes. No. Maybe. He doesn't know. Right now the answer seems so simple. Yes, his cock is Mikael's.

Mikael's tongue laps up Derek's cock. Then he nuzzles lower against Derek's sac. "Is this mine?"

"Yes."

Mikael hums his pleasure. His fingertips press against the base of the plug in Derek's ass. He doesn't even have to ask. Derek gasps. "Yeah. It's yours. It's yours."

"What's mine?"

"My ass is yours." Again, the words are so easy because right now they feel like the truth.

"Mmm this pleases me so very much, darling." Mikael coos, hands at both of Derek's thighs to push them up and up, fold Derek in half. "It's exactly what I want."

Mikael pumps the plug a few times in Derek's ass before removing it. "I think I'll take what's mine."

"Yes. Mikeal..." Derek sounds so needy because he is needy. He needs this more than he's let himself need anything in a long, long time.

"Say my name again."

"Mikael." The other man pushes into him, filling him up where the plug has already slicked and stretched him.

"Again, Derek."

"Mikael."

Derek knows what Mikael is doing. He wants to make sure that Derek knows who's fucking him, who he's _letting_ fuck him. Derek invited him inside. Derek let Mikael roam his apartment as if he owns the place. Derek kissed Mikael first. Derek practically tore his clothes off when Mikael told him to. Derek laid in the bed exactly as Mikael had instructed him to. Derek laid still while Mikael as good as branded him with his lips and tongue and teeth. Derek as good as let Mikael claim him.

Yes, Derek knows fully well who's fucking him right now.

Mikael's cock stretches him open wide in a way he hasn't ever been able to duplicate since they'd been forced to go in separate directions. Derek's legs spread wide and are pulled up to let Mikael in. Mikael is playing with him, thrusting hard and fast and ever so slowly pulling back out, only to repeat the hard fuck and slow pull. Again and again. Derek's cock is hard and heavy and leaking pre.

It feels like he's come home and he wonders if Mikael feels the same.

Then he does something daring. Mikael has said he has to keep his hands in place. Mikael said nothing about his legs. Derek's legs wrap around Mikael's waist, pulling him in close.

Mikael growls at him, nips at his jaw line. Derek feels like the foundation of the world is just a little bit more steady and solid.

"What are you, Derek?"

Mikael plows into him as he answers. "Yours."

"Who do you belong to?"

"I..." He doesn't know why he hesitates here. He's just told Mikael that so many parts of him are his. "I belong to you."

"Say my name."

"Mikael."

"Who do you love?"

"I-..." Derek trips over the words again. Does he love Mikael? Does Mikael love him?

Mikael shushes him, lips and warm breath grazing over Derek's neck. "It's okay. We'll get there again. It's okay, darling." Mikael's thrusts come quicker, faster.

Derek feels Mikael everywhere, inside and out, and he fights not to cum around a heady groan even as he feels the hot wet of Mikael's spill fill his ass. "Please, Mikael."

Mikael pulls out of Derek and slips the plug back into him to hold his spill inside just as he had the last time they'd been together. Derek loves the feeling of it, knowing that it's in there. He wonders what that means.

It's a lot harder being with Mikael when Derek isn't a pet and Mikael isn't his Master. It's a lot harder being with Mikael when every nook and cranney of his mind is alive, active, full of thought. No part of Derek is a mindless, brainless thing anymore. It's a lot harder to be with Mikael when it's been two years and Derek has had all that time to build this up in his mind and also to talk himself out of it.

None of that changes how alive he is right now. Mikael has turned on a light switch, brought Derek to life in the same way he lights a cigarette.

Mikael kisses Derek, slips down lower and kisses his chest, lower again to his abdomen, and lower to lap at his cock and take him into his mouth. He sucks off of him. "Give me what's inside of you, Derek. Cum for me." Mikael's mouth is around him again, Derek doesn't know of anything sweeter or better than this.

Derek cums and it's more intense than anything he's felt in so long.

Does he love Mikael? He doesn't know. Things are too complicated for it to be that easy right now. But this, whatever this is between them, whatever Mikael does both to and for him, Derek needs it like he needs to confide in Penelope and Reid, like he needs to rebuild houses and make them new again, like he needs Hotch's friendship and respect, like he needs Rossi and J.J., Derek needs what Mikael gives him.

Mikael literally fills all the empty space left inside of him even after all this time. Derek feels whole. He hates that Mikael has that much power, but there it is. Now he has to decide if he's going to continue to let him have it, or if he's going to say no and go through life with a mind, heart and soul full of voids that can only be filled in one way, by one man.

He sinks into the mattress behind him gasping for air. Mikael has swallowed down all of his cum. The other man crawls up the bed and pulls sheets down, pulls pillows and sheets from beneath Derek, sets his cup/ashtray to the bedside table. Mikael slides beneath the sheets with Derek and pulls Derek to him.

"You're staying?" Derek's whisper is quiet as he curls in against Mikael.

"I'm staying, darling." Mikael answers. "We'll talk tomorrow."

 

* * *

 

It takes Derek awhile to fall asleep. There's a part of him that still can't believe that Mikael is here. He wakes up when Mikael does for a smoke. Derek says nothing. Mikael doesn't either. Mikael kisses him as he smokes. He touches Derek all over and Derek gets the idea that Mikael can't quite believe he's with Derek either. Then they fall back asleep together.

By morning, Derek is stretching beneath the sheets. Mikael's body is against his own, the man is still asleep and Derek gets to look at him unguarded. Mikael, when awake, is always cunning, always thinking, always planning. When asleep, Mikael is a different person. He's handsome either way. Derek wonders if Mikael ever lets himself truly relax when he isn't sleeping.

Derek rolls out of bed to go tend to some morning business. He hears movement behind him and he finds Mikael standing in the doorway to the bathroom, rubbing his hands over his face. "It shouldn't be morning yet, should it?"

"It came too soon." Derek says. "Shower?"

Mikael's lips twist into a wry grin and he nods. They shower together. Derek doesn't let Mikael wash him. He washes himself. Then he washes Mikael. They kiss. They touch. They linger in the shower for too long until the water runs colder. Then they get out.

They need to talk. Derek knows this. He pulls on some jeans and a tee. Then he watches Mikael redress in his suit.

"Do you have a place to stay?"

"I do, darling. I'd love to show it to you soon."

"Zane."

"Is hidden away. Don't worry about him."

"Jesse's been in custody. They found out he-"

"Zane told me."

"I'm not the same man you used to love." Derek says, his tone is stubborn. He refuses to go back to where he was. He's done so much work to get here to where he is.

"I'm aware." Mikael says. "I still want you."

"How can you know that?"

"Because I know you."

"You don't know me. You know what they made me into, and then what you made me into."

"I know you, Derek. I know the important parts of you. Maybe you have changed and I'll learn those bits of you too. I've changed too. But I still want you."

"It's been two years."

"And you still want me too." 

Derek starts to argue but Mikael shakes his head. "Don't pretend with me, Derek. I will be patient. I will take time to know all of you. But don't pretend that your reaction to me is nothing, that what I make you feel is nothing, that last night was nothing. That's a lie. I don't tolerate those who lie to me very well. And you, you're better than that."

Mikael has pulled on his suit and moved closer to Derek. "You want me every bit as much as I want you. And you will learn about me as I learn about you."

"I can't be with someone who's buying and selling people."

"You give me so little credit. It's been two years, Derek. Why do you think that is? Why do you think it took so long? I know that out here you could never be with me as I was. You have a conscience and sensibilities. I've been working hard to get back into your life in the right way for that very reason." Mikael says. "On top of that, I am not stupid. You're surrounded by federal agents. Do you really think I would put myself in that kind of danger? It took over two years for a reason."

"Because you were getting out of the business."

"That. And I had people I had to take care of. I had to let time pass and make things right. Derek, even without your physical presence you have been my entire life. Everything I've done has been for you." He tilts his head. "Sound familiar?"

Yes. When Antoine had died Mikael said Derek had been his life then too, even before Derek had come to him. Derek hates that he's jealous and hurt that Mikael took care of everyone else except him. Yes, Derek was in a safe place. Yes, while this time has been hard, it's also been good for him. But he feels like he was set aside to make things easier for Mikael.

"Give me a little bit of credit, darling."

"What have you been doing?"

"I'll show you when I know you're ready." Mikael lights a clove. "My timeline, Derek. Not yours."

"Even without you here, you've been in my life too."

"I know, my lion. I know." Mikael says. "Give me your cell phone."

Derek unhooks his cell phone from the charger, enters the pass-code to get into it, then hands it over. "What are you doing?"

"Giving you my phone number."

"I don't even know your last name."

"Pomelov. Mikael Pomelov."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

Later that morning Derek is at the gym with Aaron. They've run on treadmills for awhile. Now Hotch has been standing spot for Derek while he lifts weights. It's when Derek doesn't push the weighted barbell up for a bit that Hotch prompts him.

"Bring it up, Derek."

Derek pushes the barbell up with a soft grunt and Aaron helps him to set it in the rack. For a moment Derek just lays there. Then he pushes up to sit. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

"About what?" Aaron sits on the bench next to him.

About Mikael. But can he tell Hotch that? He doesn't want to lie to him. "I met someone. And it's... possibly a big hot mess waiting to happen."

Aaron smirks. "Most relationships are big hot messes waiting to happen. No relationship is perfect. I have noticed that something's different about you today. Now I know what it is."

It's amazing, really. Derek feels different today. Hotch has noticed a difference. Derek wears Mikael on the outside as much as he does on the inside. "Different in a bad way?"

"No. Your eyes seem... brighter."

It's Derek's turn to smirk. "I've got a lot of baggage, Hotch."

"Everyone has baggage. The trick is finding baggage that works well with your own." Aaron leans over, bumps Derek's shoulder with his own. "Where'd you meet him?"

"He bought me a drink while I was out with Penelope the other night." It's not a lie. It's just a twist of the truth. He looks over to his friend. "It was pretty intense last night. But I don't think I really know him. It's... like I wanna dive into the deep end before I know it's safe."

"Do you feel like it isn't safe?"

"No. It isn't that. I won't let anyone hurt me." Derek says. "It's just... normal relationship stuff combined with my past."

"Do you want to get to know him?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Then there's your answer."

 

* * *

 

Derek is at his house doing some work. The window frames have gone up. Now he's working on electrical. Derek has taken a break and is halfway through a sandwich when he calls Penelope and puts her on speaker phone.

"Hey hot stuff. Are you at your work in progress?"

"Yeah. You'll be glad to know the wires are getting put into the walls."

"Where they belong! Yay! My hair and my clothes will thank you."

"You busy?"

"I have a few minutes. What's up?"

"I need you to do something for me without telling anyone about it."

"Oh, really? Like a covert op, huh? Okay. Lay it on me you sexy, sexy man."

"I need you to do a background check on the name Mikael Pomelov."

"Oooo intrigue, I like it. Let's see. Mikael Pomelov is... of Russian descent. He recently got dual citizenship here in the good ol' U.S. of A. Go him. And.... hey. Hey! He's the hotter Daniel Craig from the bar! Derek, what's going on?"

"I saw him last night. We..."

"You didn't." She makes this sound like the most sordid of affairs. "You did! Details. I wants details!"

"Baby girl, I need you to focus. The background check."

"Oh. Right. Uhm... well there's nothing here to tell. He has no record. He's not on anyone's radar. He owned a nightclub that he sold within the last year annnnd.... now he owns one here."

"He's clean?"

"As a whistle. Is he a good kisser?"

Mikael is clean? "Yeah."

"Is he as handsome out of a suit as he is in one?"

"Yeah." Mikael is clean.

"Okay, I have Hotch on the line. Gotta go! Details later, Mister. I want details!"

The phone call ends.

Derek is surprised that Mikael is clean. The more he thinks about it, he's also not surprised. A man like Mikael has always had someone do his dirty work for him. He pulls all the strings behind the scenes. On top of that, Mikael is smart. He's been careful over the years. If the Gallery files were wiped, then there's nothing for anyone to get on him.

Mikael is clean.

 

* * *

 

Derek has sworn to himself all day that he's not going to call Mikael. He's going to wait for Mikael to get in touch with him. He goes through the day working on his house. He meets Rossi and Reid for dinner and they catch up. It's a good time.

Then Derek is alone in his apartment, sitting on his couch. ESPN is on the television screen. Derek is looking at the television without really watching it. He's thinking about Mikael. Everything is Mikael right now.

He leans in and picks up his golden iPod. The pad of his thumb traces over the script engraved into the back.

`I absolutely adore you, you know. -M`

It's a few minutes later when Derek gives in and picks up his phone, finds Mikael's number and calls him.

"Hello, darling."

"I was just... uhm..." Well he really hasn't thought ahead here. He probably should have.

Thankfully Mikael helps him out. "Do you want me to come over?"

"If I said yes?"

"I would tell you to give me forty minutes or so."

"Then yeah, I want you to come over."

"Forty minutes... or so." Mikael sounds absolutely pleased.

It's just under forty minutes when there's a knock at the door. Derek is quick to answer it. Mikael stands there in a suit and tie, impeccable as always. He grins at Derek and enters the apartment when he steps aside to allow him in. Derek feels those same parts of him come to life again on the inside as he had felt last night.

Mikael is carrying a small bag with him. "I was hoping you would invite me."

"I have a feeling you knew I would." Derek says. "Overnight bag?"

Mikael chuckles and sets the bag down on the small table in the small dining area next to the kitchen. He unzips the top and withdraws three bottles of wine. They're all set on the table. Then he gets two ashtrays, one he sets on the coffee table in the living room. The other he sets on the bedside table in the bedroom. He brings the glass he'd used last night into the kitchen to wash it.

Mikael Pomelov is standing in his tiny kitchen in a thousand dollar suit and washing a glass at the sink. Will wonders never cease?

"If I'm going to be here, I need a few things, don't I?" It sounds like a question, but it really isn't one.

Derek steps over to the bag and pulls the flap aside to look inside. He sees a change of clothes, and a few necessities like a toothbrush, hair gel, etc.

"You're really living here close to me?"

"Yes." Mikael sets the glass aside to dry. "I have been for about three months now."

"Since you got dual citizenship."

"You've done some research."

Derek shrugs. "I'm not stupid either."

"No, you're not."

"So the Gallery's files were wiped."

"Yes, it took a ridiculous amount of time to be certain of that though."

"You're Russian. Were we in Russia before? Not at the beach, but... before."

"Da."

"You don't sound Russian. I've never been able to place your accent, or Antoine's."

"The Master's Circle has always been a mix, even when my father was in charge of it. Antoine and I were raised around several different nationalities. We are Russian. But our accent is admittedly a bit of a mix. I've always had the problem of picking up the dialect of whoever I'm with at any given moment."

"Carl Buford is still out there."

"I know. I'm still looking."

"Katherine?"

"She won't be a problem for either of us anymore." Mikael steps closer to Derek. "Shall we leave it at that?"

Mikael killed Katherine. Derek should feel bad about that. He should feel conflicted. He doesn't know what it says about him that he only feels an infinitesimal amount of both of those things.

"I still have to go to therapy once a week." Doctor Cohen has been good for Derek. As much as Derek wishes he were past the point of needing therapy, he knows he's not there yet.

"I think that's good." Mikael nods, reaching for one of Derek's hands.

"I told some of my friends about you."

Mikael smiles. "I knew you would. I think that's good too."

"I won't let you hurt me."

"Hurting you has never been my intent."

"What is your intent?"

"Loving you. Playing with you. Making you mine."

"And I guess you've got a plan for that just like you have a plan for everything else."

"I always have a plan, Derek. Sometimes I have several plans all at the same time."

While Mikael is absolutely honest about that, he also says it in a playful way. Mikael is teasing him. Derek smirks and looks away.

"It's easier that way, right?" Derek teases him right back. "That way if one falls through you always have a back up."

Mikael chuckles. "Exactly." His other hand reaches up to touch Derek's braids. "I like your hair this way. All of it in braids."

"Yeah, I... had a moment and cut everything off." Then it's had two years to grow back out. That was Derek's decision though. No one else's.

"Zane told me about it. A lion's mane is different than a horse's, Derek. This suits you."

"Are you gonna stay here tonight?"

"Do you want me to stay here tonight?"

"If I said yes?"

"I would say yes."

"I want you to stay here tonight."

"Good." Mikael says. "You'll need to empty a drawer or two for me." Mikael lets go of Derek's hand and picks up his bag to carry it into the bedroom.

Derek doesn't have very many things accumulated just yet. But what he does have, he's spread out so that every space is filled with something. It's easy to transfer what little is in one drawer of the bureau into another and leave one empty. He does the same in the bathroom. Mikael fills both drawers and puts some things in the shower.

As Mikael starts to remove his suit, Derek sits on the mattress at the foot of the bed and watches him. "Why am I the only one undressing?" Mikael asks.

"Because I like to watch you dress and undress." For some reason it's calming to Derek to watch Mikael do this in the orderly fashion that he always does it. His clothes are always folded neatly. Elegant hands work buttons and snaps and the knots of his ties with a beautiful fluidity.

Mikael smiles at Derek's answer. "So you'll be naked shortly after I am."

"Do you want me naked?"

Mikael turns Derek's question as of late back on him. "If I said yes?"

Derek feels his lips twist into a grin. "Then I'd say yes."

"I want you naked, Derek."

After Mikael undresses completely, then Derek undresses as well. He isn't quite so neat and orderly about it. His clothes go into a pile on the floor. Mikael seems amused by that.

They climb into bed and make love, Mikael kisses Derek everywhere again. This time Derek is allowed to touch. They're both heated, hard and ready when Derek's fingers have found a place they never have before. He's pressing his fingers to Mikael's tight opening, massaging there.

Ocean blue eyes look at him. "Do you want to, Derek?"

"If I said yes?" Derek whispers.

"I would say yes."

"I wanna be inside of you, Mikael."

"Then by all means. Yes."

Derek reaches for the bed stand and brings out the lube. He's never in his life done this before. It's only been done to him and with him. "If I do something wrong..."

"I'll tell you, darling. Please, get on with it. I want you." Mikael rolls onto his stomach and bends one knee up. "I've dreamed of this."

Derek dabbles some lubricant onto his fingertips and spreads it around Mikael's perineum, pushes a finger inside. "Has anyone ever had you like this?"

"Yes. But it has been a very, _very_ long time." Mikael says around a heavy exhale of breath. "Long before I knew of a wild, exotic lion like yourself."

Derek adds more lube and smirks. "I'm not exotic."

"That, my love, is in the eye of the beholder." Mikael says, making Derek's heart flutter to life. "Add another finger."

Derek adds a second finger, pushing deeper into the tight canal. "I've never understood how you fit inside me. How am I supposed to fit in here?"

"You will."

Mikael instructs him the entire way, tells him to add another finger, another, to twist and curl and pump them in and out. Derek does this until Mikael is writhing on the bed and telling Derek it's time. Derek pushes up to his knees and grips either side of Mikael's hips to pull him up. The tip of his cock pushes against Mikael's tight lubed hole.

"Push harder, Derek." Mikael gasps. "Harder, there you go."

The head of Derek's cock breaches that outer ring of muscle. He pushes in a little more and it already feels so damn good. "Oh my god." Derek exhales the words.

"Yes, darling. More."

Derek gives him more. He slowly pulls out and pushes in and in and in even more until Mikael is stretched around him and he's balls deep inside. He nestles there for a bit, just letting Mikael feel him like this, just letting himself feel Mikael like this.

That's all the restraint he has. He can't make himself go slow like Mikael can. Not when he wants and needs like this. He fucks Mikael hard and fast, with a wild abandon that makes him feel like that wild and exotic lion Mikael says he is.

Mikael makes the most beautiful sounds. Those sounds are for Derek. Mikael is doing this for Derek. Mikael is his. He's Mikael's.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

Every night for the next week, Mikael is at Derek's apartment. Derek is only a little bit ashamed to say that he's invited him over each and every night. They talk a lot. They fuck a lot. Most of the time Mikael fucks Derek. There are a few times that Derek fucks Mikael. Derek's body still prefers to have cock inside of it, there's no way around that.

There's one night when he thinks he can get through the whole night without contacting Mikael. It's well past midnight when he texts him, asks for him, and Mikael is there in 'forty minutes or so'. Derek is like a drug addict. Mikael is his drug of choice.

Derek knows that there are worse drugs in the world than Mikael Pomelov.

He's at the house he's working on. Penelope and Rossi had showed up with take out and the three of them are having another floor picnic. David is picking Derek's brain about his next book idea involving a case file where a woman was so obsessed with a man that it pushed her to commit a series of murders.

Cases involving obsession used to be Derek's specialties. The more he and David talk about he case, the more he wonders if he's obsessed with Mikael, if Mikael is obsessed with him.

"Hello, darling."

Speak of the devil.

Derek looks up to see Mikael in the middle of the work zone that is his fixer upper. Mikael is perfection except his necktie is loosened and the top button of his dress shirt unbuttoned. Rossi and Penelope are looking over at him, back to Derek, back to Mikael.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Uhm..." Mikael in this space with these people has completely thrown Derek off.

Penelope grins excitedly and gestures him over. "No! Come join us. We're having a floor picnic." Mikael walks into the room and settles down on the floor with them. Penelope offers her hand. "I'm Penelope."

"Penelope, Derek has told me about you. You're his best friend." He takes Penelope's hand and kisses her knuckles. She is positively enthralled with him.

"And you must be the infamous David Rossi if the photos on the book jackets have anything to say about it." Mikael offers David a hand. "Mikael Pomelov. It's a pleasure to meet such a prestigious author."

"You've read my books." David says.

"A few of them." Mikael says. "They're very interesting. I hope I'm not interrupting. I just came by hoping to find Derek."

"Oh no. You're saving me from a world of Profiler talk that shouldn't happen outside of Quantico." Penelope assures him. "Egg roll?"

"And how do you know Derek?" Rossi asks.

Mikael takes the offered egg roll with a quietly murmured 'thank you'. "We met at a bar, actually. Penelope was there, I remember."

"Yes, and you pulled a Houdini and disappeared." Penelope says. "But I see it all worked out. That's good. It's good. Right Derek? It's good."

"Yeah." Derek says, poking his fork in the carton of broccoli and beef. After a moment he offers the carton to Mikael who takes it and uses Derek's fork to take a bite. "You were just looking for me for no reason?"

"I wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night." Mikael offers Derek the carton of food back. Derek takes it. Mikael's hand rests on Derek's knee. "A date. What do you think?"

"Oh this is too sweet." Penelope says.

Rossi is looking skeptically to Mikael's hand on Derek's knee, up to Derek, over to Mikael.

"I'd like that." Derek nods. He likes _any_ time spent with Mikael lately. He needs it.

"What do you do, Mikael?" David asks.

"I run a nightclub."

"I can't quite place your accent."

"I was born in Russia."

"How long have you been in the states?"

"Five months or so, that is, on a permanent basis." Mikael answers. "I've been here many times before."

"Any family in the states?"

"No."

"Overseas?"

"No. It's just me, I'm afraid."

"Hey, Rossi." Derek says. "Give it a rest."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure Mikael knows that to date you there has to be a slight interrogation or two... or five." David only half-jokes. Obviously he's not entirely off the mark.

"I'd be surprised if there weren't." Mikael says, hand squeezing Derek's knee a bit. "Really, it's quite all right. They're your friends and they care about you."

The rest of the time goes smoothly. Mikael talks to David about a few of his books. Mikael is impressed with the work Derek has put into the house. Everyone goes their separate ways and when Derek finally gets back to his apartment Mikael is there waiting on him.

Mikael kisses him fiercely. Derek apologizes for Rossi's questions.

"It's all right, darling." He says. "They have to get used to me being in your life."

Derek nods. "They will."

 

* * *

 

Derek pulls his bike up to the address Mikael had given him. It's the front of a night club called Passion with a 'closed for the evening' sign in front of it. He almost thinks he's in the wrong place. But then a large man comes out of the front door, walking toward his bike.

"Are you Derek?"

"Yeah."

"Mikael is waiting for you."

Derek gets off his bike and removes his helmet. Then he follows the man inside. There's an entryway to the club, what looks like a large coat-check room off to the side and a security check to get into the main room. The main room is massive. The center of the room is a circular bar. There are tall tables spread out. Booths and curtained rooms around the exterior. There's a second floor too with more curtained rooms. The entire room is decorated in blacks and golds.

There are a few people around the room cleaning things but Derek's gaze lands on the man in the far corner booth. Mikael. Derek glances at the man who's led him inside. "Thank you."

Mikael spots him when Derek is halfway across the room and smiles and stands. "So what do you think?"

"You bought out the whole club for the night?"

"I own the club. I can close it if I wish." Mikael leans in to kiss at Derek's lips, then gestures to the booth. There's a 'reserved' sign on the table. Mikael sees Derek look at it. "It's always reserved for me. This is my table."

Derek slides into the booth and looks around. A man comes out and pours them both a glass of wine and then leaves.

"So what's underneath this place?" Derek has to ask it because of what was underneath the old club.

"A cellar that holds wine, beer and various other spirits. and equipment."

"And above it?"

"Housing for many of my employees."

"Do you live here?"

"On the top floor."

"Are the other Masters and Mistresses here?"

"Some of them. Some have gone off to follow their own pursuits while others stayed with me."

Dinner is served: steak and garlic potatoes. Dessert is a coffee cake that's delicious. Derek learns that this is officially a BDSM club with a very exclusive clientele. Each member pays fees. Each member is vetted and scrutinized until the Masters Circle agrees to accept them. Mikael is making money hand over fist.

It's while they're having dessert that Derek has his first moment of discomfort. Mikael spears a piece of cake and lifts the fork to Derek's lips. It's the first time Mikael has tried to feed him since he's seen him again. Derek ends up taking the fork and feeding himself. Mikael allows it. The moment passes.

"Do you think you could ever be comfortable in here?" Mikael has scooted closer in the booth, turned inward. His hand is massaging at Derek's crotch.

"I don't know." Derek's legs instinctively part beneath the table to let Mikael have his way. The button on his jeans snaps open. The zipper is pulled down. Mikael's hand is inside touching his cock and Derek can barely sit still even as he kisses Mikael.

"I want to fuck you on this table." Mikael speaks against his lips. "I sit here every night watching all manner of debauchery while I wait for you to call me and invite me to your place. I want to fuck my lion right here."

"Mikael there are people in here." Derek pulls his lips away to look around the room at the people cleaning.

"My employees. They'll understand." When Derek just looks at Mikael, the other men sighs and snaps his fingers at the man who had led Derek inside. "Empty the room."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone."

It takes several minutes, but the room is emptied, leaving Derek and Mikael alone. "Clothes off, darling." Mikael says.

Derek slides out of the booth, takes one more look around, then starts to disrobe. Mikael has stood too. His hands slide over Derek's skin as he undresses. Once Derek is naked, Mikael kisses him, guiding Derek back against the front side of the table.

"I don't want you to cum until I give you permission."

For a moment Derek studies Mikael. Then he nods. "You got it."

Mikael pats the side of Derek's hip. "Up on the table."

Derek sits up on the table and Mikael kisses him again. He rocks his hips a bit because the flat of the table is pressing the plug deeper into his ass and it feels good. Mikael's hand slides over Derek's abdomen, over his cock, down lower to fondle his balls. Derek has unbuckled Mikael's belt, pulled his dress shirt up, opened his fly and pulled Mikael's cock out. 

Another kiss and Mikael tells Derek to lie back. He lifts Derek's legs so that his ankles rest on Mikael's shoulders. Then he pulls the plug out.

It isn't like Mikael to hesitate. That's what makes Derek reach down to him, fingers gliding over the front of Mikael's dress shirt. "What is it?"

"I want you to want me as much as I want you."

"I do. Mikael, I do." Derek says. "I'm naked in a nightclub for you."

"An empty nightclub." Mikael kisses the inside of Derek's ankle at his shoulder, then he pushes into him. This is different because there's very little control. Mikael is usually the epitome of control, but now he fucks him hard and fast. Derek is happy with it. Sometimes it's nice to be fucked like this. It feels erratic. It feels almost desperate. It feels amazing. 

"Ah, I've wanted you in here for forever. I've imagined fucking you in every way on this table."Mikael grunts with each powerful thrust.

Every cry Derek emits echoes off the high ceilings and walls of the massive room. There are these sounds, panted breath, Mikael's dick shoving into him. "You have me, Master. You have me."

Mikael slows, looks down at Derek, held in the moment of Derek calling him Master. It takes Derek a moment to realize what he's done. He shakes his head. Mikael starts fucking him again. It's a beautiful, glorious feeling to be fucked just like this by Mikael. 

When Mikael is finished, he plugs Derek up again. Derek tries not to grin but it's a losing battle. He likes Mikael's cum in his ass. He lifts his hips up off of the table, a reminder to Mikael that he's still hard as a rock, aching and leaking.

Mikael tucks in his shirt and puts himself back together before sliding back into the circular booth, all the way into the corner of it. "Legs this way, Derek."

Derek shifts on the table, giving Mikael his legs and lying back again. Mikael makes sure that one of Derek's legs is on either side of him. Mikael's hand smooths lightly over Derek's thighs, close to his crotch but not quite there. it's such a comforting touch that Derek's body relaxes into it. 

"Derek, there are some things I need." Mikael starts. "But first I want to know what you need."

"What do you mean?"

"In what's between us. I want to know what you need from me." The snap of Mikael's fingers brings him out of that comfortable place Mikael's touch has left him in. 

Derek pushes up to his elbows as the man who led Derek in is there next to the table. Derek is still naked with his legs spread wide. He starts to move but Mikael holds his legs in place.

"Shh, my darling. It's all right." Mikael asks the man for another drink. The man leaves and returns moments later with a fresh glass of wine, then leaves again. Mikael sips his wine, watching Derek over the rim of the glass. "Lie back, Derek. I just want to look at you like this for a bit."

Derek lies back. Mikael resumes his touch. It's been a long time since anyone but Mikael has seen him naked. That was a surprise. Mikael had meant to surprise him. Mikael doesn't do anything without forethought. "I don't want strangers seeing me naked without me knowing about it."

"Of course. I apologize. Forgive me? Forgive me, darling." Mikael is nuzzling his sac and Derek has a very easy time forgiving Mikael his mistake. For a long time, Mikael looks at him like this. For a long time he touches and fondles Derek. The unfinished conversation from before is forgotten.

When Mikael finally lets him cum, Derek's orgasm is strong and quick. It ripples through his body like a wild thing set free. Derek sits up on the table and Mikael has a drizzle of Derek's cum swiped up onto his fingertips, holding it up to Derek. 

Derek hesitates, then leans down to suckle it from Mikael's fingers.

"Beautiful." Mikael coos, dipping his fingers through more of Derek's spunk and feeding it to him. "Now I have a surprise for you. Are you ready for more surprises, Derek?"

"Do surprises involve you?" 

Mikael hums and nods.

"Then I'm ready for anything."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

After Derek has pulled his clothes back on, Mikael takes his hand and leads him back into a hallway where he punches in a code to get a hidden elevator door to open. They step inside and Mikael turns in toward him to kiss him. Derek kisses back. Mikael's kisses make him feel whole, no matter how twisted or strange or fractured he might be at any given time, Mikael's kisses do good things for him from the inside out.

"Remember that I've told you that everything I've done has been for you?" Mikael asks against Derek's lips.

"Yeah. I don't really need anything else. Except maybe more cake. I'm kinda wondering if there's more coffee cake."

Mikael laughs. "I'll be sure to save some for you."

"I think I've earned it after the show in the club."

"Yes, you have. All the coffee cake for the visuals you just gave me to carry me through the week."

"You really always sit at that table?"

"Yes. And yes, I think of you."

Derek thinks that's sweet, that Mikael, while the world around him is x-rated every night, is thinking of him. He leans over to take another kiss. "Are we going to your room on the top floor? I'd be cool with that."

Mikael grins. "The floor just below."

The elevator doors open and Mikael leads Derek out into a hallway. He pauses outside some double doors. "I did something for you. This is another reason why it took over two years for me to get things settled. Now..." Mikael shakes his head. "I couldn't keep them all."

Mikael pushes the doors open and Derek steps into the room. He can't believe what he's looking at. A room with various sized pallets all around it as well as furniture. Soft tones and comfortable. There are naked people in here. Familiar naked people.

He's pummeled from the side by a tiny silver-haired thing holding onto him. He can barely believe it. It takes him a minute to hug her back. "Lily?"

"Derek, we miss you. So glad here."

"Hey, hey! It's about time!" Dare is crossing the room, all smiles. Lily and Dare are naked. Derek feels like he should be naked too. Dare engulfs both Derek and Lily in a tight hug.

"Your Master saved us. Pretty cool, right?"

Derek is shocked, overwhelmed with surprise and emotion. "What?" He looks back at Mikael. The man is standing at the door, having lit a clove. The spiced scent reaches him right then. Whatever he's feeling right now, he can't define it or explain it. It's powerful though. Mikael knew these were his friends and he did this for him.

He feels tears come to his eyes and he holds onto Dare and Lily tightly. "I can't believe it. I can't believe it."

"Believe it. The Mistress was gonna leave us with someone else. But... he convinced her that he would care for us. And he has. This place is kind of awesome."

Lily pulls back and looks up at him. "He say you come someday, when you are ready." When she gets a good look at Derek, her look turns worried, her delicate hand touches his face, tracing one of the scars.

Is he ready? Yes, he's been ready to see these people for years. "He's taken care of you?"

"Hell yeah! Look at this place. We get to work in the club downstairs every night. We get to stay here together." It's the best scenario Derek could have hoped for for them. "The Masters Circle is working with us... you know, to help."

"Dare..." Lily's hand is cupping Derek face.

Sometimes Derek forgets about his scars these days. Now that Dare has noticed them too, he looks angry, of all things. Anger looks scary on Dare. "Who did that to you?"

Derek looks down, pulling away from Lily's touch. "A bad man."

"You tell us someday." Lily says, doing her best in her stilted English to say that they're here if he needs to talk.

"Well scars are bad ass. That's what I hear anyway." Dare says. "I wanna hear about it someday."

"Yeah, someday." Derek says. "Are you all taken care of?"

"In every way. The Masters and Mistresses here are nice to us. They let us please them when we want or need it. Your own Master's been working with us too, teaching us to take care of ourselves." Dare cants his head to the corner where Jai is curled up by himself. "He's... not handling being away from the Mistress all that well. I think you get that."

"Maybe you talk to him?" Lily's small hand circles around Derek's wrist. "Your Master very kind to us. Jai is hard to reach. He was closest to the Mistress. He hurts."

"Yeah, I'll talk to him." He nods, looking back to Mikael. "Can I stay here awhile?"

"Of course." Mikael says. "And Derek, you're free to do whatever you need to do in here."

Derek walks over to Mikael, places a hand on either side of his face and kisses him. Mikael kisses him back, a clove and wine laced kiss. "Thank you." He whispers, unsure if that's enough to thank Mikael for _this_ amazing thing. Derek will be thanking him for years to come. Mikael did this for him.

He steps back and pulls his clothes off again. He needs to be naked with these people. It's illogical, but it's what feels right. There is no explaining it. He needs to be with them.

Once his clothes are off, he goes over to Jai. Bran stands up in Derek's direct path and knocks Derek's shoulder with his own. "What took you so fucking long to get here?"

"I didn't know you were here." A memory of something Mikael said to him hits him then. "Mikael needed to make sure I was ready."

"Yeah, your Master's a real peach." It sounds sarcastic, but Derek can read Bran well enough to know that he means it. "Not all of us made it. Two of us went back to their lives from before. Three... well, they opted out of life without the Mistress."

They killed themselves. Derek's heart hurts.

"That one back there isn't doing too well. I've been keeping a close eye on him."

Derek looks over to Jai. Everything about Jai looks familiar. Derek has been where Jai is right now. "It's gonna take some time."

"It's been over two fucking years."

"It's gonna take some time." He repeats.

"Did you kill the bastard who cut up your face and your back?"

"No. He's still out there."

"Your head in the right order?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then." Bran nods, claps a hand on Derek's shoulder and steps out of the way so that Derek can get to Jai. Bran can seem tough as nails, but he's watching out for everyone in this room. Derek is glad for that.

Derek sits on the large pallet next to Jai. "Hey." He reaches out to take Jai's hand in his. Dark eyes look back at him. Jai shifts from leaning against the wall to leaning against Derek. Derek wraps his arms around the other man and just holds him. "It's gonna be okay. I know it doesn't seem like it right now. Eventually, it'll be okay."

"Have you been with the FBI?"

"Yeah."

"Have you seen her, Derek?"

"No." Derek hasn't wanted to see the Mistress. "No, I haven't."

"Wherever she is, she must be so unhappy. And we cannot please her. Who is pleasing her? Who is doing her bidding?"

Derek feels the wet of Jai's tears against his shoulder. His own eyes mist over because yes, he knows exactly how this feels. It's like the bottom has fallen out and you just keep falling... falling... falling... and there's no end in sight. Derek has to focus on Jai because a part of him suddenly wants to go upstairs and do whatever it takes to please Mikael.

"Jai, this is a good place for you. The pets who weren't in the harem, they didn't end up in places like this." They're in safe houses where they get psychologically evaluated every day. Derek isn't sure that that's the better way for people like them to live. From Derek's perspective, Mikael did what was right for these pets.

"This is a nice place. It is not home." Home is with Jai's Mistress, Derek knows that. He can empathize with it. Derek lives in a nice place. He's lived in a nice place since the beach; Jesse's house, Rossi's house, his own apartment. None of those places have really felt like home. Home is...

"I know." Home is with Mikael. Jai's home is locked away in prison for the rest of her's and Jai's life. "I know."

"I need my Mistress to please just as you need your Master."

It would be a lie to say that Derek doesn't need Mikael. Hearing it said like that makes Derek start thinking about why he needs Mikael.

"I can't get her for you, Jai. I'm sorry." Derek says. "No one can. But you have these people who care about you. Bran, Dare, Lily and me. We care about you. We love you."

"I am not who you loved. I am broken."

"We still love you. We'll help you put the pieces back together, okay?" Derek kisses Jai. Jai kisses him back. "There's an end to this fall, Jai. We'll help you get there."

Derek holds Jai for awhile. They both cry. Derek has no idea why he's crying except that he cares for these people so much. And he never cried when he left Mikael with Zane and Jesse. He never cried a lot of the times he wanted to. Those tears come now, with Jai. Jai holds him like he understands everything. Derek does the same for Jai.

Eventually they lie down on the largest pallet in the room. Lily, Dare and Bran join them. Jai is in the middle, surrounded by bodies. They do the same for Derek. They touch and they kiss. Derek licks at Lily's pussy until he tastes cum while Bran plows into him from behind. Jai fucks Dare while Derek suckles at Dare's breasts. Bran's kiss is bruising, Bran likes leaving bruises. Lily's touch is delicate and soft. Dare is playful. Jai, who once ruled them all, welcomes their instruction and follows their lead. 

Eventually they sleep in a tangle of limbs and warm bodies. This feels good. Derek feels almost complete. The void left inside lies with the man upstairs, Mikael Pomelov, his Master.

It's the middle of the night and Derek thinks he should be smelling cloves. But he doesn't. He isn't in bed with Mikael. Mikael hasn't woken up for his mid-night smoke. Instead, he's surrounded by warm bodies and he lets himself nestle into that for just a little bit. His heart breaks for Jai. Listening to the other man speak, crying with him, Derek knows how he feels. He'd felt the same when he lost Antoine. Jai is Derek. Derek is Jai. They're the same at different points in their timeline.

Derek feels tears in his eyes again for no good reason. He remembers the question Mikael had asked at dinner that had gone unanswered:

_Derek, there are some things I need. But first I want to know what you need._

What does he need? No one has asked him that, not even Doctor Cohen. Derek has been working so hard not to be who the Gallery made him into that he hasn't even asked himself that. He's been working so hard at trying to find out who he is now that he's ignored the parts of him that have been changed through his experiences with the Gallery. He's been fighting Mikael without even realizing he's fighting Mikael.

What does Derek need? What does Mikael need?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

He shifts to pull away from the group, careful to jostle the others as little as possible. It's Dare who wakes up and reaches for Derek's hand. "You all right?"

"Yeah." Derek whispers. "I need to go upstairs."

"Don't stay away too long." Dare says softly, squeezing Derek's hand in his before letting go.

Derek smiles just a bit. "I won't."

Derek pads barefoot across the floor to gather his clothes up in his arms. He doesn't put them on. He holds them to his chest and walks out into the hallway. There's a hidden elevator in the wall here somewhere. He turns to one of the guards. "Can you help me get upstairs?"

The man seems to know who he is and where he's wanting to go. There's no question. Just a nod. Mikael always seems to plan for every scenario to make the path as easy as possible for Derek. It's Derek who's been making things difficult. 

The guard punches a code into a hidden key panel and the elevator appears and slides open. He steps into the elevator with Derek. A floor up, he points to a door at the end of the hallway. "He's in there."

Derek walks down the hallway to the right door and looks at the guard standing there. Once again, there's no question, no argument. The man nods and opens the door. Derek walks into his Master's domain.

The room is dark with a large four posted bed in the middle. Lights from the city and moonlight stream into the room from the windows. Mikael's form is asleep in the bed beneath silken sheets. There's a moment of deja vu where he flashes back to their time in Russia. Derek drops his clothes to the floor and walks quietly over to the bed. He kneels on the floor next to the bed and stares at the man asleep in the bed.

What does he need?

When Mikael starts to stir, stretching beneath the sheets in that way that means he's about to sit up and smoke a cigarette, Derek gets a clove from the table at the side of the bed, a lighter and an ashtray. Hearing the sound, Mikael sits up a bit and watches Derek. Derek lights Mikael's cigarette for him and then hands it to him.

"What you did for them, what you're doing for them, I'll never be able to repay you for that." He shakes his head. "You didn't have to do that but you did it for me. I know you did it for me. You've done all of this for me and I don't understand why. I'm more trouble than I'm worth. I'm confused and I make things hard. I don't know what I need."

"Come up here with me, darling."

Derek climbs up into the bed. He's crying again. Once the tears had started downstairs with the harem, he'd been unable to stop, it seems. "I thought when you came for me you'd be taking me away. But you haven't. You've done all this... why?"

"Because you're my endgame, Derek." Mikael says. "I inherited a business. No, that isn't an excuse. But it's no less true. I let myself inherit that business so that Antoine could do what he wanted with his life. And I ran that business just as well as my father did, maybe even better. It was the life I knew, the life I have always known. When the Gallery went down, that was my out. I'm ready for this change, Derek. I'm hungry for it. It wasn't worth keeping it up if it meant losing you. You're mine."

"Why?"

"Because reordering my life is a small concession when compared to what I'm getting with you. You are unique, Derek. There's no one else like you."

"I'm not the man you loved. I'm trying so hard _not_ to be what they made me into. I don't mean to fight you, Mikael, but I am. I'm fighting you. Because I have no idea how to be who I want to be out there and who I want to be when I'm with you. I don't know what I need. And I don't know how to let myself have what you want to give me. I don't know how to do both. I don't know what I need."

"Come here, darling." Mikael pulls Derek close, holding onto him, kissing his brow. He kisses Derek's cheeks too, kissing away the dampness there. "I can show you how to do both. Let me show you."

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Of what people will think if I choose you and what I think you want from me." Derek shakes his head, thinking of Hotch, Reid and the rest, the way they look at him sometimes in his nightmares. "They want me to keep doing better. I don't think they'd understand."

"It isn't their place to understand, Derek. You were sold into the Gallery and irrevocably changed. If they expect you to be the same man you were before, that's their problem, not yours." Mikael says. "And you seem to be doing rather well for yourself out there. No one wants to undo that, least of all me. There is no reason you can't keep doing as well as you are out there and also have what we both need. I have turned my world upside-down to be with you the way you are out there."

"Why?"

"Because what you are out there is what you've always held onto through everything. Even when we were in Russia, you were that man. I saw that in you and I tried to nurture that in what small ways I could. I made you speak and fight and think. I gave you that, didn't I Derek?"

"Yeah." Mikael had re-ignited parts of Derek that had been dormant before.

"Here." Mikael places the filter of his cigarette to Derek's lips. Derek takes a drag of the spiced clove into him. It feels like he's drawing Mikael himself inside.

"I want to say some things to you, my darling and I want you to listen carefully. Hear every word I say." Derek nods against Mikael's shoulder. "You _are_ the man I loved. You're the man who was always inside, the lion I wanted to draw out, wild and dangerous and beautiful. That fire was almost snuffed out by the Gallery. But you can never fully tame a wild beast, not really. It's the beast that chooses when it will be tame. It's the lion that choose _who_ it will be tame for.

"You have the power here. You have the power to choose who to be tame for and when. That's what makes the moments when you allow it to happen so beautiful. Because with anyone else and at any moment you could roar and bite and claw and kill. You have the most power between us, between you and anyone. Because you choose. You're in control.

"Those moments when I'm in control of you are because you let me be in control. This is what I've wanted from you.

"I've been a dictator for much of my life to cowering pets who were already broken when I got them. I know it's harsh to call them mindless, brainless things... but it's the truth. It's also something that was done to them. So many people want broken things. So many are easily broken." Mikael takes another drag from his cigarette. "Not you.

"You fight every step of the way and I want you to keep fighting. My courageous lion, king of the jungle, dangerous to everyone but me... because you _choose_ to be so.

"So how do we do both? Out there, you are mine. In here, you are mine. In here I wish for you to call me Master and do as I say because you want to do both. In here I want to show you all the things I love to do, things I would have done with you before we ran out of time. Out there, we are together, nothing more, nothing less unless you want more or less." Mikael says. "I know what you need. I think you do too, you're fighting it though. Just know that what you need and what I need are the same thing in the end. There is fine print we can tweak as we go along, as we learn how to live in this new life. But in the end, I need to be a Master. You need a Master to please. You need to be the tamed lion. I need to be your chosen lion tamer."

Derek says nothing, taking in every word and committing it to memory. Mikael continues to hold him, elegant fingers gently caressing over Derek's skin until he falls asleep in Mikael's arms.

 

* * *

 

When Derek starts to wake up, his head is aching in that way it does for everyone after they've had a good cry. Mikael's words are still fresh in his mind. He lies there on his stomach, encased in silken sheets, with his eyes closed and just replays everything from the night before.

Dare, Lily, Jai and Bran are here. Mikael saved them, has kept them safe, for Derek. They're on the floor right below here. Derek can see them and be with them anytime he wants. Maybe he can take them out with him to the house he's working on. Maybe he can help Jai find a solid floor beneath him again.

Derek wants Mikael to be his Master. He also wants his life he's worked so hard to build back up out there. Why can't he have both? Can he have both? Mikael says that he can.

Fingertips glide down over the line of Derek's spine from the back of his neck, all the way down to the small of his back, and further down still to the round of his ass. Lips press to one shoulder blade. Those fingertips start to trace over the criss-crossed scars over Derek's back.

"I absolutely adore you, you know." Mikael says.

Derek smiles, eyes still closed.

"Look at that smile... I love it." Another kiss to Derek's shoulder. "Wake up and talk to me darling. Tell me where your mind is at."

Where is his mind at? It's reeling with everything that happened last night. "I still can't believe they're here." His friends from the Gallery.

"Even though you've seen it with your own eyes?"

"Even though..." Derek rolls onto his side and looks up to Mikael. He's silent for awhile, trying to put his thoughts into some kind of order. "Nothing that you said last night is wrong. I just don't know how to get what I want."

"But you know what you want." Derek nods. Mikael smiles and continues. "Do you want me?"

"If I said yes?"

"I would say an emphatic yes."

"Yes, I want you."

" _Yes_." Mikael kisses Derek. Derek kisses back. "Do you choose me, my lion?"

"I choose you." They share another kiss. "If I asked you to help me? If I asked you to be my Master?"

"Yes. I would say yes." Mikael answers. "If I asked you if I could be your Master?"

"I'll have to think about it." His lips play around another smile that makes Mikael tackle him amid a tangle of silken sheets. Derek is laughing. "Yes! I would say yes."

Mikael is straddling Derek. Derek has let him have his wrists and now they're pressed into the pillows above his head. "Yes, what?" Mikael asks, hips rocking over Derek's cock.

"Yes, Master." The words come naturally to him, easily. It might just be the easiest thing he's done in a long, long time. It's his choice. It's what he wants. It's Mikael. And it's easy.

They kiss again. And again. "I can't wear a collar out there."

"I know."

"I can't call you Master out there."

"I know."

"I won't get on my knees out there."

"I know. You get on your knees for no one but me and only when you're comfortable doing so."

"No one but you." Derek agrees. "If I'm yours, are you mine?"

"Yours."

"Yours, Master." This makes Mikael smile. Derek smiles too. "I'll want to be around the others a lot. I think I can help Jai."

"Of course." Mikael nods, his expression turning dark as he rolls off of Derek and lies back. "I think you can help him as well. I've tried. I tried with them all, but we lost a few. The separation was too great a burden for them."

"And you took some of them back to their lives from before."

"Yes, they wanted to go."

"You've done everything you could." Literally everything. There's nothing more that Derek could have asked of Mikael regarding the others. And the crux of it is that Mikael did it because he knew it mattered to Derek. Derek hadn't even had to ask. It must have been one of the first things he'd done after they left the beach house. The act still amazes Derek. It will amaze him for a long time to come.

Derek leans down and kisses Mikael's cheek, his lips, his other cheek and his lips again. And again. "I love you, Master."

Mikael hums. "I love you too, darling."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

It's two weeks later and Derek has kept busy. He's spent most of his time working at the house or at Passion visiting with his friends there or being with his Master. He's never there during working hours. Derek isn't ready for that yet. But he's been talking with Jai a lot. Jai almost smiled at him today and Derek thinks of that as a great step forward.

He's had two more sessions with Doctor Cohen where he's talked about what's been happening with him and Mikael. Doctor Cohen has reiterated the truth that Derek can have both the life he wants outside and the life he wants with Mikael. Gray has also started to explain to Derek that it isn't the living of two different lives. It's only one cohesive life. Derek can have a life, singular, where he gets everything he wants and needs. Derek is trying to erase the lines he's drawn between the two. It's going to take some time.

He's gone out with Penelope a few times and he's filled her in on some of the juicy details she wanted to know about him and Mikael. Just enough to let her know that he's happy with Mikael. Just enough to feed her curiosity. Just enough to make him feel less like he's keeping Mikael a secret and more like he's a part of his life outside of Passion, outside of the past.

Last night, after the club closed, Derek went to Passion to be with his Master. Mikael has told Derek to lie down on the floor on his stomach. Derek's cheek rests against a plush pillow. Mikael is at a wooden chest, digging around for something.

"Not all bondage, not all control or the relinquishment of it, is about ropes and leathers and chains." Mikael says. "Although I do enjoy all of those things. Sometimes, and especially with you, there's beauty in the lack of those things, in the bindings being invisible, in the gift of control being a choice. A choice where you choose to give all of your control, all of your emotions, all of you, to me."

"I already choose you, Master."

"Yes, and now you will choose to do as I say, my beautiful lion." Mikael comes back to Derek and kneels behind him between Derek's legs. He pulls the plug from Derek's ass that he had put there that morning. The plug is replaced with something longer and thicker. Mikael slowly works it deep inside Derek until it's secured by the tight ring of muscle.

"Now, bend your knees darling." Mikael helps Derek to bend his knees up so that his legs are spread wide and open against the floor. A lift of Derek's hips lets him pull Derek's cock down so that Mikael can see it. "The soles of your feet together.

Derek's legs form a diamond against the floor. He's instructed to clasp his hands behind his back and he does so. Mikael shows Derek a small gold and black metal ball. When he shakes it, it jingles. "This ball is not to hit the floor. Understood?"

"Yes, Master." Derek is surprised when the ball is placed in the crease between the soles of his feet. He's supposed to hold it up this way. Okay. He can do this.

Then Mikael presses a button at the base of whatever he'd put inside of Derek and it starts vibrating. Derek's entire body reacts with a gasp and a jerk. His hands unclasp and his palms hit the floor to push himself up a bit. The ball jingles with a bounce to the floor and rolls.

Mikael chuckles low. "Feet together, darling. Lie back down and let's try it again. Do it for me."

Derek lies back to the floor, cheek on the pillow and presses the soles of his feet together. The vibration in his ass is already driving him wild. But Mikael has retrieved the ball and replaced it on Derek's feet. Derek is determined not to let it fall again.

"Hands."

Derek's hands clasp behind his back again.

"All of your attention is in this, Derek. All of your effort is in remaining like this as long as I wish it. How long can you remain this way?" Mikael's fingertips slide back up Derek's spine.

"Until you want me to stop." Derek answers.

"Perfect. Beautiful." Mikael says. "Don't move."

His Master pulls away, leaving him here, bound by a tiny gold and black jingle ball and his own stubborn need to please Mikael. For awhile, Mikael sits in a chair nearby and simply watches Derek. Eventually he leaves to tend to business within the club.

It's hours later Derek is still lying there. The muscles in his legs ache. His cock is uncomfortable, pulled down the way it is. His shoulders hurt from strain of his body nearing orgasm and his keeping himself from allowing it. But he's still on the floor. He's calm. His body is on the edge of something intense but its calm here, like the eye in the middle of the storm. He wants to shift and writhe and grind himself against the floor. He does none of these things.

He's floating in pleasure and pain and it's a wonderful feeling. There is nothing but this.

He doesn't hear Mikael enter the room. He doesn't know how long his Master has been here but he eventually feels a soft touch to his back, a presence to his side, a press of the toy in his ass that makes him emit a wanton whine of pleasure. The jingle ball is still rested on top of his joined feet.

"Beautiful." Mikael whispers. "Derek, you're beautiful. Don't let the ball fall, darling." His Master is pulling the vibrating toy out and pushing it back in. Out and in. Out and in.

Derek is making sounds that he isn't sure are his. But yes, they're him. His hands clutch tighter behind his back. He doesn't move his feet so the ball is secure.

"Now cum."

With those two words, Derek's body shudders and the intensity of his pleasure is great. The ball at his feet jingles just a bit, but doesn't slip away. Derek spills his release onto the floor. He doesn't realize it, but Mikael has lifted the ball away. His Master's hand smooths over Derek's back, over his buttocks, over his thighs and down to his feet.

"Shh Darling. Just rest for a bit... just rest." His Master says. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

 

* * *

 

Derek is working on his house. He'd spent the better part of the day with Mikael and then a few hours with Dare, Jai, Lily and Bran. He might have spent all day there except that he isn't ready to see the nightlife of Passion yet. Mikael had understood and Derek had come here to work until he can meet up with Mikael after closing.

It feels good to work. It feels different because he isn't so preoccupied with Mikael. Knowing where he and Mikael stand, or where they want to stand, does wonders for him. He's been working for several hours and Penelope has texted him the pub where the group is having a beer. Derek locks up the house and heads for his bike.

He's on his way to the pub when he sees it, when he sees himself. The bike swerves and he has to get control of it and pull over. He takes off his helmet and looks up.

On a massive billboard in the middle of the heart of the city, there he is in a cage in a basement on his knees with his hands bound behind his back. The word 'WHORE' is blazoned in red next to his picture.

Derek forgets to breathe. He can hear his heart thudding up into his throat and ears, reverberating through him like he's in the ocean underneath the water. Derek's gaze darts around him to the people walking on the street, the traffic, the shops and bars and businesses around here.

Everyone can see it.

Breathe.

Derek breathes in a deep breath.

When he looks back at the billboard he notices the web address. He gets out his cell phone and puts in the address. What he finds there is horrifying. It's video after video of his time in that basement with Carl and his thugs, his being raped again and again.

Everyone can see it.

Breathe.

Derek breathes in a deep breath.

He stops the video and pulls up his camera to take a photo of the billboard. His phone is put away and his helmet is back on. He takes several deep breaths before he starts his bike again and heads to the pub. Derek spots two more billboards similar to the last on his way with the word 'WHORE' emblazoned on them in red. One has him bent over with a garden hose in his ass. One has him bent over with cock in his ass. How long have they been there?

Everyone can see it.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Derek has to pull over and stop twice on his way to the pub because he thinks he's panicking. The last time he reminds himself that he's a lion, wild and courageous and dangerous. Lions don't have panic attacks. Derek breathes and he doesn't have another panic attack. He's a lion.

He enters the pub and spots his friends right away. "Hotch."

"Hey..." Aaron is all smiles until he sees the look on Derek's face. "What's wrong?"

He hates that he's ruining everyone's fun. Rossi, Reid, Penelope... they're all looking at him now. Derek pulls up the photo on his phone and shows Aaron.

"This was on the way here?" Aaron asks.

"Yeah."

"What is it?" David asks. Hotch shares Derek's phone. They all look at it.

"Oh my god. Derek..." Penelope walks over to him and rests a hand on his arm. "That is not okay."

Derek does his best to be the lion. He's humiliated. He's also pissed off. Derek is the lion, hard eyes on fire, chin lifted defiantly, dangerous to everyone.

"It's gotta be Buford." David says.

"Yeah, Garcia can try to track who paid for the billboard." Reid offers, looking up to Derek. "Did you see more than one?"

"Yeah."

"He's messing with you, Derek." Aaron says. "I know it's hard not to let him get to you. But in a way this answers a question we've had for awhile now. It's the first evidence that he's still watching you that we've had in some time."

Breathe.

Derek draws in a deep breathe.

"We'll get him, Derek." Rossi says. "We'll get him."

 

* * *

 

Whether he's ready or not, Derek is back at Passion. This time the club parking lot isn't empty. This time there's music coming from inside. This time there are bouncers at the door. 

For awhile Derek just sits on his bike in the parking lot. Eventually his need to see Mikael wins out. His helmet comes off and he's heading for the door. The bouncers, who Derek has never seen before, recognize him.

"Mr. Morgan, this way." One of them says.

He's led inside. There are people inside checking a guest list. He spots Jai in the coat check room to the side. Mikael was so nice to give him work out of the main room while Jai works through his grief. In the main room there are both familiar faces and not. Some of the Masters and Mistresses he remembers seeing from the Circle. Some are new. Most of the subs in the place are new faces. He spots Dare, Lily and Bran in skimpy leather outfits serving drinks and such.

Mikael is at his corner table, a dark, blue-eyed bastion in a sea of leather and chains. Derek sees only him and heads there, his lighthouse in stormy seas.

The moment Mikael sees him, he smiles in surprise. That smile is short lived when he sees Derek's face. "Derek?"

Derek slides into the booth next to Mikael. Only then does he let himself really look around. There's someone tied to a wooden 'X' on the stage. One of the Mistresses is up there with a whip. Sex is happening everywhere. Masters and pets are everywhere.

Mikael's hand is on his. "Derek, what happened?"

The touch and the question pull Derek's attention back to Mikael. "That person on stage."

"Has signed a waiver to play here. That is his Mistress." Mikael says, leaning in close to Derek. "See how she doesn't break skin? She's an expert with the whip. What that man did to you was a mockery of Mistress Y'lanna's talent."

His Master's hand squeezes his own. "Now, what happened?"

Derek leans back in his seat and fishes his cell phone from his pocket. He slouches in the booth and thumbs through screens until he gets to the photo of the billboard, then he passes his phone to Mikael.

Mikael enlarges the photo, eyes narrowing when he recognizes the man in the cage. "What is this?"

Derek leans his head back against the back of the seat and closes his eyes. "It's me."

"Yes, but when? You're claustrophobic."

"When Carl first abducted me. Before Martin took me to the Gallery."

"And what is the website?"

"Video. They videoed what they did."

"It's a billboard?"

"Yeah."

"Is there only one?"

"No."

"Darling, look at me."

Derek opens his eyes and turns his head to the side to look at Mikael.

"This is an attempt to get to you."

"Yeah. I panicked a little at first. Then... then I just got pissed off. My friends are looking into it. Then I needed you." Derek says. "If he's watching me I brought him here."

"If he's watching you, he already knows about this place. It's all right. You didn't know." Mikael assures Derek. "I'll notify security."

Mikael's hand presses to Derek's cheek, bringing his attention back over to him. "You are not a whore. Da?"

"I'm not a whore."


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

After that first day, Derek starts seeing the billboards everywhere, all over the city. Penelope has followed the trail to a bank account overseas that is shut down the day before she finds it. Hotch is trying to get an injunction to take the billboards down. The website with the videos on it has been taken down by Derek's best friend, only after it had millions of views. How long the billboards and website had been up before Derek noticed them is anyone's guess.

Derek has added a knife to his daily attire. He keeps it in a hidden sheath in his boot. He feels safer being armed again.

When he's in the room with his friends at Passion, all of his clothes come off. It's just natural being with them in this way. No one judges them for feeling more comfortable naked. 

They're lounging about together. Derek is combing his fingers through Lily's hair in the way she likes. Dare is leaning a shoulder against Derek's. Jai and Bran are sitting close by.

"Billboards, huh?" Dare says with a shake of his head. "What an asshole. I mean I'm trying to imagine the photos that used to be in our room in the harem plastered out there in huge billboards for everyone to see and it's kinda squicking me out."

"Squicking isn't a word, dumb ass." Bran says with a smirk.

Dare rolls his eyes to the ceiling as if to say 'I know, dumb ass'. "Three words: internet, and urban dictionary. Okay that's four words but the 'and' doesn't count."

Mikael has given all of them laptops and phones and whatever else they've asked for so that they can catch up with the world they've been out of for so long. They even have clothes that are their own in the closet, although none of them wear anything in here. Mikael is good for and to them in a lot of ways.

Bran touches his foot to Dare's then immediately sobers and looks at Derek. "Same guy who cut up your face and whipped you like that?"

"Yeah. And yeah, he's an asshole." Derek agrees with a nod.

"Your Master not let him hurt you again." Lily says.

"If he can help it. I'm not sure he can." Derek isn't sure anyone can help him through this. Carl is obsessed. Carl is toying with him. Carl will come for him again.

"So you fight." Bran says. "You don't have to submit to everyone anymore. You submit to whoever the hell you wanna fucking submit to, and you fight the rest. He comes at you, Derek, you kick his ass."

"I'd like to kick his ass, but he likes to use drugs." Derek says. Although he isn't sure that Carl would have access to Ketamine without Martin's help. Also, there's an even bigger history here with Carl than he's told these people. Carl has a way of making Derek feel like a vulnerable kid again, a kid who keeps Carl's horrible secrets quiet because he's scared, alone and guilty.

Derek opens up and tells them then, about his history with Carl. About when he was a kid and Carl took advantage of him after he lost his dad. About putting him in prison years later. About his escape and his raping and kidnapping Derek. How he ended up in the Gallery because of Martin. About what happened at Mikael's place with his Master's ex-wife and Carl. About how he got these scars. He tells them all of it. Derek never said anything when he was a kid. Now he's getting better at talking about it as he's an adult.

"He is horrible man." Lily says, turning back to hug Derek.

"I hope your friends catch him, Derek." It's the first time Jai has spoke up through all of this.

Derek offers him a small smile. "I hope so too. I wouldn't do what he wanted me to do the first time. And I was pretty low, with the whole Katherine thing when I saw him the second time. But I have no idea how I'd be around him now."

"You're your Master's lion. You've told us that." Dare presses his shoulder against Derek's. "Be a lion."

Bran nods. "If he tries anything before he's caught, you wait for your moment and then you kick his ass."

Someone clears their throat in the room. Mikael is standing at the door smiling softly at the scene before him. "I trust all is well in here?"

"We're good, Sir." Dare says. "Only things this slumber party is missing are pizza, ice cream and a stupid movie that no one pays attention to, maybe a pillow fight."

"If you want all of that you need only ask."

"Dare jokes, Sir." Lily says. "All is well with us."

"Good." Mikael gives Lily a smile that transforms his chiseled features into something kind and gentle. Then he looks at Derek and that gentleness turns possessive in a way that makes Derek's insides ripple to life. Mikael is his. Derek is Mikael's. "Derek, I'd like to see you upstairs when you have a moment."

Derek's lips play at a smile as his fingers continue to pull through Lily's soft, platinum hair. "Yes, Master."

Mikael leaves the room and Derek stays where he is. Everyone is quiet. Everyone is watching Derek expectantly.

It's Dare who breaks the silence. "Oh come on. We all know you wanna go to him. So go."

Derek smiles and scoots out from behind Lily. "I'm going, I'm going..."

Upstairs, Derek finds Mikael pacing the floor, speaking on the phone with someone. He kneels on the floor close to Mikael's chair and waits. On the small table by the chair is the gold and black jingle ball and a small, leather rod with straps at either end of it.

Mikael continues his phone call, coming over to Derek and reaching down to slide his fingers over the side of Derek's face. Derek tilts his head up and closes his eyes, letting his Master gently trace his features. It feels good.

When the call ends, Mikael sits in his chair and crosses one leg over the other. He picks up the leather rod and straps and holds it out to Derek. "I want you to hold this. Look at it. Study it."

Derek unclasps his hands from behind his back and takes the light-weight leather rod.

"Feel the weight of it, the shape of it." Mikael says. "Know it."

The rod is just a few inches long and very slim. The straps on either end are leather strips with snaps on the ends. "What is it, Master?"

"I want to try to put it in your mouth." Before Derek can protest, Mikael holds a hand up. "I know you don't like things that can hold your mouth open. This is like a bit, small, it won't hold your mouth all the way open. It isn't metal, it's leather. And you can let me know that it needs to be removed at any time."

"I'm..." Derek shakes his head. "Not sure about this."

"Look at it, Derek. It's an inanimate object. You have power over it." Mikael continues. "And look at me. You trust me. I won't give you more than I think you're ready for."

Derek studies the small leather bit gag. Can he do this? Yes. He looks up to Mikael. Will he do this for his Master? Yes. "Okay."

"Tell me what you're thinking. I want to hear your words, Derek."

"I can take it off at any time?"

"You can point to it and I will take it off."

"I'll do this for you, Master." He says. "I wanna do this for you."

Mikael nods and stands, holding a hand out for the bit which Derek hands to him. Mikael steps around behind him and places the bit in his mouth. He snaps the metal snaps at the back of his head. "I will take this off if I think it's too much for you, Derek."

The promise helps. Derek's eyes only mist over for a brief moment after the bit is put into his mouth before they dry up again. He can do this. He wants to do this for Mikael. Maybe he also wants to do it for himself, to fight this fear that he's had since the Catacombs of the Gallery.

"You're doing so well, darling." Mikael lets Derek sit for a little while just like that, lets him have time to grow accustomed to the bit in his mouth and gives himself time to make sure that Derek will be okay. Then he tells Derek to stand and come over to the foot of the bed. "Bend over the mattress. Arms stretched tight above your head, hands together, palms down, against the sheets."

Derek bends over, rests his cheek to silken sheets and stretches his arms up above his head. His palms rest against the sheets. Mikael tells him he wants his thumbs touching and Derek does that. The jingle ball is placed on top of Derek's hands. It weighs nothing, but it might as well weigh a ton for how it serves to keep Derek in place for Mikael.

"Do not allow the ball to fall."

His Master guides him to spread his legs wider. Derek's feet stand wider on the floor without losing the ball from his hands. His Master tells him to stick his ass out and Derek curves his spine just so to give his Master what he wants.

"Stay." Mikael tells him, his hand petting at Derek's ass briefly, pressing against the plug, and then leaving him there for awhile.

Derek is handling the leather bit better than he'd thought he would. He's actually proud of himself. Since the catacombs, any time anything is put in his mouth aside from a cock, he ends up a mess. He's not a mess right now. Derek is in control. He trusts Mikael. He's Mikael's lion. He can handle this.

It's some time later that Mikael has sat on the side of the bed that Derek is facing. He lays a leather strap in front of him, a foot and a half long and two inches in width.

"I won't lie to you. It's going to hurt, darling."

Derek looks up to Mikael from the corner of his eyes. "On my back, Master?" He speaks around the bit so the words are barely intelligible.

Mikael understands him though. "Does it matter?"

No. No, it doesn't matter. Derek is just trying to be in control in ways he shouldn't be in control. He shakes his head to let his Master know that it doesn't matter.

Mikael smiles. "I don't want you to let the ball fall away from your hands."

Again, Derek shakes his head. The ball won't fall away.

"Very good, my lion."

Mikael slides off the bed, taking the leather with him. Derek hears him shifting around. He's prepared for the feel of leather on his skin. He's prepared for pain. What he feels is the gentle caress of Mikael's fingertips sliding down over his ass, squeezing at the flesh there, pressing to the base of the plug. It feels good.

There's barely any transition. The caress is gone and the flat of the leather hits his skin almost in the same moment. It stings. His body jerks so that he almost loses the ball. Somehow it stays in place on top of his hands though.

Mikael's hand is petting at the place on Derek's hip where the leather had hit. "Breathe, darling. Breathe."

Derek breathes.

Again, the shift is quick and unexpected. One moment Mikael is petting him, the next the leather slaps hard against his skin. Mikael pets him again in the place he hit, both soothing and seemingly drawing out the pain. It's a strange and heady mixture that Derek has no idea how to compute. Is it supposed to feel bad? Because it doesn't. What does it mean if he thinks this feels good?

"You're inside your head, darling. Get out of it and give all of that to me." Mikael says.

Derek breathes. He takes several deep breaths as Mikael pets his lower back, his ass. 

The next hit comes sharp and hard, slapping against the plug in his ass and pushing it deeper inside that overly sensitive place. He has to remember the ball on his hands. It jingles a bit, but it doesn't move from his hands.

Derek cries out, not in pain, but with pleasure. It's surprising to him, to hear that kind of sound while Mikael's palm is rubbing out the stinging sensation from the strap. He gives that to Mikael. He gives all of this, whatever it is, to Mikael. 

Several more hits and Derek is gasping for breath. His skin is red hot where the strap has landed. His heart is red hot. His mind is red hot. He is Mikael's. Mikael is his. He groans and pushes his ass back wantonly at Mikael, a silent plea to either give him more or fuck him.

"Beautiful." He hears his Master say. Or maybe he thought it. He isn't sure which is which anymore.

The strap lands once more and Derek once again cries out. The ball jingles. At the last second he arches his fingers up to keep it in place on top of his hands.

"Very good, my lion. You're perfect." The ball is taken from his hands and set aside. Then his Master is pulling the plug from his ass.

Derek rocks back, groaning, his entire self is saying YES. His Master doesn't disappoint. Mikael's cock is filling him up, thick and long and pushing deeper inside of him with each thrust. This is perfection. This is everything. Mikael and what he makes Derek feel is everything.

"Cum for me." Mikael says.

A part of him realizes that Mikael hasn't cum yet. Most of him is in a mental place where Mikael could tell him to roll around in the dirt and he would do it, happily. Derek spills onto the floor at the foot of the bed, his body rocking back against his Master, muscles clenching tight around the cock in his ass, fingers clawing at the bed sheets.

His entire body shudders with his orgasm.

"Shhh..." Mikael pets his lower back, still slowly rocking inside of him, a slow, luxurious fuck that leaves Derek feeling on edge even after the intensity of his pleasure has abated. His Master continues to pet, continues to fuck, slowly picking up speed. "Mine, Derek. You're mine."

Derek feels his Master's spill inside of him then. He hopes his Master plugs him up with it inside for awhile. His body is still alive, on fire, left wanting with the prolonged fuck after his orgasm.

Mikael leans over Derek. "Cum for me."

Derek cums again. Mikael always has a plan.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

When the phone call comes a week later, Derek has mixed feelings. He feels bad for those mixed feelings because he loves Jesse. He just has no idea how Mikael will react to Jesse if he ever sees him. Derek and Mikael are just starting to find their balance. Derek doesn't want to upset that.

Here he is though, on his bike outside of the psychiatric facility. Jesse is being led out by some guards, past tall fences with barbed wire on top of them. Derek's heart skips a beat. Jesse looks good. It looks like Jesse maintained use of the gym while inside. His head is freshly shaved.

Derek has this overwhelming feeling of safety that surprises him. Jesse, no matter where or when, will always be a safe harbor to Derek.

He climbs off his bike and meets Jesse halfway with a heartfelt hug. Jesse holds on tight. Derek returns the hold and won't let go until Jesse does.

"I missed you so much." Jesse says.

"I missed you too."

"I've worried about you."

"We've talked a lot on the phone. You know I'm doing all right."

"Yeah, hearing it isn't the same as seeing it." Jesse pulls back and looks Derek over. "You look really good."

"So do you." Derek smiles a bit. "Ready to get out of here?"

" _So_ ready."

They get onto his bike and Derek is reminded of riding behind Jesse to get anywhere when they'd first come back. This time Derek is in the driver's seat. This time Jesse is holding onto his waist tightly, pressed in against his back, cheek nestled on his shoulder. Derek likes that.

"No sign of Zane yet?" Jesse asks.

"Nah. Mikael says he's safe."

"Good."

He drives them back to Jesse's house. He's been here a few times over the last two and a half years to air it out, check on things, make sure Jesse will have a safe place to come back to when he's let out. Now that time has come.

The key is always under the planter. Jesse gets it and they go inside. Derek opens some windows to let the air in. Jesse turns on the air conditioning.

There aren't any apologies to be given. There's very little to go over of the past because they've already gone over all of that on the phone. What's between them now is mostly comfortable.

"I filled your fridge with some groceries so..." Derek says. "You can just have some time here to decompress."

"Thanks. So how does it feel to be on the other side?" Jesse says. "I'm usually the one looking out for you."

"It feels good." Derek answers with a grin. "I like helping. I like being needed."

"You're both of those things." Jesse comes closer and takes one of Derek's hands in his. "I think I'm gonna take a road trip. See my family and my dog... maybe get a new dog."

"How long?"

"Worried about me?"

"Maybe a little."

"A week. I have your cell and I'll call."

Derek nods. "I'll call you too."

"Do you still love me, Derek?"

"I always tell you I love you on the phone."

"Yeah, it's not the same as hearing it in person."

"I still love you."

"I still love you too."

Derek leans in to kiss the corner of Jesse's lips.

Jesse chases the kiss and steals one more from Derek. He squeezes Derek's hand and nods. "I'll be in touch. Maybe when I get back I can go by and see Mikael."

"That'd be good. If I don't hear from you in a few days I'll come looking for you."

Jesse grins. "You'll hear from me. I promise."

 

* * *

 

Derek hears from Jesse every day, sometimes more than once a day, either through text or phone call. He's glad for that because he truly would have worried about him. Transitioning into the world after being in the Gallery or even locked up in any kind of facility isn't easy. Derek also knows that seeing family isn't easy after what they've all been through.

Jesse sends him pictures of his road trip, random texts about what he's doing. He calls Derek at night to talk and Derek is glad to talk with him. Jesse sounds good. Jesse sounds free.

Derek knows the difference that freedom can make for a person. He knows that freedom feels good once you let yourself have it. Therein lies the trick of it, allowing yourself to be free. Not all cages are so obvious as wooden boxes and metal bars. Some cages are so easily slipped back into, the door locked, even after you've thought you had escaped them.

There are some things that so irrevocably change a person that freedom is a day to day battle.

The roller brush smoothes up over newly sheet rocked walls. Derek has been working at the house for the better part of the day. Penelope and Reid have been by and gone already. Jesse has been texting him throughout the day. Mikael has texted him a few times and called once. Derek never really feels alone and he likes it that way.

He can be alone and do things on his own. But he's never truly alone. There are always people he trusts within reach.

Mikael's phone call is what's on his mind right now. His Master wants him to think about coming into the club during working hours for play. Derek has no idea what that might entail although Mikael assures him that they will go slow, nothing more than Derek can handle. Mikael wants Derek to trust him. Derek is learning that, with Mikael, he can say no if he needs to. Mikael is learning to be less of a dictator and more of a Master. They're both changing, learning how to be with one another out here.

Passion is a public forum, kind of. But it's also a controlled public forum. Mikael won't give Derek more than he can handle. Derek needs to trust Mikael.

A knock sounds on the door frame behind him. Derek turns to see Aaron. Hotch hasn't been out to this house yet. This is the first time.

"Hey. Thought it was time I came out to see the house everyone is talking about." Aaron looks around. "It's looking really good. How about a tour?"

Over the next half hour, Derek leads Hotch around the old house and shows him each room, tells him about all the work he's done and what's left to do. They laugh and joke and talk. Derek offers Aaron a beer and they drink together.

"So Jesse Mendez was let out."

"Yeah. I went to pick him up and took him home."

"That went okay?"

"It did." Derek nods. "He's visiting his family now."

"That's good."

"He's not a bad guy, Hotch. He just... the Gallery messes with you. It's hard to let that go and I don't know if you ever _can_ fully let it go. Maybe it's something that just is and always will be no matter how you spin it."

"Can you move on from it?"

"You can only go forward. You can't go backward."

They both grow silent again, drinking their beers. It's a companionable silence. But Derek can tell Hotch wants to say something.

"I can tell something's on your mind." Derek finally says. "How about we get it over with?"

"Yeah, we need to talk."

Derek smirks. "Anytime you say that lately, it's never good."

"I know." Aaron nods. "I promised Penelope I would talk to you. She's scared you're going to be angry with her."

"Why would I be angry with her?"

"Because Rossi made her look deeper into Mikael Pomelov's background."

Derek feels an uncomfortable spike of anxiety on the inside, but works very hard to remain cool and calm on the outside. "You're all looking out for me. I get it. So what'd she find?"

"That he used to have a younger brother named Antoine Pomelov."

Hotch is watching him. Derek stays calm. Derek doesn't say anything.

"The man who bought you from the Gallery, his name was Antoine."

Derek says nothing.

"Are they the same man, Derek?" Aaron asks bluntly.

"I love Mikael." Derek says. "I need Mikael."

"That's not what I asked."

"What does it matter, Hotch?" Derek asks. "What are you trying to do?"

"I'm looking after you."

"You're looking after me in the wrong place." He shakes his head and points in the general direction of outside. "Carl Buford is out there. Did you get that injunction to take the billboards down yet?"

"No."

"That's how you can look after me. Make it so I don't have to see that crap every damn day."

Aaron skips right over the change in topic and is steadfast and resolved in his line of questioning. "Are you being coerced or manipulated by Mikael Pomelov, Derek? Is he holding something over you to keep you with him?"

"What? No!" Derek pats a hand against his chest. "Being with him is my choice. I chose him, Hotch. I don't need you to understand that. I do need you to accept it."

"Do you know that his father was suspected of human trafficking?"

"I know."

"Is Antoine really dead?"

Derek looks down to the floor and sighs. He still misses Antoine sometimes. "Yeah. He died of cancer."

"Did Antoine purchase you from the Gallery?"

"Yes."

"And now you're with his brother."

Derek's gaze snaps back up to Aaron, eyes narrowed. "You gonna judge me now?"

Hotch is calm as ever. "I'm not judging you. I just want to make sure you aren't being taken advantage of or manipulated in any way."

"No one's taking advantage of me. No one's manipulating me. All Mikael is doing is helping me."

"Helping you how?"

Derek smirks, takes a healthy pull from his beer. "Do you know how much what you think of me matters to me, Hotch?"

Aaron is silent. Aaron knows how Much Derek wants his respect as well as his friendship. What Aaron thinks of him matters. That's why it's hard to talk about what he gets from Mikael to him. He doesn't want Aaron's opinion of what he should or shouldn't be doing to soil their friendship.

"I need... things. I need things that Mikael gives me. I'm out here doing my best to put my life back together, only it doesn't go back together the way it used to. I'm different, okay? You all want your happy ending where everything is as it used to be and I can't give you that! I'm trying, but it's not happening. Your happy ending isn't the same as mine."

Derek shakes his head. "I'll tell you what though... Where I am right now, in the life I'm building that _includes_ Mikael, I feel more put back together than I have in a _long_ time. You try to take that away from me and I'm done."

"You're done what?"

"I'm done trying here. I'm leaving, starting over fresh away from everyone who knew me. You take the rug out from underneath me again, I'm done Hotch. I can't try to start over here again."

Aaron and Derek stare at each other for a long while before Aaron speaks again. "Was Antoine with the Gallery?"

"No." Derek shakes his head. "He just bought me from them. And honestly, it could've been worse. Antoine never really hurt me."

"Is Mikael with the Gallery? Was he ever?"

"No." Mikael did business with the Gallery. He wasn't in the Gallery.

"That nightclub he runs..."

"Is none of your business. It's legit, Hotch. He has all the permits he needs and there are consent forms people have to sign. People are vetted before they're allowed inside to do whatever they do." Derek says. "Mikael runs a tight ship and it's a safe environment."

"Do you participate?"

"Does it matter?" Derek has never played publicly with Mikael at Passion. He's done things with Mikael behind closed doors that Hotch would probably question. "I won't let him hurt me, Hotch. No one's twisting my arm or using me or making me into something I don't wanna be. No one's carving out parts of me and taking them away like they did in the Gallery. Mikael is putting me back together.

"He's not perfect. Neither am I." Far from perfect. "But what Mikael and me do together is no one's business but ours. I might tell you about it someday. Right now I'm pretty sure you're on a witch hunt so I'm gonna wait."

"Derek..."

"You care about me. All of you care. I get that. And that's the only reason we're still standing here talking about it."

Hotch nods. "I'll make sure the others let it go. But I want you to know that if something changes, you can come to me. No judgement, Derek. You can come to me."

"I know I can. I came to you about the billboards. I'll come to you if I'm in trouble." Derek says. "You keep me safe." It's a simplistic statement. The Gallery once made him boil everything down to the most simplistic of terms. But it's still true. Hotch tries his hardest to keep Derek safe.

"Sometimes I wish I could do more to keep you safe. Sometimes I wish I had done more."

Derek crosses over to him and holds onto Hotch with a tight embrace. He knows his friend blames himself for a lot of what happened in the beginning and when Derek had run back to try to be with Antoine. The FBI always has red tape to work with. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

"Hey. You do everything you can." Derek leans back, a hand on Aaron's shoulder. "Don't think I don't see that. Cause I do. You do everything you can."

Hotch does everything he can within the confines of the law. That means that Hotch's hands are tied a lot of times. People like Carl Buford no longer have boundaries that include the law. Therein lies the problem.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

When Jesse gets back from his trip he has a german shorthaired pointer puppy that he's named Molly. He's brought her by the house Derek is working on and Derek is currently sitting on the floor, legs crossed, with a puppy in his lap petting at her ears.

"I'm not sure how you don't fall in love with a face like that." He says, grinning up to Jesse.

"Yeah. She won me over in about half a second." Jesse says. "My mom said she looked like a Molly so... Molly it is."

"Hey, in my book Mama's always right." Derek would always say the same of his own mom too. "So how was it? Seeing them again after so long..."

Jesse sits down on the floor in front of Derek and shrugs. "It was hard. They still love me. I still love them. But it's been... years. So it was hard. I'm different."

In a lot of ways Jesse is Derek. Derek is Jesse.

"I get that more than I can say." Derek watches Jesse reach out to give his fingers to Molly to lick. "She already knows who her person is."

"Yeah." Jesse smiles a bit. The silence stretches. It's comfortable. "They're putting me on a desk job at Quantico. Guarding the front entryway. I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"You altered files. They're gonna be careful with you for awhile. They'll monitor you just to make sure they can trust you again."

"Are you ever going back?"

"I want to. It's just gonna take some time."

"I'm lucky they didn't fire me. Over two years in psych but... they didn't fire me." Jesse shakes his head. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"You were trying to keep us together. You loved Zane. You loved me. You were trying to please Mikael just like we all were. That's what you were thinking." Derek answers for him with a shrug. Molly yips at Jesse and tries to playfully bite at his fingers.

"You're really okay out here. You said it so many times on the phone... but now I'm seeing it and you're really okay." Jesse looks surprised, happy.

"I'm really okay."

"I don't know how you survived what they did to you."

"Me either." Derek says. "I try to look at the present more than the past. The past is for my therapy sessions with Doctor Cohen. Maybe you should try to get appointments with him. He's good."

"Maybe I will." Jesse nods. "When can you take me in to see Mikael?"

"Today if you want."

Jesse nods. "Today. I wanna get it over with. He needs to know we're still gonna be friends and he has to be okay with that."

Derek grins at Jesse. "He'll be okay with us being friends. He's... good for me, Jesse. He's really good for me."

"I know." Jesse says. "I wanna be good for you too."

 

* * *

 

Derek has texted Mikael and asked him to meet him on the main floor of Passion. The guards let Jesse in because he's with Derek. Mikael is across the main room in his corner booth looking at something on his phone. He looks up when Derek is ushered in and starts to smile. That smile is stunted when he sees who's with Derek.

Mikael slides out of his booth and stands up. In this instance, those ocean blue eyes are ice cold. In this instance, Mikael looks every bit as frightening as he is capable of being. In this instance, Mikael is every bit the man who can make people disappear if he wants them to.

His Master holds out his hand. "Derek? Come over here with me."

Derek walks over to Mikael and puts his hand into his Master's. "Just hear him out. You don't have to agree with him and you don't even have to like him. Just listen to what he has to say for me, because he's my friend."

Icy blues meet his gaze and then Mikael looks back to Jesse. "I'm listening." The message is clear. Mikael is only doing this because Derek has asked him to.

"I don't think it's fair for you to be angry with me, Sir."

Well. That isn't what Derek had thought Jesse would say at all. He looks at his Master, who seems to have turned even more stone cold than before. Then he smirks and shakes his head. "He didn't mean that."

"That's exactly what I mean." Jesse says.

"Did you hear that, darling? He says that's exactly what he means. He's the reason we were apart for so long and he thinks my anger with him is unfair." Mikael's voice sounds eerily calm, even calmer than normal. His tone is dripping with condescension and danger. "Poor, poor boy. Please, by all means, continue Agent Mendez."

Jesse meets Mikael head on. "I lived a lie for a long time. I did horrible things to make that lie seem real, to bring down horrible people like the ones who tried to break your lion." Jesse's phrasing is very smart here. Mikael hadn't wanted the mindless, brainless thing that the Gallery wanted to make him into.

Mikael's eyes narrow, his chin lifts a bit. He's listening.

Jesse continues. "I learned that Derek was FBI and I guess that's what drew me to him at first. Then he was this strong, unbreakable pet and I..." Jesse stops here, shaking his head.

He must have been diverting from the path he wanted to take because he veers in a different direction entirely. "I was meant to be extracted from the Gallery when the feds came in. But the Mistress sent me with Derek to try to help him cope with your brother's death and with being in a new place with a new Master. She wanted to give him something familiar, and she knew that I... was fond of him. Things went off script when that happened. I met you and Zane and... things got confusing. I woke up one morning and I gave a shit about someone more than Derek and the mission. That wasn't a part of the plan."

"Are you saying that Zane and I are the ones you gave a _shit_ about? How touching." Mikael says. "And perhaps too little, too late."

Derek gently squeezes Mikael's hand in his and nods at Jesse to continue.

"Yes I care about you. I tried to do everything I could to keep us together for you after we had to separate for awhile. I kept Derek and Zane with me at my house. I altered Zane's records since I knew mine and Derek's people would be looking into him. I kept up Derek's schedule that you gave him even while he had to do what was expected of him here too. I've made so many concessions for you and your lifestyle even though I didn't agree with all of it." Jesse says. "You haven't made a single concession for me and that's why it's unfair."

"Are you finished?" Mikael asks.

"Have you ever even considered the position I was in? Have you even tried to look at things from my side?"

"Agent Mendez," Mikael's voice is smooth and cold. "Are you quite finished?"

"I miss Zane. I miss Derek. I-..."

Jesse is cut off by Mikael's sharp tone. "Derek is mine."

"I know, Sir."

"Zane is mine."

Jesse nods. "I know, Sir."

"You..." Mikaels looks Jesse over from the top of his head to the floor and back up again. "are nothing more than an afterthought."

The look on Jesse's face is a clear sign that Mikael might as well have slapped Jesse, stabbed him in the heart. It's the painful look of someone who's just been dealt a serious emotional blow.

"Mikael..." Derek whispers.

Mikael looks at Derek, his chiseled features softening a bit as he reaches up to touch his fingers over Derek's features. "You were a liar before I could fully make you mine, Jesse. I don't make time for liars in my life."

Jesse seems to exhale a breath he'd been holding and shake his head. "I did what I could."

"However," Mikael's hands slip away from Derek and he gets a cigarette case from the inside pocket of his suit coat. He lights a clove. Derek inhales the scent of it. "Derek seems to want you in his life in spite of your treachery. Zane seems to want you in his life as well in spite of the way you broke his heart. That's two of mine that want you... and where does that leave us, Agent Mendez?"

No one speaks. Jesse is looking hopeful again. Mikael is looking cold as ever in a shroud of clove scented smoke. Derek watches the exchange, gaze landing on Mikael and silently willing him to do the right thing.

Surprisingly, it's Derek that Mikael addresses. "I want your thoughts, Derek."

"Well..." Derek looks between the two men again. "I think if you keep calling him Agent Mendez as if it's an insult, you're gonna have to start calling me Agent Morgan in the same way."

"You're no longer with the FBI."

"That might not always be the case." Derek says. Mikael watches him curiously. "I tried to do the job I used to do awhile back. I couldn't handle it. I'd like to think that someday I might be able to handle it if I want to again. Someday I might want to."

Mikael hrms and takes another thoughtful drag from his cigarette.

"He did what he could, Master." Derek says. "And look at us now."

A corner of Mikael's lips twitches as if he wants to grin but won't allow himself to do so in this moment in front of Jesse. "Yes, look at us now."

Again, Mikael eyes Jesse. "So where does that leave us, Jesse? I believe I can tolerate you for them and you will tolerate me."

"I'll more than tolerate you, Mikael." Jesse says.

"If I suspect even the smallest of infractions, an infinitesimal amount of duplicity..." Mikael says. "If you hurt Derek..."

"I know." Jesse nods. "I know. There won't be any infractions. I'd never hurt Derek if I could help it. I'll still do what I can for all of you." Jesse pauses, once again weighing whether or not to say something. He finally decides to say it. "Can I see Zane?"

"Not yet." Mikael says. "You broke his heart, Jesse. I've never seen Zane cry over someone who wasn't family before." Again, Mikael's words are like daggers. They hit their mark on Jesse's heart just as intended. "Not only has he had to stay hidden from your friends at the FBI, but he's also busy doing something for me. I don't know when he'll be done."

"Okay. I can wait." Jesse says with a nod. "Thanks for hearing me out."

"I did that for Derek. Now get out of here." His hand rests on Derek's arm. "You don't have to go, darling."

"I drove him here. I'll see you after closing tonight, right?"

"Yes, always."

Derek kisses Mikael. Mikael kisses Derek. It's a good kiss that holds the promise of more later.

"Thank you." Derek whispers.

"Only for you, my lion."

 

* * *

 

They're back at the house where Jesse had left his vehicle and Molly in the back yard of the house. They go outside to get her and Derek can't help but ask Jesse about some of the things he'd said to Mikael.

"You knew I was FBI in the Gallery?"

"The Brutes were bragging about what they did to the FBI guy. It made me wanna see you." Jesse says, petting at Molly's ears. "And then I saw you and you glared at me and it was over. I just... I was gonna try to extract you with me when the time came. Then things got even more complicated."

Derek smirks and nods. "Things always seem to get complicated, right?" 

"Yeah. They do."

"I knew I wasn't seeing things with you. I knew you cared. There were times though, when I thought I might be making it up. You know, looking for someone to care about me as more than whatever they were making me into."

Derek looks at Jesse. "Mikael will come around."

"I hope so." Jesse says. "What do you think he has Zane doing?"

"There's no telling. I haven't asked because I think if Zane is seen by any of my friends or any of yours, he'll be arrested. He hasn't been as careful as Mikael was."

"Yeah, I saw the file. I'm not sure the words 'careful' and 'Zane' go in the same sentence."

They both laugh and Derek shakes his head. "No, I guess they don't. Reckless, maybe."

"Bulldozer, maybe." Jesse says.

"Hurricane, maybe."

"Spazz, maybe."

Neither of them are wrong.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

It's a handful of days later that Derek finds himself in Mikael's rooms on the top floor as Passion is opening for business down on the bottom floor. So far he's avoided the majority of the Passion lifestyle and those who immerse themselves in it. Even the night he'd showed up after first seeing the billboards, he hadn't really let himself look at all that much, hadn't let himself really watch and see the people around him or be a part of the atmosphere.

Now, he's standing in Mikael's closet, letting his Master lace up the sides of his leather pants so that they cling to him like a second skin. He's already wearing a leather harness, straps that form an 'X' over his chest that almost remind him of the tack Antoine used to put him in.

"If at any time you need to come back upstairs, you need only say the word." Mikael tells him.

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise. I'll take care of you, darling. Just trust me." Mikael moves to the front of Derek and unties, tightens and reties the laces that hold his cock into the garment.

"This is me trusting you." This is Derek taking a giant leap of faith and hoping that Mikael will catch him. It's a huge step. Derek hasn't done anything like this out here. Yes, he's been naked in a public forum before where no one blinked an eye at it. That wasn't in this life out here that he's trying to piece together. This is something else entirely different. "Guess I'm a little nervous."

"You're beautiful. Everyone will be looking at you. Everyone will be envious of me." Mikael smiles a bit as he stands. "Which I realize does very little to help your nerves. You're my lion, Derek. Be brave for me."

"I will... for you." Derek watches Mikael cross the large closet to open a drawer. He opens a box within the drawer to bring back a gold chain. He holds it out to show it to Derek. The golden chain is long and has a thin strip of black leather interwoven in the large chains.

"I got this for you. Will you wear it?"

"It's too long to be a collar."

"It's both a necklace and a collar so that you can wear it all the time if you wish." Mikael gestures for Derek to turn and face the floor to ceiling mirror. Derek turns around. The chain is circled around Derek's neck twice. It's a length that could pass for two necklaces. But then Mikael pulls it tighter and winds each end around his neck one more time. It looks like four thin gold chains and leather strips against his neck, like a collar.

It looks good. It feels right.

"I'll wear it, Master." Derek's words earn a grin from Mikael who clasps the chain at the back of his neck. 

It's amazing what this moment does for Derek. It's unexpected, but he feels so beautiful right now. He feels more beautiful than he has since his face was cut up, since he was separated from Mikael.

"Thank you." He whispers.

"For what, darling?" Mikael is straightening his necktie in the reflection over Derek's shoulder.

"For making me feel the way you make me feel."

His Master places a hand on Derek's shoulder, turning him around to face him. Mikael is kissing him and Derek feels so damn wanted and loved that he can barely stand it. Carl said he would make him an ugly whore and that no one could have him. Derek is wanted. He's chosen Mikael.

The nightlife is in full swing by the time they make their way downstairs. Derek can hear the base beat of music before they even get to the first floor. Mikael has told Derek to heel. Derek heels, walking just a step behind and to the right of his Master.

The main room of Passion is an expansive space. There's a stage on one side, a circular bar in the middle. Tables are spread out with enough area for people to move around them, or crawl around them, as it were. There are booths all around the edges of the room. Curtained rooms lie off to the side, each with a guard in front of them. There are cages lifted off the ground. Some of the cages have people in them, some of them don't.

Derek doesn't want to go into a cage.

Mikael spots Derek staring at the cages and pauses to speak with him. "You don't belong in a cage. Your submission to me needs no cage, no leash. You are a wild thing that chooses to be mine. Understood?"

"Yes, Master." As always, Mikael is so very in tune with what Derek is thinking and feeling. It's a relief to know that he won't be put in a cage. Derek has been put in a cage before. He's been put in a box before. Neither went well for him. He isn't sure he could handle being put into one at all if he has a choice about it, much less in public where there are too many unknown variables.

Really, it only drives home the fact that this is his choice. He chooses Mikael. He chooses to be here with him and for him. He chooses to put himself out here like this for his Master and his Master knows what he can and cannot handle. It feels good.

On the way to Mikael's usual table, they pass by Bran who somehow both glares and winks at Derek at the same time. Derek gives Bran a wry look that seems to amuse Bran in turn.

Usually, Derek knows that Mikael would slide all the way to the center of his circular booth. This time he sits on one end with his back to the wall and where he has a view of the entirety of the club. He points at the floor where a pallet has already been placed.

Derek kneels there, hands behind his back and looks up to his Master who's grinning at him.

For awhile it's uneventful. Derek kneels there. Lily brings Mikael a glass of wine and smiles at Derek before she's gone again. Occasionally Derek feels Mikael's fingers in his braids or his hand at the back of his neck or on his shoulder. He periodically smells the scent of cloves when his Master has lit one of his cigarettes.

Derek never looks down. He witnesses all kinds of things. One person crawling after his Mistress. A man offering his cock to one of the pets in a cage. One man is spanked by another. A woman is sitting on a stool with a dildo atop it. The dildo is inside of her. There's another whipping on stage. Derek watches all of this, looking for any sign that anything happening is unwanted. He sees no sign of that. The pets are eager to please. The Masters are eager to show off their pets.

That's why Mikael wanted him here, Derek thinks. Mikael doesn't care about all the debauchery around him. He likes to show off what's his though, his tamed lion.

When Mistress Y'lanna finishes on stage, she unties the straps holding her pet in place from the cross and snaps a leash to his collar. She brings him down to the floor and pauses at Mikael's table.

"Mikael, may we sit with you?" She asks.

"You may."

Mistress Y'lanna, up close, is a face that Derek recognizes from Mikael's business before. She was in the Master's Circle. She slides into the opposite side of the booth from Mikael. Instead of making her pet sit on the ground, she allows him up in the booth with her. The man seems lost in his own head space as he nestles up against her side. She rests her arm around him, pets him, kisses him, whispers words of praise to him.

For awhile she pays attention to no one but her pet in the same way Mikael pays such close attention to Derek after some of the things they do. Mikael is silent through this, drinking his wine. Derek is silent as well, wondering if he and Mikael ever look like that together; like they desperately need one another, like they love each other above all things, like they're one cohesive unit, two sides of the same coin.

While the four of them sit together Derek suddenly feels a buzzing vibration in his ass from the plug Mikael had put there. He looks back to his Master in time to see him grinning and putting some device back into his pocket. Derek shifts uncomfortably as his body responds to the vibration in that most sensitive of places.

"He's beautiful, Mikael." Y'lanna finally says. "I'm glad you finally got him to come out with you tonight."

"You and I both are glad, Y'lanna."

"Will you eventually put him on the rack?"

"Perhaps, given some time." Mikael says. "He had a terrible experience with a whip, as you know."

"Yes, I remember. I hate that man. It's horrible what he did." Y'lanna is staring at him. Derek stares back. "Rest assured that your lion is still beautiful, wild and enviable."

"He is all of those things." Mikael's hand rests on Derek's shoulder. "I think he enjoyed watching your performance on stage with your own beautiful pet."

Did he enjoy it? Enjoy seems a strange word when joined with Mistress Y'lanna whipping her pet. Maybe he can understand the beauty in it. Mikael is always talking about how Derek chooses to submit to him and how beautiful it is. Derek can see how submission, in any form and when freely given, can be beautiful. Maybe he did enjoy it.

"Perhaps you could grace us with a different sort of scene."

That suggestion brings Derek back into the conversation. Mistress Ylanna wants to see a scene with him and Mikael? What kind of scene?

"Oh, my darling lion is already reeling from the very suggestion." Mikael sounds amused even as his hand pets back over Derek's braids. "But perhaps you would like to see how beautiful he is when he allows me the run of his body."

"Allows you?"

"Oh he would only allow it of me, you see. He's bite the head off of anyone else who tried."

Y'lanna looks at Derek with curiosity and amusement. Derek's eyes narrow a bit as he tries to suss out what his Master wants him to do. Apparently that slight narrowing of his eyes is all it takes. Mistress Y'lanna arches a brow and nods. "I can see that he is dangerous. His beauty is in that danger."

"And he's mine." Mikael says.

"He chooses to be yours." Y'lanna says. "I welcome a show."

"Come sit up on the table in front of me, darling."

Like he did at the date Mikael had planned for them weeks before. Derek stands up and pushes up to the table, shifting so he has a leg on either side of Mikael. The vibrating plug is pressed farther into his ass in this position and has to fight not to groan from the sensation. He's also vaguely aware that with the base of the plug pressing against the table through his leather pants, the vibration can be felt in the table. Y'lanna and her pet will know it's there if they're paying attention. Y'lanna, at least, doesn't seem to miss much of anything.

Derek stares down at Mikael. Mikael looks up to him with a silent question. Will Derek let him play as he will? Will Derek trust him? The club descends into nothing but background noise and Derek nods at him. He'll trust Mikael.

"Lie back, arms out to your sides."

As Derek lies back, he wonders if Mikael had known this would happen and the other time he'd laid back on this table had been done to prepare him for now. His Master always has a plan.

In this position he can look up and see Mistress Y'lanna and her pet looking down at him. "Are we free to touch, Mikael?"

"If my wild lion permits it." Derek feels the laces that hold his cock into the leather loosen. The leather is pulled aside and cool air hits his hard cock. Mikael's fist is around him.

"Do you permit our touch, lion?"

Derek is momentarily confused. On one hand, it might please Mikael to see someone else touch him. On the other hand, he's dangerous to everyone but Mikael. That's what makes him answer in the way that he does. "If it pleases my Master." Mikael gave him power and control. Derek is willing to give it back to him. And maybe that's what Mikael has wanted all along. Maybe that's a part of the trust Mikael wants Derek to place in him.

"You may touch him from the waist up." Derek's trust is not misplaced. Only Mikael will touch him in those most intimate of places.

Mikael's familiar, elegant hands begin to stroke over his cock. Mistress Y'lanna's hands smooth over his chest and shoulders, pinch at his nipples and tug on the piercings there. Her long nails tease gently at his skin. The plug continues it's incessantly teasing vibration. And eventually, Mistress Y'lanna whispers something to her pet. The man leans up over him and gives him an upside-down kiss. Derek kisses him back.

Derek is pretty sure that he couldn't be more at home in his own skin than he is right now. Derek feels good. Derek feels loved. Derek feels glued back together by the man now lapping his tongue up his cock.

Submission isn't about having control taken from you as it was for so long before now. Submission is about giving control away and trusting that it'll be given back to you when you want or need it. This is the lesson Derek is learning.

Derek feels happy.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

A soft taupe color is going up on the walls in one of the newly sheet-rocked rooms at Derek's restoration house. Music is playing from a small speaker connected to Derek's golden iPod. Every time he touches that iPod his thumb smoothes over the engraving on the back. Mikael adores him. He knows.

Jesse's brought Molly with him and is helping out with pouring paint into cans. Penelope and Bran have joined him to help out. Bran is the only one of his friends from the harem that has started venturing outside of Passion but he only does so with Derek at his side. Penelope Garcia has dressed down for the occasion and that's the current topic of conversation.

The four of them have each picked a wall and are busy taping up edges and putting color on with roller and paint brushes.

"I'm just saying that you probably had to look pretty hard to find tennis shoes with heels, baby girl." It's a good-natured teasing that makes both Derek and Penelope smile.

Penelope's shoes are black with white laces and a white toe. They have big, clunky, three inch heels on them. They would almost look like Converses except that Converse has better sense than that. "I have actual tennis shoes, you know. These just went great with this painting outfit. I mean look how cute I am."

"Painting outfit?" Bran smirks. He's taken well to Penelope, getting in on some of the back and forth with her. He's still wary of Jesse, having recognized him from the Gallery.

Derek watches Penelope circle around and nods before going back to painting. "Always cute."

"I like them." Jesse says plainly.

"See?!?" Penelope declares, pointing in Jesse's direction. "Some people get me. Thank you, kind Sir, for your fashion sense appreciation."

"What the hell is this color, anyway? Tan?" Bran asks.

"It's officially called 'Plaza Taupe'. I asked the guy for taupe thinking it'd be easy and he put a whole book full of taupe colors in front of me with every version of taupe a person can come up with. I just pointed at one and it was this one."

"Plaza taupe is sexy. I approve of plaza taupe." Penelope says. "Of course I would have gone with a blood red or a rich purple."

Derek chuckles and shakes his head. "It's best to have muted colors when you're trying to sell a house."

"Since this one is getting close to done, will you be looking for another one to restore?" Jesse asks.

"Yeah, I already have a few in mind."

"I wanna help." As usual, Bran leaves no room for argument even if Derek wanted to argue. "Whatever you're doing, I wanna help."

"You got it." Derek has a feeling that getting out here with him is easier for Bran right now than it would be if he were alone. Derek is Bran's safety net for the world at large. Derek is fine with that. Derek sometimes needs a safety net too, even now.

"And you know you've got me too." Penelope says. "I may not always work but I can definitely provide food, drinks and entertainment."

"Me too." Jesse adds. "Although I'll probably do more work than entertaining."

"I'll be turning over houses at record pace then." Molly yips at them from another room and Derek sets down his roller brush. "I got it."

Derek finds the puppy in what will be the kitchen. He hefts her up and takes her out the back door to the yard where he sets her down in the grass. "Go on, Molly girl." The puppy starts sniffing around, moving through the grass that Derek needs to mow again.

The skies are overcast, the air a bit balmy with the scent of impending rain. Derek wonders if they'll ever get to go back to the beach house, him and Mikael, Jesse and Zane, wherever Zane is. A single stray drop of rain lands on his arm. Yeah, it's going to rain.

There's movement in the corner of his eye and Derek turns to see a man, a familiar man, a man who had done horrible things to him before with Carl Buford. Jay Newman.

The man snarls at Derek, coming in quick and fast. Derek lifts his arms to grab Jay by the shoulders, sweep a leg beneath his and bring him down to the ground. They grapple then. Derek lands several punches, so does Jay. Derek's lips are dripping blood. He winds up on top again, hands around Jay's throat and pressing hard. Jay is trying to free Derek's hands, trying to pull in breath. Life is slowly draining from Jay's eyes and still Derek's hands choke him.

Just as Jay's hands slip away and his eyes close Derek feels the hard hit of metal at the back of his head. Once. Twice. The third one slams against his cheek as he turns back in time to see Carl swinging a crowbar at him. The fourth hit is what does him in. He rolls into the grass and has time to see Molly coming in close to lick blood off of his face before the world around him goes black.

 

* * *

 

Derek's head is swimming. He knows he needs to get Molly back inside but right now he has to work very hard to move anything. He tries to lift his arm and accomplishes nothing more than a twitch of his fingers. Maybe one of his friends inside will come help him get back up. He must have fallen. He thinks about calling out to them and quickly stops himself.

He doesn't want them to come help him. Carl. Jay. He remembers them now. He remembers choking the life out of Jay. He remembers the brutal hit of a crowbar. Both of these men have nothing to lose and are willing to kill.

The truth of his current situation slowly starts infiltrating into his whimsical and scattered thoughts. The cool air against his skin tells him that he's naked. His ass feels like it's been raped a few times over, probably by both Carl and Jay. His limbs aren't bound. He's naked but he's not tied down or restrained in any way.

Beneath him, the floor is cold and concrete. He's lying down and feels no bars around him, no walls. He's not in a cage. He's not in a box. He's just naked. He's been raped, he knows that.

Derek opens one eye and looks across the floor. His clothes are in a pile; pants, shirt, shoes, socks, his necklace/collar that Mikael had given him.

The toe of a boot not so gently kicks at his ribs. "Looks like you're waking up, boy. About time. Can't hide from me."

That's Carl's voice. A well of emotion surges inside of Derek, a lump in his throat that he has to swallow back down, moisture in his eyes that he squeezes shut to keep inside. He fights to regain control of himself, focuses on slowing his heart rate, slowing his breathing, calming down. He accomplishes all of these things after just a few seconds.

Derek starts to push himself up to his knees. His head pounds in protest and he rests back down against the concrete floor. There's only one voice in his head. It's just him, the man who stands on the middle ground between two worlds, the man he's fought so hard to be. He talks to himself.

_Come on. Get it together. Get it together, Derek. Get up. Get up and fight. Be a lion._

He pushes himself up again. It takes much longer than it should, but eventually he's on his knees and glaring up at the man from his nightmares: Carl Buford. 

Then he sees beyond Carl and that resolve he'd had momentarily crumbles. Several feet away, tied to two chairs, are Aaron and another man. The chairs are metal. Both of them are zip tied to the chairs at ankles and wrists. Their mouths are gagged. Both of them are looking worriedly to Derek.

"It's like a party, isn't it? All your friends are here. Well, two of them." Carl says. "They didn't much like watching me fuck you. I think we put on a good show for them anyway. And you're gonna put on even more of a show."

Derek stares at the man sitting next to Hotch. His hair is longer, down to his shoulders. He has a beard and mustache. But Derek would know those eyes anywhere. Zane. Zane is here. Why is Zane here? Carl has Zane and Hotch. Carl will kill them both no matter what Derek says or does, just like he did to Sarah.

"Now I know you learned a lotta good stuff over the last few years. I can't wait to see it now."

Derek's attention shifts back to Carl. He can almost literally feel the fire in his own eyes. He wants to kill this man. He wants to end it now. If that means killing himself in the process so that Carl has nothing, so be it. Derek will do whatever it takes to end it now.

_I'm a lion._

"Where's your friend?" Derek asks.

"Jay? You killed him. Good job on that. He was getting on my last nerve. Don't really need him anymore anyway. Helped me get your FBI friend there. Helped to distract you so I could knock you out. What else do I need him for?" Carl shrugs. "Might could've used him to get your other friend there tied down. But once I held a gun to your head he tied himself down mostly."

Zane showed up here? Has Mikael had Zane following Derek? Looking out for Derek?

"Now, I think your hands are supposed to be somewhere other than where they are." Carl says. "Show me what a good whore you've learned to be."

Derek hesitates, looks up to Carl, then clasps his hands behind his back. He looks around the room. They seem to be in a warehouse of some sort. The space is massive. There's different equipment, large machinery that he isn't sure what it's used for scattered about the space.

Then there's Carl Buford. The man has a gun in one hand and a knife in the other. That knife looks familiar. It was in Derek's boot.

"I guess you couldn't wait to fuck me because the only way you can is if I'm drugged, tied up or knocked out." Derek says.

The grip of the gun is brought down against Derek's head. The throbbing in his skull magnifies. Damn, it hurts. He looks back up to Carl. "You gonna kill me? Finish the job that didn't quite stick last time?"

"Look at that face. Every time you look in a mirror you remember me. You remember you're nothing but an ugly whore. No one but me wants you, Derek. Anyone else is taking pity on you. But me? I really want you no matter what. You should've been mine. But you couldn't do that."

As Carl speaks he's pacing around Derek. Derek looks over to Zane and Hotch. "Poor ugly whore, needs to be fucked. Cause that's what you need, isn't it Derek? You need to submit. You need to have cock inside of you."

The truth mixed in with the lies make the lies seem a little more truthful. Derek tries to separate the two. Yes, he thinks of Carl every time he notices his scars in the mirror. Yes, he needs sex. Yes, sometimes he still thinks Carl made him into an ugly whore. But then there's Mikael. Mikael isn't taking pity on him. Mikael thinks he's beautiful. Mikael is the only one he wants to submit to. Derek is Mikael's lion.

"No matter what I do, you're gonna kill them." Derek watches Carl, head tilted in the direction of Zane and Hotch. "Like you did with Sarah. I said what you wanted to hear, and you still killed her."

"I had to teach you a lesson." Carl says. "Now you're gonna do what I say, right? Now you've learned what I'll do if you don't." The older man leans down, looking Derek in the eyes. He slides the barrel of the gun over the side of Derek's face. "You gonna do what I say, Derek? Show me what you've learned?"

Derek's jaw flexes, he draws in a deep breath, then he nods. "Yes, Sir."

_I'm a lion._

Lions are all stealth. They wait for their moment and then pounce. They make you think they're tame, and then they remind you of what you're dealing with. Derek is a lion. He's Mikael's lion. He's a wild and dangerous thing. Carl Buford is about to understand just what he's messing with. One or both of them will be dead soon.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

When Derek was a kid, his Aunt Yvonne took all of the kids to a zoo, his sisters, his cousins and him. How she had ever managed all those kids by herself is beyond him now. But it's one of Derek's fondest memories of life after his dad's death. Zoos are both beautiful and tragic things. He'd even thought that as a kid, how beautiful the wild animals were, how sad it was that they were put in cages.

Now he thinks he can empathize with those animals even more. They're hard-wired to be wild and dangerous and free. But walls are put around them. They might seem it, but they're never really domesticated or tame. You can't change the nature of the beast.

Derek has been put into too many cages in the last few years. He's being put into another one right now. Derek is sick and tired of cages.

You can't go backward. You can only go forward. Derek is pushing forward, towards what, he isn't sure. But he knows he's going in the right direction, good or bad, whether he winds up dead or alive, he isn't going backward and he isn't stagnate in one place.

Carl has pulled another metal chair out and set it a few feet away from Derek. He's sat down in it. He still has the knife in one hand and the gun in the other. Derek is kneeling on the floor, naked, hands clasped behind his back and knees spread wide. He's oddly comfortable like this, even now.

"You were always too bull-headed for your own good. I gave you everything, boy. I gave you the life you had. It was mine to take away." Carl chuckles and shakes his head. "Ungrateful whore. You locked me up. Then you deny me any help. I snatched you outta the gutter, boy. When you're dead, I'm gonna toss you right back in."

Derek says nothing. He just listens. He waits.

"Got nothing to say?"

Derek says nothing. He just listens. He waits.

"Where's that mouth of yours? You used to always have something to say! They beat those words out of you?"

Derek says nothing. He just listens. He waits.

"Just as well. Whore's mouths are used for other things. Bet that asshole you're seeing uses your mouth in all the right ways." Carl says, leaning in and resting an elbow on his knee. "When I had you in that basement, you told my guys that if they tried to fuck your mouth you'd bite it off. That's not true anymore, is it? You take cock all day every day. Damn, I hate Martin for taking you from me, but I love what they did to you."

Derek says nothing. He just listens. He waits.

Carl reaches for his fly, unbuttons and unzips his jeans. Then he leans back in his chair and pulls out his cock, holding it out for Derek. "Well come on then."

It's been seared into Derek's mind, heart and soul that he is not allowed to bite. Mikael has tried to alter some of what has been done to him, but his Master can only do so much. It's going to take time. In the Catacombs he'd learned to take whatever is put in front of him without argument. All of these thoughts are racing through Derek's mind as he leans forward and crawls over to Carl.

As he moves, he feels like he's drowning. Deeper and deeper into the black. It's almost a disassociation from his current reality on a very extreme level. The walls are closing in. He can look down at see himself crawling toward Carl Buford. He can see everything happening from an outsider point of view he shouldn't have.

When Derek is between Carl's legs, hands clasped behind his back again, Carl points the gun not at Derek, but at Zane and Hotch. Derek can't tell which one of them it's aimed at. But it's pointed at them, the safety off, the weapon ready to fire. Derek glares up at Carl. The walls are still closing in so that his skin feels tight.

Derek's knife in Carl's hand is brought in to caress over Derek's face. The sharp edge gently traces the lines of his scars, slides down his cheek to underneath his chin where the point is pressed against his skin, forcing his head to cant back.

"You've probably sucked so much cock by now that this is nothing to you." Carl says, pulling the knife away. "Come on. Be the cock sucking whore you are. Show me how good you are, Derek. Show me what you've learned."

There is so much going on inside of Derek right now. The words 'I'm not a biter' and 'no is a bad word' keep repeating themselves over and over again. He keeps trying to remind himself that he's Mikael's lion. He's strong and wild and dangerous and he wants out of this cage so fucking bad he's ready to kill everyone in his path to make it happen.

Then there's the deeper bits and pieces of his past with this man that make him feel small and nauseated and like he's more vulnerable right now than he's ever been. Secrets. Derek kept all of those secrets for too long. Now they're just painful.

Add to that, the gun pointed at people Derek loves. Derek has always had a hero complex. There had been a time when he would have done anything to save other people, especially his people. Now, maybe selfishly, he's more concerned about saving himself. One more fall and he isn't sure he can be put back together again. It's why he told Hotch that he would be done if the rug was pulled out from beneath him even one more time. Given time, that might change. Right now it is what it is. He'll crumble into unfixable pieces if he doesn't do something to stop it. There will be no more Derek Morgan. He might as well die if that happens. Right now, in this moment, it's do or die.

He's vaguely aware of Hotch and Zane struggling to free themselves of their bonds.

Derek leans in and flicks his tongue over the head of Carl's cock. It's already been inside of him even if he doesn't remember it. He feels where it's been. Carl Buford was not gentle. Derek's eyes are blurred with tears. Damn it. He's crying. Still, he takes the older man into his mouth and starts sucking him off. Carl is right, Derek is very good at this by now. This is nothing. He is not a biter. This is nothing.

It's nothing....

_I'm a lion. I'm wild and dangerous. I'm a lion._

Maybe he blacks out, Derek isn't sure. The next thing he knows, he tastes blood, so much blood that it's dripping from the corners of his mouth and down his chin. It's coating his face and neck and shoulders, sliding down his skin. The gun has been fired, maybe more than once. Someone is cursing. Derek feels a pinch in his abdomen. He spits something out of his mouth. Carl is on the floor screaming and bleeding profusely at his crotch. Derek is screaming too, roaring loud and wild. He is a dangerous thing.

He sees the knife on the floor and reaches for it. He holds it so tightly that his knuckles ache. Then he lifts it up over Carl and hesitates. Why is he hesitating? Derek is not sadistic. He only does what's necessary when it's necessary. You can't change the nature of the beast. Carl Buford is about to bleed out anyway.

"You fucking son of a bitch. You bit it off. FUCK!" Carl says. "Fucking whore."

Instead, he curls his hand around the hilt of the knife and pulls back, his fist lands hard against Carl's face. Once. Twice. He punches half a dozen times until Carl is reduced to whimpers and Derek settles back on his heels and tries to catch his breath. Derek tilts his head back and he roars. He screams so loud, so hard, so long that his throat hurts. His mind is swimming. His mind is floating. Everything is tight... tight... tight... so tight he could suffocate on all of it.

Derek is vaguely aware of a presence behind him. He feels a touch to his shoulder and reacts like any threatened wild thing would. He lashes out, roaring, twisting until his hand is at Mikael's throat. The tip of the knife presses against Mikael's gut. It would take very little to push it in. He stares at his Master, his eyes wild.

The ocean stares back at him. Elegant fingers curl gently around his wrist. "My wild lion. I absolutely adore you, you know."

Derek knows. Mikael Pomelov is the lion tamer. Mikael adores the lion. Derek's fingers gradually loosen their hold at his Master's neck. There will probably be bruises there.

Some of Mikael's guards are cutting the ties holding Hotch and Zane in the chairs. Hotch's arm is bleeding. He was shot.

Mikael carefully pulls the knife from Derek's hand. "You're okay, darling. You're okay. Your Master is here and I will take care of you."

Carl laughs. "Take care of him? You mean you'll take pity on him. Fucking whore."

The ocean is icing over as Mikael's gaze slides over to Carl. "And you. You have hurt what is mine and I'll not abide that." Mikael's voice is cool and calm as he rolls the hilt of the knife between his fingers. "I've wanted to do this for a very long time. I won't lie to you, I'll enjoy it so very much." Then he leans close to whisper to Carl in Russian. " _Zah-ye-bis, blyad._ "

It's so easy the way Mikael ever so slowly slides the sharp edge of the blade over Carl's face, slicing through skin in the same way Carl had sliced through Derek's. His other hand is holding Carl's chin with a death grip even as the older man screams in pain. Mikael takes his time.

It's so easy the way the blade then shifts lower and Mikael slices through Carl's neck like a hot knife through butter. Carl quits screaming, gasping in breath instead. He makes horrible gurgling sounds and it looks like Mikael is smiling.

It's so easy the way Mikael then viciously stabs the blade into Carl's crotch and leaves it there in mocking tribute to the dick that Derek had bitten off. Carl tries to scream again, but can't.

Derek watches all of this, still in that strange place where time is fluid. Hotch and Zane stand sentinel while it happens. Neither make a move to stop Mikael. His Master makes it look so easy, like it's a work of art, all without getting any blood on his hands or his suit or any part of himself. Mikael is a professional. Mikael always has a plan.

Derek is covered in Carl's blood. Mikael is clean as a whistle.

Mikael turns to Derek, removing his necktie from around his neck. He presses the necktie to Derek's abdomen and Derek looks down to see blood spilling down his thigh. Derek is still in that place where the world is too tight, where he's outside of himself, outside of the situation. When he sees the blood though, only then does the pain really register. Derek was shot too.

"Darling, are you with me?"

Derek says nothing. He watches Carl. He waits.

"Derek?"

Derek says nothing. He watches Carl. He waits.

He witnesses the last breath Carl Buford will ever take. It's like bulldozing a condemned building. It's a line of exclamation points following a nonsense word. It's the end of something horrible and confusing, the beginning of something else.

Everything snaps back into place. The world starts making sense again, as if it had been running in slow motion and has only now started to catch up with the present.

"Darling..."

He wants so badly to lean into his Master and just be held for a bit. But he's covered in blood and Mikael is so perfectly put together at all times. His Master reaches out to pull him close anyway and Derek willingly rests against him. He just needs a minute to be okay. Just a minute, or two, or several.

Maybe he needs a lifetime.

He can feel Aaron and Zane close. Hotch is getting an ambulance here. Otherwise, both men let him be for now. They let him hold onto Mikael. They let Mikael hold him.

Mikael whispers one word in his ear. "Mine."

Derek thinks one word: Yours.

It's when he hears sirens in the distance, getting closer, that he starts to pull away and then looks over to Hotch.

"I'm sorry, Hotch." He whispers. Sorry that he got mixed up in Carl's insanity. Sorry for doing whatever it took to survive even though the gun was pointed in his friend's direction.

"No, you did what you had to do." Hotch gestures to his arm. "It didn't penetrate. It's just a flesh wound."

"Hey, you bit that asshole's dick off. That was bad ass." Zane is kneeling there with Derek's clothes. Derek stares at him. Zane forces a grin, always trying to make light of any situation. "Happy to see me? I would've kicked his ass if he hadn't had a gun to your head. You know I could've kicked his ass, right?"

Derek smirks and nods. "I know you could have." Then he leans over and hugs Zane tightly. "I missed you."

"Yeah, I missed you too. Sucked watching you from a distance for so long. But, you know, boss's orders. Had to stay out of sight." Zane hugs Derek, careful of his injuries. "Sucked watching this too."

Derek stands and lets Zane and Mikael help him with his clothes. He's glad because he doesn't want to be naked when the ambulance gets here.

Aaron taps Zane on the shoulder. "The FBI has been looking for you."

Zane gives Hotch a look that says 'you caught me', then smirks. "I'm slippery, hard to find."

"Yeah, I don't know where you went after we were untied."

Zane looks at Hotch. Hotch looks at Zane.

"Get out of here, Zane." Mikael says. "I'll be in touch."

"Don't have to tell me twice." Even though Zane says these words, he lingers just briefly, looking at both Mikael and Derek as if he wants to stay. He can't stay.

Once he's gone, Mikael looks at Aaron. "Thank you, Agent Hotchner."

"How did you know where we were?"

"My phone always knows where Derek's phone is." Mikael says, looping the chain around Derek's neck and clasping the ends together. "Also, I put a tracker in this necklace. Also, Zane has been keeping an eye on Derek. Given all of these things, there is no way I don't know where Derek is at all times. Zane called me when Derek was put in the trunk of a car."

Strangely, Derek is fine with all of these ways that Mikael has been keeping an eye on him.

"And who are these other men?" Hotch gestures to the guards who had arrived with Mikael, his guards.

"Friends, security from my club."

Aaron seems to consider this for several moments before nodding. "I suggest you leave as well. You can't afford the scrutiny. I'll take care of him."

"He'll be taken to a hospital?"

"Yes."

Mikael looks at Derek, one hand cupping his face in spite of the blood still there. "I'll meet you there. I'll meet you at the hospital."

There is no part of Derek that wants Mikael to leave right now, but he knows it's for the best so he nods. "Okay. Your prints are on the knife."

Hotch leans down and wipes the knife handle clean with the hem of his shirt. "Go. They're here."

As Mikael and his guards leave through the back of the warehouse, Derek looks at Hotch. His letting Zane and Mikael leave has surprised him. Maybe Derek had really needed something good to happen. He feels tears threaten, his face starts to crumble and he just barely gets control of it before it does. "Thank you."

"Does the ground feel solid, Derek? Are you okay?" Hotch stands back up, looking into Derek's eyes.

He gives in, letting the emotions flood over him as he hugs his friend then. Hotch hugs him back. "I'm okay, Hotch. Thank you."


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

From the ordeal Derek had a slight concussion, had to get new stitches in his brow from the crowbar and the bullet in his abdomen removed. Luckily the bullet didn't hit anything that would do extensive damage. Hotch's wound was a flesh wound, just as he'd said.

As Carl had said, Derek had indeed killed Jay Newman in the backyard of the house he'd been working on. Molly was fine. Jesse, Bran and Penelope had been beside themselves when they'd discovered Derek had been taken. Apparently Bran had hit Jesse, calling him stupid for letting Derek go out there alone. Jesse had hit Bran in retaliation. There's still no love lost between the two. They begrudgingly tolerate one another for Derek.

Carl Buford is dead. Carl Buford is dead. Carl Buford is dead.

Derek repeats this to himself often, even a month later. He's just now getting to where he can work out with Hotch and J.J. again, where he can do more than just paint walls at the house, where his torso doesn't hurt where he was shot or his head doesn't swim when he moves around too much.

Mikael has been very careful with him, found inventive ways to play with him using the jingle ball. Derek has let Mikael dress him in leathers and harness a few times. He's knelt by his Master's feet at the club. Mikael has taken him out to dinner a few times on actual dates that make Derek feel more and more steady on that middle ground he wants to stand on.

Often, Derek finds his way to the top floor of Passion, naked and kneeling on a pallet. He finds peace when he's there like this in his Master's space. He's able to turn his mind off and just exist in a place where the day to day doesn't seem so difficult. Sometimes Mikael is there. Sometimes his Master is busy with other things. Mikael has given Derek full access to this place whenever he needs it.

Today he's in the room with his friends. He's stretched out on a pallet on his side, head resting in his hand, propped up on an elbow. Beside him is Jai who is lying on his stomach with his arms folded beneath his head. Derek's fingers are tracing designs over Jai's back.

Dare is nearby letting his nails dry. He's just painted them a pale glittery pink. Lily is playing music on her iPod that's connected to a speaker dock for all of them to hear. Bran is lying back near Derek, glaring at the ceiling as if it has personally affronted him in some way.

They've been sitting around telling stories like they used to in the Mistress's harem. Only these stories have a sense of freedom about them. No one is careful of what they say. No one is worried about retribution should they say the wrong thing. They speak of what they remember before the Gallery. They speak of their time with the Mistress and their time after the Gallery fell.

Jai is mostly quiet, content to listen and let Derek's touch soothe him. Occasionally he offers up something of himself, his past, his opinion on other things, but those moments are few and far between.

"I don't ever wanna see my family again." Bran says. "They wouldn't know me anymore anyway... so fuck that shit. This is my family now."

"Yeah, I'm not sure I'd wanna see mine either... even if I could remember them." The way that Dare says this makes it sound like a joke, complete with a smirk to punctuate it. "I mean I know I had one, but... I don't know, all my memories are confusing. Plus I'm way cuter now. So what's the point?"

They all smile. Dare's mind is scattered where his past is concerned. For Dare there is no going backward. Bran chooses not to. They look at Lily.

"What about you, Lily-Bug?" Derek says, fingertips tracing down Jai's spine, then drawing slow circles back up toward his shoulders.

She shrugs lightly. "My family here. What was is not what is." She changes the song from something classical to one of the rap songs Derek had showed her. "Someone must look after the four of you, after all. My boys."

Derek smiles at her. They are, all four of them, Lily's boys, each in their own way. Derek will never forget her help and her kindness on his first day in the harem.

"You all know that Mikael will give you anything you want or need." Derek says. "So will I. You're my family too."

"This is some messed up family." Bran says with a smirk. "I mean, it's good. Just... most families don't lay around naked together and fuck each other on a daily basis."

Dare is the first to laugh, rich and joyful. "Hey man, I'll take this any day of the week. There are worse things than loving and fucking your family."

There are much worse things than this.

They all end up laughing together. Bran's hand fists Derek's braids to bring his head back so he can kiss him. Bran's kiss is hard and bruising. The tug on his braids stings at Derek's scalp. Jai is crawling on top of Derek, his lips at his neck, working their way down his chest. This is when Jai seems the most alive these days, when they're intimate together.

Jai needs sex. Derek understands that. He needs it too. They all do. Their bodies have been altered, designed to crave this all day, every day. Derek is lucky, he thinks, lucky to have these people who are so like him, but also have his heart as well.

"Aw crap. My nails are still drying." Dare mutters.

"So you watch." Derek says. "We'll take care of you in a minute. Lily?" Derek reaches back for her hand. When he feels her delicate hand in his he guides her over to Bran to straddle him. She easily sits down on Bran, her hips pumping to take his cock deeper inside.

Derek pulls Jai up for a kiss. Jai hums his approval as Derek lightly scrapes his teeth over his bottom lip. Derek is still learning that he is a biter. He likes to bite everyone but Mikael... unless Mikael wants him to bite.

Jai slips down to take Derek's cock into his mouth. Derek rests a hand at the back of Jai's head and leans up to suckle and tease at Lily's small breasts.

"Fuck, that's hot." Bran says.

"You're not wrong." Dare adds.

Bran laughs then, a smile that crinkles his eyes at the corners as he lifts his hips to help shove himself into Lily. "Fucked up family."

"Long as that fucked up family makes their way over here eventually, I'm good with it." Dare's voice is tight, like a man who wants so badly but can't have what he wants yet. "Are we all good with it?"

"Fuck yeah." Bran says.

Jai and Lily both hum their approval.

Derek dips down to kiss Bran knowing fully well that Bran will make his lips bleed just as he always does. Maybe Derek will make Bran's lips bleed too. "Yeah, I'm good with it."

The four of them eventually make their way over to Dare. They converge on him, making him cry out with pleasure. They're very careful not to mess up his nails.

 

* * *

 

When Derek is invited out for a beer, he's happy to say yes. When Derek asks if he can bring Mikael and a friend of his named Bran, Penelope has assured him that it will be okay. When the others want to go out too, Derek is worried that things won't go so smoothly. He can't say no to them though.

They make quite the motley crew for public consumption. Jai, tall and slim, with darker skin than Derek's and the same eyeliner tattoos that Derek has. Jai's head is freshly shaved. Lily, slight and slim and built like a dancer, pale in an albino way. Dare who is taller and bigger than all of them, muscled and broad, tanned skin and long blond hair, wearing a big shirt to try to hide his breasts. Bran, tan with black salt and pepper hair, a five o'clock shadow of scruff on his face and tattoos everywhere from the neck down.

Everyone stares. Mikael walks in like he owns the place and buys a round of drinks for the entire bar. Things seem to be okay after that. 

Derek finds his friends at a table not too far away. Hotch, Reid, Penelope and Rossi are here. J.J. had to go do family things. He leads the others to them and starts introductions. Obviously, introductions take awhile. If Mikael, Derek and Bran seem a little over-protective of Lily, Jai and Dare, it's because they are.

The night goes smoothly, everyone is getting along. Derek is happy and thankful. Reid is showing Lily and Dare how to play darts. Mikael has sat down with Jai when Jai becomes too uncomfortable. Bran is with Derek, using his safety net for all its worth in this new environment. Derek is fine with that.

"We have some intel that the Gallery is trying to rebuild itself." Hotch says eventually.

"What? Fuck that shit." Bran says. No, Hotch wasn't speaking with him. That's his reaction anyway.

Derek shakes his head. "There's no way the FBI could have gotten all of them, the entire organization."

"No, but it'll take a very long time for them to rebuild to what they were, if they ever can. And now we have insight to how they operated." Hotch glances at Bran, over to Jai, Lily and Dare, then back to Derek. "Is this what's left of the Harem we never found?"

Hotch is smart. He's always been smart.

"They work for Mikael." Derek gives his friend a steady look. It isn't an obvious yes or no, but Hotch will see the yes in it. "At the club."

"We're doing good where we are." Bran is eyeing Hotch like he's ready to fight to stay where he is if he has to. "Derek's helping us."

Aaron nods. "Good."

"Do you think Jesse's in danger?" Jesse had been implanted into the Gallery years ago. Jesse had been the reason the FBI was able to bring the Gallery down. That word has to have gotten out.

"Maybe. It's hard to know."

Derek looks over to where Mikael is comforting Jai. If Derek tells his Master that Jesse might be in trouble, will Mikael do anything about it? He isn't sure. Maybe.

"Okay, enough sad talk! I declare it to be dancing time!" Penelope interjects. She grabs both Derek's and Bran's hands and drags them out to the dance floor. Neither of them protest. Then again it's hard to say no to Penelope Garcia, apparently, even for Bran. It's a good night.

 

* * *

 

Derek is standing in Mikael's room. He's naked and comfortable. He's looking at the candid photograph of Antoine and Mikael laughing. Antoine looks so free and happy. Mikael is calculating as always, but amused. Derek has loved these men for different reasons and in different ways.

What would his life be like now if Antoine had lived? He would be Antoine's stallion. It would have been a different kind of happiness than this, just a little bit twisted because Antoine wasn't lying when he said he was out of his depth, that his brother was the true Master. Antoine, as much as Derek had grown to love him, had put together one of the many cages Derek has been in over the last few years.

Mikael set him free. He can look back even now and see how Mikael opened door after door for Derek, awakening parts of him that the Gallery had shut down.

In a way, Derek set himself free as well. By holding on to some of himself even when it was hard, even when he wanted to lose himself, even when he wanted to die. By fighting. By never looking down. By doing what was necessary to survive.

These two brothers will always be a part of him. He loved Antoine _so_ so much. He loves Mikael more than anything now.

"Do you miss him?"

Derek didn't hear Mikael enter the room. He looks back at his Master. "Yeah. Sometimes my heart hurts because he isn't here."

"I miss him too." Mikael's hand slides over Derek's body, the gesture itself is possessive. Mikael is always possessive with Derek. Derek likes being possessed by Mikael Pomelov. "I took care of your concerns with Jesse."

"Really?" A part of Derek didn't really expect Mikael to do anything to help the situation.

"He's safe."

Derek embraces Mikael. His Master holds him in return. "Are you happy, darling?"

"Yeah." Derek smiles, presses a kiss to the side of Mikael's neck before pulling back. "I have a question for you."

"Yes?"

"Will you put me on the rack downstairs, Master?" Derek asks. "I know you want to. I'm ready. I trust you. I want it too."

Mikael's grin is positively wicked.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

That night Mikael has dressed Derek in his leathers. The laces at the sides of his legs have been pulled tight so that the leather is like a second skin. He's foregone the harness. The chain and leather at his neck has been wrapped around again and again to form a tight collar at his neck.

Strangely enough, Derek isn't even nervous. He'd thought he might be, but he isn't. He feels comfortable in his own skin. He's right where he should be, doing what he wants to do. Any choices made from here on out are his own. It feels good.

Derek follows along behind Mikael with his head held high and hands clasped behind his back. Every time he enters the main room with Mikael people are watching. Mikael dominates a space and demands attention just by existing. They admire his domination over Derek. They admire Derek's submission to Mikael.

As his Master slides into his booth, Derek kneels on the black and gold pallet beside him. Lily brings Mikael a glass of wine. She smiles softly at Derek before leaving again.

"Look at me, darling."

Derek looks up into ocean blue eyes.

"I'm not going to strap you down. I want you to hold onto the cross at each top point of your own volition. I want you to keep your legs spread without any restraints." Mikael says. "Do you think you can do that for me?"

"Yes, Master." Even if Derek can't, he's going to try like hell before he gives up.

"I don't want you to censor yourself. I want to hear you cry out if you need to. I want to hear you in all things." Mikael's hand rests gently at the back of Derek's neck, lightly touching the skin there. "You must remember to breathe. Promise me."

"I won't hold my breath, Master. I'll remember to breathe, I promise."

"You must let yourself go, let yourself feel, let yourself trust that I will not give you more than you can handle."

"Yes, Master."

Mikael leans down and puts the rim of his wine glass to Derek's lips, tilts the glass up a bit to give Derek a sip of his wine.

For much of the night they stay just where they are. Derek watches the room around him even as he's deeply attuned to the man sitting beside him, to the scent of cloves that occasionally surrounds him like a warm blanket, to the occasional sip of wine his Master gives him.

Eventually though, Mikael slides from the booth and taps Derek on the shoulder. "Heel."

Derek gets to his feet and follows Mikael up onto the stage. His Master loosens the ties at the sides of his legs so that the waistline of his pants is pushed even lower, just barely covering his cock at the front, the crack of his ass peeking out of the top at the back.

"Face the rack and hold onto the top of each point."

"Yes, Master." Derek reaches up to grab the top points of the X. He's vaguely aware that the room has gone mostly silent save for the music pumping through the speakers above.

Mikael positions Derek's legs apart so that his feet are at the bottom points of the X. He makes a point of moving the straps to the back so that people will see that his lion is not tied down in any way. Then Derek can see Mikael loosening his tie, removing his suit jacket, and unbuttoning the top buttons of his dress shirt. The cuffs of his shirt sleeves are unbuttoned and rolled up.

Lily is there to take Mikael's necktie and coat away.

"What are you, Derek?" Mikael asks, his hands sliding possessively over Derek's skin.

"I'm yours, Master."

"Who do you belong to?"

"I belong to you, Master."

"Who do you love, darling?"

"I love you, Mikael."

There's a smile in Mikael's voice when he says one simple word. "Mine."

Derek grins too. "Yours, Master."

Mikael is at his back, brushing a kiss to Derek's shoulder and pushing one hand beneath the leather of his pants to squeeze one ass cheek. His Master whispers in his ear. "I absolutely adore you, you know."

"I know, Master." Those words are for Mikael only.

One hand brushes Derek's braids to the side over his shoulder to bare his entire back. Then his Master pulls away and Derek can sense that Mikael is moving around behind him. He hears the flick of a lighter and catches a whiff of cloves. Derek breathes it in. Then everything goes very still.

He can imagine Mikael with a cigarette dangling from his lips and a whip in his hand. The picture the two of them make on stage right now is one of the most erotic images Derek can remember having. His Master is beautiful, sexy and his. Derek feels beautiful, sexy and he's Mikael's.

The first sting of the whip makes Derek's body jerk against the cross. His hands tighten to hold onto the wood. He has to remind himself to breathe. Damn that hurt. It doesn't feel like it broke skin though. He remembers how Carl's lashing had felt. This is different. It's expertly and carefully controlled. Enough to sting like a snake bite. Not enough to break skin.

The second sting makes his body shudder as it rides out the pain. He gasps in a breath of air. He exhales slowly. He does the same through a third, fourth, fifth, all the way to seven.

On the eighth lash he cries out, is gasping for breath, is white-knuckling the cross to hold on. His back is on fire. He makes a small whimpering sound as he waits for more. There is nothing but this, nothing but him and Mikael and this moment.

The whip lands again. Derek lets his Master hear him. And again. Derek's cries echo in the room. Once more. And again.

Derek's muscles are strained and he sags against the X, barely holding himself up. He takes several deep breaths and then pulls himself back up so that he's no longer sagging, willing to take more, willing to take as much as his Master thinks he can take.

There's another crack of the whip. Derek roars, gasps for air. "Please." He whispers. "Master, please." What he's begging for, he has no idea. He doesn't want it to stop. He doesn't know what he wants.

Once more, the whip lands against his back and Derek fights to hold on and stay upright.

"Shhh, my darling lion. You've made me so proud." Mikael's arms are wrapped around him, holding him up as someone, he thinks it's Dare, is un-clenching Derek's hands from their death grip on top of the cross. Dare helps Mikael get Derek off the stage, to Mikael's booth. Mikael sits and slides in and Derek is told to sit with him.

Derek is still trying to catch his breath, heaving in great breaths as he leans in against his Master. "Please, Master. Please..." He whispers.

Mikael's elegant fingertips slide down Derek's front over his perspiration glazed chest, then pull even more laces on his pants loose, the laces at his crotch. His Master's hand dips into his pants and Derek willingly spreads his legs. This is what he was begging for. He knows that the moment his Master's hand is on his cock, fondling him, stroking him.

"Kiss me, Derek."

Derek tilts his head up. He kisses Mikael. Mikael kisses him. It starts out gentle and slow, but quickly turns more heated and needy as Derek pushes his hips up, grinds his cock into his Master's hand. "I want to please you, Master."

"You have pleased me so much, Derek. Your body is alive right now, a dancing flame that I control." Mikael says. "The entire room went silent while you were on the cross. They watched you. They wished you were theirs. And when you almost fell but didn't, when you pulled yourself back up, they applauded you and still wished that you were theirs."

"I'm yours, Master."

"Yes. Mine." Mikael's hand on Derek's cock picks up speed. Derek's body is a live wire under the attention, his mind still coming back from the whipping, his body fully aroused and wanting. He can't sit still.

"They're still watching you. I want to show them how beautiful you are when you cum. Would you like that, Derek? Do you want them to see what is mine? What they can never have?"

"Yes, if it pleases you, Master." Derek says.

"It pleases me. What are you, Derek?"

"I'm yours."

"Who do you belong to?"

"I belong to you, Master."

"Who do you love?"

"I love you."

"Cum now."

Derek's body arches up from the cushioned seat and he spills, crying out as his entire body shudders in pleasure in the same way it had moments before in pain. The mixture now, his own body's pleasure and the sting on his back, is a heady thing.

When Derek sinks back to the booth, cuddling in against his Master, Mikael presses kisses to his brow and whispers words like 'beautiful' and 'mine' against his skin.

They rest like that for awhile. Then Mikael has Derek lean forward and Mikael smooths some cream over Derek's back. None of Derek's skin is broken. It's only red where the lashes hit. His Master is a professional.

After awhile, Derek asks if he can please Mikael. When his Master nods, Derek slips down to the floor beneath the table, opens the fly of Mikael's slacks and pulls his cock out. He readily takes his Master into his mouth even as Mikael lights another clove.

His Master is pleased with his wild lion. That makes Derek happy.

 

* * *

 

Mikael has woken up for his middle of the night smoke. Derek always wakes up for that too just in case Mikael wants him for anything. His Master puts the cigarette to Derek's lips and Derek takes one breath of Mikael into him. Then he curls in against Mikael's side and his fingertips slide over his Master's abdomen, trace over sharp hip bones.

"I think you should move in here with me."

Derek looks up to Mikael. "You think so, huh?"

"You're always here anyway, either with me or the others downstairs. You're paying rent on a place you don't inhabit."

"You have a point." Derek goes silent as Mikael smokes, thinking about it for awhile. "I think I still need a place that's mine for awhile. Maybe someday I'll give that up. But right now... I like knowing I have somewhere that's mine."

Mikael takes another drag of his cigarette. "That's fine. The offer will stand. When you're ready, you need only make the move."

Derek turns his head so that he can press a kiss to Mikael's chest. "Thank you." He grins against Mikael's pale skin. "Master."

Mikael laughs lightly. "Your Master is a needy and demanding bastard who wants you to suck his dick again."

Derek starts to crawl down beneath silken sheets to do just what his needy, demanding bastard of a Master wants of him. "Well I do aim to please."

Fingers curl in Derek's braids to lift his head up so that they can look at each other in the dark bedroom. "Only me."

"Only you, Mikael." Derek says as his braids are released. He kisses down Mikael's abdomen. "I guess I have a thing for needy, demanding bastards."

Mikael laughs again, gasping in air as Derek's mouth reaches his cock. "I absolutely-..."

"I know."


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the episode 8x18 - Restoration
> 
> What if Carl Buford didn't die? What if he lived and escaped from prison? This is going to be an AU where this happens. It's going to take Derek many places and get very dark and twisted. If you are triggered by non-consensual rape elements, this isn't the fic for you.
> 
> This is Part 3 of the A Lion Tamed Series. Please read Part 1 & 2 first.

** Epilogue - six months later **

Time has been good to Derek. He's working on restoring another old house with Bran's help. He's started consulting on certain cases with the BAU. Hotch usually vets each case before it's brought before Derek. Slowly, gradually, Derek is taking on more and more.

Imagine Derek's excitement when Mikael has planned a trip to their beach house again. Derek loves the beach. He'll always love the beach. The fact that Mikael kept the beach house with the private beach that he'd bought for Derek means a lot. They can go there whenever they want.

Imagine his surprise when they get to said beach house and find Zane and Jesse there. Now Derek knows where Mikael has hidden them away for their own safety.

It's good to see them together. They've clearly reconciled in every way. When Zane occasionally calls Jesse 'Dick' now, it has a completely different context. They touch a lot. They kiss a lot. They touch and kiss Derek too.

Right now the three of them are sitting on a beach, soaking up some sun while Mikael is inside on the phone. Zane is smoothing some sun tan lotion onto Derek's back.

"So I've been teaching Jesse to surf. He's still not as good as us but he'll get there! I mean, he can't be good at everything, right?"

"Just give me a few more months. Then I'll be good at everything."

"Dick."

"Ass."

Derek feels the need to interrupt. "So you're both happy here?"

"Hell yeah! I mean, it sucks not being around you and Mikael. But the boss has promised that you two will get here every few months or so. I can deal with that."

Jesse shrugs and nods. "There are worse lives to live than this."

"I guess your resignation from the FBI went okay."

"It was smooth. I think they wanted me to do it so they wouldn't have to let me go after I served undercover for so long." Jesse lays back and closes his eyes. "Whatever. I like being here with Zane. And now you're here, so all is right with the world."

"Whatever the Gallery is rebuilding won't find him here." Zane says. "And if they do, they'll have to go through me to get him. Kicking ass is one of my favorite things!"

The three of them laugh. They all know that not all is right with the world. But in this, the little world that they've built for themselves, all is as right as it can be.

"Yeah." Derek says. "All is right with the world."

 

~The end~

 

*****Thanks for reading A Lion Tamed! I'm planning to write a few shorter stories in this verse for a bunch of the minor characters. If you're interested, watch for those. Again, thanks for all the kudos and comments. They are the fuel that feeds this fire. I absolutely adore all of you, you know! ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are love!


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